It has been a while since I posted anything here, and I imagined the journal to have a different header.
This is my decision to use poker to improve my being and my take on life. Admittingly I am now extremely pumped, but I know there will be setbacks and fallbacks, these I must overcome to evolve as a person. I have let a tilt hold me back for years, I will expose, and draw the life from my illusions. And become a purer me.
My workethic I imagined strong and I do study hard, but seeing how others proceed I deem it to weak.
DICIPLINE! is my new best friend.

Quick resume of my last year+, I was fortunate enough to be enrolled in the PokerDetox Coaching for profits. And it has been a fantastic experience with a genuinly caring, open, massivly supportive, intelligent, kind and professional staff. The content is mindblowing and I have learned so much.
I experienced a month of winning more then 10K$, but my mindset proved to weak and I am currently suspended. And it is very understandable, I was staked and did not display the correct mental stamina to be allowed to be rolled. Ironically I can say, knowing me and the state I could go into I would not have let me continue to play on my roll either :) ....but this is what I now have to do.
From the last year I have understood that I have deeper issues or tilts that I must expose and I am far from as cool collected, and intelligently conducting as I would like to, I am extremely emotionally driven.

So the goal of this journal is:

• insight into self thru correcting my flawed strategies as I discover them.
• emotional control.
• opinionate on books I read to help me along.
• form plans.
• display my confidence, poor or strong.
• create accountability.
• study.
• rewards.
• milestones.
• post graphs and HH.
• get to 200 nl as part 1 of the greater plan.
• be consistent.
• prove that I can beat 25 nl @ 10bb/100+ for more then 50k hands. .

I will start with 250h/hr and my goal is to reach 500h/hr. Minimum avrg 1000 h/day. I will attempt to evaluate my game systematically, and pick the lowest hanging fruit first.

My graph for my first 4k hands @ 25nl since deciding to take on my own challange.

This is a near tiltfree period of play and rungood. The main thing I am thinking about when judging my play here is if my opponents would commit the same mistakes/make better plays when seats are swopped. And in honesty I can say that I proved to my self that some hands where I think " I am the shit!" when I win, I make the same "shit" plays as the loosing villain when I am the the loosing villain :). Reciprocality is a concept I am keeping close to mind whilst playing. I can not say my style is pokerdetox, because I did not master it. But it is my take on inchworm strategy towards it. In time I hope to be part of pokerdetox again.

Book recommended by friend in PD that I am reading."Dicipline equals freedom". Clear military jargong and very simplified approach to problems, but I can differentiate the bull from the gold and it is certainly motivating.

Until next entry. Good luck @ttbls!