Hey RIO,

I'm starting this journal to keep myself accountable, discuss hands and to monitor my progress. Largely a FF/Zoom micro stakes cash player. Looking to learn this game that I have come to love and grind my way up the stakes.

Background:
I currently work full time in Finance. I moved into this career a few years ago however prior to that I had been working as a Strength & Conditioning coach in professional sport. Quite the career change, which I made for a number of reasons that I won't bore you with here. Since making the change, I have missed being involved in a competitive endeavour and have been searching for something to fill the void.

I have been playing poker for about 10 years for fun and have had little to no success. I usually build up a small roll, get the inevitable smack in the face from variance and either tilt off or withdraw what's left on my account (Usually tilt it off). Lately, I have been taking the game more seriously, studying and analysing hands and trying to work on my mental game. After yet another tantrum, in which I dusted off what was left of my small roll, I took a bit of a break to reflect on my approach. There are a number of hard truths that I had to face and that I plan to address over the coming months.

Hard Truths:

1. No amount of theoretical study is going to make up for the major leak that is my mental game
The same thing happens over and over again. I steadily build up a roll, hit a patch of variance and can't handle it. Variance is never going to change so I am going to have to implement some changes in order to handle the variance and my mindset when playing.

2. You are not as good as you think you are
Sometimes I feel like I am running over the tables when I am playing. I can have quite a good grasp on an opponents range and often feel like I put opponents in spots where they can never call but inevitably they do. I used to put it down to my opponets being dreadful players and calling off light. However, I am just wrong here. I am massively over bluffing in every session because I think I can out think every opponent.

3. You are not putting in the work that is required
For the last number of weeks, I have set study and playing goals. Every week, my volume of play increases and the volume of study decreases. I watched a video recently Pete Clarke made and he made one very clear point that has stuck with me. Playing huge volume with a low win rate is just non sensical. While I am learning, I need to put more time in off the felt in order to progress.

4. Playing without your full focus is highly arrogant
I can often throw up 4 tables and play while only kind of engaged in what I am doing. Not thinking things through, clicking buttons with one eye on the other screen scrolling the internet or monitoring my phone. It's really arrogant to expect to be a winning player when you're barely concentrating on the game.

5. Focusing on the results of each session is destroying your game
I can often check my results every few minutes in game. Checking the cashiers tab to see if I am up or down constantly. It's impossible to concentrate and focus on the game if you are constantly focusing on short term profit/loss.

Plan:
I am fortunate enough to be in the position that I have money outside of poker to rely on. Obviously the rake is very high at the microstakes however, I am not good enough to play higher yet. So my plan is to deposit $200 and play 5nl at the outset. I will be playing on Party Poker. While I can't use a HUD which is not ideal, the rake back and leader board bonuses are worth it vs playing on Stars. If I can improve and build a small roll, I may deposit further to play slightly higher. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself and I want to use 5nl as my training ground. Until I am confident in my ability to control my emotions and improve from a theoretical stand point, I will be grinding 5nl and will take shots at the higher stakes when I can.

I am not setting any volume goals for playing as I want the freedom to stop if I feel I am playing poorly. However, I will set weekly goals for studying. I will start small and build from there. I can often set far too ambitious goals and get nowhere close to completing them. I am also finishing a Masters at the moment which will take up some of my time outside of work. My other goals are going to be process oriented.

Week 1 Goals:
1. Meditate prior to each session (I try to meditate most days, but I can often rush to play and ignore this)
2. 10 min break after 2 bad beats in quick succession - My tilt usually comes after experiencing a number of bad beats in quick succession.
3. For every river decision, take your hand off the mouse - This is probably not very realistic for every single river decision, but I want to have it in the back of my mind. I am often guilty of making instant river decisions having 'made up my mind' on the turn about what I am going to do. This leads me to either bluff off my stack on a card that is really good for the opponents range or I miss value by picking a poor bet sizing.
4. 4 Buy In stop/loss
5. 4 Hours study this week - Using GTO+ and Watching training videos - I don't know how I am going to structure this just yet. Going to put some thought into this over the coming dayss
6. Check results only at the end of a session - I know this isn't ideal either, but jumping from checking every few minutes to only checking results once a week/month is too big a stretch for me. I will hopefully increase the length over the course of the next few months.

I'm aware this is a lengthy first post. Going forward, they won't be as long! I am going to post after each session with an update on my goals and any progress I have made. I will likely do a weekly review as well.

Finally, I have seen from a lot of journals that most people incorporate exercise or have excercise and training goals in conjunction with their poker goals. Training has remained a big part of my life since leaving the world of strength and conditioning. As my poker knowledge is probably not good enough to provide any real value to the community just yet, I am happy to contribute by way of answering any questions related to training and nutrition. I have a Masters in Sports Performance and a number of other qualifications and experience in the area. While I will endeavour to contribute and become involved in the forums, this is an area that I could hopefully provide some value in if people are interested.

GL at the tables!