I just bring my girlfriend to the hospital for the induction of childbirth and while i'm waiting i decided to start this Journal. I used to do blogs in the past here and there and i think is really usefull also if i'm not able to be costant in this.
First of all: sorry for my English, that's not my native language and there will be a lot of mistakes everywhere!
Who is writing this journal?
I'm a poker player since 2005, i always played for fun, i wasn't able to recognize that with study poker would be really remunerative so i practise it as an hobby for the first 10 years, learning stuff on forums, and in 2015 i tried to do it as a career but due to lack of discipline and some real life bankroll bad management i had to return to 9 to 5 job.
I learned a lot living that journey and also if i'm going for 36, i don't give up cause i 'm still in love with this world, so is never too late!
I never been a losing player (except at the really beginning when i charged some money, spew them away, and repeat next week) but i never did that passage where you take it seriously and bring it to the next level, i was just happy that way, focusing more on having fun with friends to be honest. So looking at the bigger picture this is not even a regret, cause who knows where it would take me to become a professional in my 20's. Maybe would have spent all my time at the computer, and then become full of money but with my 20's wasted in front of a monitor. Maybe i wasn't ready for that, i know my stupid self of the past so i could be not be here anymore.
So the first big lesson that i learned is to not look at the single episodes, don't judge them cause you never know where they can bring you.
So during my years as a professional (3 years exactly) i was an mtt player, but last year i decided to try cash game again (it was my first love) and i enjoyed it a lot.
Logically i knew that but my subconscious was not of the same idea. after a big upswing, i started to focus more on winnings, i was scared to lose money, i started every session with fear, i tilted when i didn't knew exactly what to do (and in poker is really hard to be 100% sure about something). In few words my mindset was not my friend anymore but my biggest enemy.
I think was also cause in the meanwhile i moved with gf, covid arrived, i start a new job, we had to buy forniture for the house, we was preparing for the baby to come, so a lot was going on and i was not taking poker as i would.
These are my results
Cash game since i started last year (you can see where my mindset start to crush)
So here i am, waiting for my first child, really scared, hoping that everything will be ok for her and him, and also try to focus on improving my attitude toward life and a big passion that is called texas hold'em!
So what i think is really key are details. when i do something i need to put 200% of my focus int it. Warm up should be done everytime. No distraciton while playing, taking time during decision, and in every hand think about what could be the +ev line.
Far from the table, workout, good sleep, good diet, and more stuff that helped me in the past like cold showers, breathing exercises and meditation.
Now i'm coming from long time eating junk, no workout and bad played poker so this journal will help me to keep my like in order or i hope so!
In the last 2 weeks i decided to not play to stay more and help my gf, focusing more on studing, but soon i will return at the table and i'm really pumped.
I hope i wrote everything, probably is confused cause i write down everything in one shot but who cares.
Have a great sunday guys!