My Pokertracker trial expired, waiting for next cashout to purchase it.
I will share with you a current problem I have though. I cannot stop playing Spin and GO's. I am down 8k this year playing them which is a large amount for me. I think I feel I'm so stuck i'm trying to win it back and recover my losses. The smart thing to do would to just stop them completely but I can't seem to do it. Gambling...it's like playing slots...
Dec. 12, 2018 | 6:25 p.m.
Hey Yoda thanks for the Feedback. Especially this is anonymous, I find it very useful. I think you are right about the "unhealthy entitlement". Basically I use to be a crusher who fell behind the curve, and lost my mental game and started becoming an addicted degen. I somehow feel I am owed to what I use to earn without putting in the work required to beat today's game. Today's game is an entirely different beast than 2008's game. I think you hit the nail on the head about entering that "flow" and being in it for too long and too short. I think my mental game is really weak, always has been. Tomorrow I start grinding again, took a break today. The play has definitely affected my relationship with my fiance for the worse. We have gotten into two disagreements since I started this grind. I feel I am a lot more short tempered and am using my short term earnings as justifications of neglecting her. I need to figure that one out. Also upcoming expenses...GL all I will follow your journal.
Dec. 9, 2018 | 5:48 p.m.
BR = $1400 After rakeback
Highest point was $2400 after rakeback. Down money in spin and goes. Are they even profitable? Had a 40 buy in downswing yesterday. It was insane. I moved up a bit. Need to re-calibrate. Volume is good but experiencing burnout.
Dec. 9, 2018 | 10:11 a.m.
There was a lot of panic involved. Unfortunately I put myself in a must win situation. Every line/decision matters. Lots of doubt and fear during the downswing. Taking breaks every 2 hours helps a lot. Not sure if this is allowed but raketherake.com gives any of you an extra 20% for new accounts. Please pm me and use my referral code( is this allowed? lol). The RB comes out to like 60% on party for you aspiring players but the raketherake is for new accounts or docile accounts for a year. If you already have a party, you can sign for bwin etc. Obviously I'm going to be playing on RIO new site too when it comes out, just information to help any of you aspiring grinders.
I'm running above EV so I shouldn't get ahead of myself. Right now I have to play 7k hands a day roughly to meet my targets. The main thing is improving every line/decision and thought process. glgl. Inspiration is LinusLLoves's old threads lol. gl all.
Dec. 1, 2018 | 8:24 a.m.
Br at $1140 including RB. You know not playing enough is one thing but over plalying so much 15 hours a day is counter productive also. Every decision matters. My mind is so numb right now. head hurts. eyes hurt because I'm on this cheap monitor. Need to do errands for tomorrow. I hope i make it!. Become a run it once twitch streamer! lol! 100+ RB!!
Nov. 28, 2018 | 8:15 p.m.
I think it all went wrong when I stopped being honest with myself and gave into sins. Funny how the ego lies to yourself to protect your mistakes and everything comes full circle. These lies really effect your poker game and decision making. Say you have a habit of lying, so you think everyone's lying, so on the felt you think he's lying so you become a calling station fish! lol. Always be honest with yourself and try to do the right thing.
I use to play 1k buy ins 10 years ago now i'm just a rakeback grinding fish at micro stakes. The game passed me by. I'm trying to be a winner again.
Nov. 28, 2018 | 7:30 a.m.
Not sure how to start this. Would prefer to stay Anon. Long time Grinder. Many low six fig swings, boom and bust cycles and gambling and degen stories. Hopped in and out of many states of minds from professional grinder with good habits to full blow degen on drugs and hookers. Constant progression and regression. ALOT of pain and shame. So much so I don't want to go in detail and keep it strictly poker. With that said, the journey stars again tomorrow at 25NL on BWIN/PARTY. Seems to be something there with rakeback and also looking forward to the upcoming RIO website. I'm all for sustainability and the love of the game.
Asides from the technical aspects of the game the 3 things I want to focus on are :
RISK MANAGEMENT(1-2% buy in max)
LIFE BALANCE (being able to mentally separate my deg en self from the game and focus on things much more important than money.)
I'll try to keep it technical on here and read that "Journaling" is a good form of therapy. The biggest difference between who I am now and me 10 years ago is that I have a life long partner and my mom passed 2 years ago. I literally have degen ran up six fig bankrolls a few times and I really want to break that habit. Good luck to us.
Nov. 25, 2018 | 4:48 p.m.
Honestly as someone who's been through the same, I feel deep down inside we know the answers. I just want to reinforce the fundamentals you spoke of. BRM is an absolutely important one. As a professional you should not want to swing more than 5% maybe 10% on freak days. We've all experience how much of a role confidence plays, proper BRM keeps your brain from going nuts and helps keep you confident. It also keeps you in the game so you can hone your skills. Other fundamentals are healthy sleeping patterns, diet(5 veggies a day) and exercise(cardio 30-45 mn minimum). As far as poker mechanics, you have it covered with this site, you just got to tough it out. But from my experience from my long downswings(and I mean LONG as in years..) there were some huge leaks in my game that I just grouped into a "it's just variance, when will the badrun stop." I think anytime you hit a 15-20 buy in downswing, alarms should go off and you should rework your foundation. Good luck man, all poker players go through the same feelings, it's all perspective. What's the world to us might just be a big blind for another's situation, somewhere else.(hopefully our future selves.) Last thing I wanted to add was these feelings are healthy and will help motivate you to find a way. It's when you stop caring and become zombied out that's when things are dangerous...
Dec. 13, 2013 | 7:13 p.m.
2nd with James Obsts. Biggest difference to me is stack leveraging. You need to always go for the win since a top 3 payout is what increases your ROI. When I played tournaments seriously I won like 1/100 tournaments and always pushed small edges where I may have fold equity and always tried to force my opponents to flip for stacks. Take what I say with a grain of salt as my tournament game and results are outdated. I would say Obst's approach is most optimal.
Dec. 13, 2013 | 6:56 p.m.
What Dialing said. I did assume we were talking in terms as a professional.
Dec. 13, 2013 | 6:51 p.m.
It all depends on your threshold. For me personally, I've made numerous gains on my bankroll multiple times taking shots only to lose it back. I'd say risk no more than 5% of your bankroll max. Keep your sessions short and focused to build confidence. It's the same game just with players that MIGHT be better. It really sounds like it's the dollar amount that's bothering you so I'd probably take about half the bankroll risk you are taking currently.
Dec. 13, 2013 | 6:09 p.m.
I think you should spend time learning the fundamental game theory concepts that apply to all games first.(GTO, toy gaming). After that you should just pick the discipline that you're most passionate about. You're #1 priority IMO should be plugging up any bankroll leaks.(100 buy-in minimum for most.)
Dec. 13, 2013 | 5:59 p.m.
I too started playing online poker around 2005. I remember reading empiremaker's post about needing 100 buy ins for 5/10. I thought this was too much. After a 9 year career and busting 3-4 6 figure bankrolls I realized, you actually do need at least 100 buy-ins.(Unless if you're a genius and apply the Kelly formula correctly every single time. But then again if you were a genius, you wouldn't be asking for advice.)
Dec. 13, 2013 | 5:54 p.m.
I've been reading about different bankroll requirements for Pot-Limit Omaha. What is the general consensus for a full time heads up Omaha player. I currently use a requirement of 50x-200x buy-in real depending on what I think my edge is and my mind state. Should I be concerned when using just a 50x buy in rule? Thanks.