Even if my life continue to going forward it lacks of direction clearly. I don't wake up with a burning fire inside me, at least, not anymore.
Unfortuntaly, poker is an extremely lonely activity and sometimes it is very harsh to acknowledge the fact you are you against the world.
I was staked before and it was better, from a psychological perspective. People cared about your performance and poker wasn't lonely as now.
What I really miss is the feeling of being part of something bigger than me. A team which strive with you to achieve a greater good.
I hope Nick will open up CFP again in order to apply and win a spot eventually.
Anyway, there's no point on focus on things I can't control.
I gotta move my ass, fast
April 11, 2019 | 7:48 a.m.
That you are 100% right and I'm aware of that. What I do with these apps is to apply a patch, while the underlying issue will and still be there if not addressed.
Right now, my priority is get things done and these apps help, but yeah in the long run, they won't help me with the lack of motivation.
Well, every day seems exactly the same as before so it's hard to find motivation. Also, Play for years the same stake don't help. But I'm confident that I will fix that, not just parch it
March 23, 2019 | 7:59 p.m.
From 3/18 to 3/20
Results from the start of the blog
I'm running pretty good, probably the blog bring some luck on me
Villain is an non-believer
Limp-3Bet and call OTT for pure value
Epic cooler vs an extremely aggro reg
Regarding my poker study routine, as you can see below I made a roadmap, where basically I have to complete a step in order to work on the next one. This should help me a lot, since I get lost many many times
Well, FocusMe is really great, it bans browsers and messaging apps and allows me to fully focus on the task at hand. However, I've encountered another issue, ok I cannot waste my time on browsers, but I can open up my download folder and watch some Rick and Morty episode or just procrastinate on whatever I got.
Problem solved, I've moved, my entire download folder, into another HHD. This disk is removable, so I've just hid it in my other house. Let's see how it works
I haven't sticked to my routines as much as I should and as much I did in the past. A few couple issues arrised.
When I eat, I became somewhat sluggish and unwilling to do things. I don't know whether this is just laziness or procrastination or a real problem because I eat too much. I'll try a quick solution and go from there.
I have to study one unit of english grammar book, each time after meals, but I didn't do it once. For now, I will simply just relax on the couch while study a bit of english.
Regarding blogging, well, I didn't blogged for 2 days in a row, the reason is that, I play a lot and when I finish my last session I'm quite tired. The only thing I want to do is to stand up and relax. Probably, I will move my blog writing from my prebed routine to another time in the day
March 21, 2019 | 12:32 a.m.
Today was a very slow and unproductive day. I woke up late, I didn’t complete my routines and I didn’t play as much as I should.
Beside that, I’m really glad that a new app, FocusMe, is what I’ve looked for a very long time. I just set up a timeframe which any distraction is banned and I cannot get around it, love it.
Right now I force myself to use my phone only in specific timeframes, and in order to get max results, I hide it and make it difficult to reach. Right now it works really well so I don’t waste my time surfing random s**t.
When I will buy the new phone, I will install FocusMe on Android, so instead of hide my phone, I can use it without any browsing, social or messaging app.
I’ve developed a PT4 replayer deck, maybe developed is an overkill, it’s just a modification of the default one. If someone is interested in it, just post here or drop me a PM and I will deliver.
Today, I’ve visited my gradma tombstone, it was touching. Probably, that woman saved my life, literally. When she died I visited daily the graveyard for about one year, never skipping one single day. It was a strong urge and it never felt like a burden, but a pleasure. Ty grandma
Let’s say today was my day off, but tomorrow I’ll resume my regular grind at the tables and in life.
March 17, 2019 | 8:45 p.m.
Today was a good day at the tables.
Epic misread of my hand, I thought I had AK... I've realized it when I won the pot and I didn't understand why
Micros aren't beatable (limped AK due to SB aggro monkey, but surprisingly he didn't enter the pot )
I don't have much more to add beside that I'm still wasting a lot of time when I'm in front of the screen. I've built some AHK scripts that in the past helped me preventig distractions, but now I disable them to browse random things.
Tomorrow I'm going install FocusMe, a 3rd party tool that should ban all my distractions. Let's see whether it works
March 17, 2019 | 1:07 a.m.
MP: $25.00 (Hero)
March 16, 2019 | 11:47 a.m.
Above you can see my spreadsheet to track my daily activities... I gotta tweak it a little bit, since I got some issues tracking poker study time, so at the end of the day, it logs less poker related time
I'm pretty happy that I've completed my 'cellphone ban' routine. Basically, I'm quite addicted to glue my eyes on my phone, without doing anything actually. I just browse random junk and I squander my time. I acknowledge my willpower isn't that great, so I decided to hide my phone at certain timeframes:
- from after breakfast to early afternoon
- when I go to the library and/or gym
- when I return to home till bed time
It seems quite isolating but it isn't actually. I'm focusing on myself and since I'm in a huge mess, there's no point to waste any more time.
I've found this article quite insighful
I'm definitely not happy with my poker. I'm not allocating the right time to my work. Basically, I procrastinate a lot, probably because of my fear of failure. Dunno exactly, but it is clear that something scares me. Probably I also think I'm not strategically prepared enough to beat higher levels
March 16, 2019 | 12:52 a.m.
My life is stucked since many many years. Yes, I had and I have huge issues on many layers but let's face it; I cannot do anything but accept responsibility of my own soul. Right now, my life is a total trainwreck, I got an unknown physical disease that haunt me every single day preventing me to enjoy life. I also have psychological problems due my troublesome upbringing. My financial situation is abysmal, pretty much, I barely survive.
I've made a lot of errors in my life, but I've always mantained the hope and the willingness to bust my ass off. My psychoterapist told me that it is a real miracle that I'm still alive even if I had the deck stacked against me. I play micros for a very long time, that I'm ashamed of myself. Basically, I've cashout every single month and I haven't allowed my bankroll to flourish. I think I've logged more than 3M hands at NL25.
Many years ago I had dreams, I had expectations and ambitions but they are dimmed now. The hope and the willingness to work is still there but what I see is a big steep road ahead, well, maybe it's more like a vertical wall than an clear walkable path. I struggle because I feel I got unexpressed potential and the time is passing. Right now in my early 30s I gotta do something. Sometimes, my future seems bright, while other times it is daunting.
Poker is still my best option if I want to escape the rat race, but I have to tackle it in a different way. If I keep doing the same things as I did in the last years, chances are my past will become my future.
I got a lot to recall, but I will do as the post rolls by. For now, every day I want to make a post. Everyday, I will post write for about 20 minutes about my day, what can I improve, what errors I've made and hopefully some lifechanging breaktrough. I don't expect to become popular, I'd just like one day, to look back and see how far I went.
I Hope you the best for your life
March 16, 2019 | 12:50 a.m.
This is a recreational player but i dont have very info abou him
This should make leaning toward calling, since he's a rec
I decide ck-b F with middle and good kicker, in the Turn i decided
raise because he have very Ax on range and i dont believe he folds a A
If your assumptions are right, you should def raise bigger
March 8, 2019 | 11:28 a.m.
In this spot I would look at 'stab river vs missed cbet' and go from there.
You probably have a somewhat low sample size so you can look at 'stab vs missed cbet' in general.
It really depends whether villain is capable of bluffing on this texture... basically, if he never bluffs, you are better off bet yourself and hope to get called
March 5, 2019 | 11:56 a.m.
A not-so-smart reg chose this line and even if I called in game, probably I would find a fold with worse Qx.
This line is a very strange one, and because of this I've wondered if we can use in our own game to confuse opponents.
What do you think?
March 3, 2019 | 12:38 p.m.
By any chance is this RIO poker :D? Personally I actually prefer
playing without a HUD, as it forces me to consciously think about my
ranges in different spots and play a more fundamentally sound game,
rather than clicking buttons based on a stat on my HUD. I'm not saying
they are not useful, they definitely are, but it's easy to get in the
mindset of 'oh villain folds x perfect of 3bets so I'll just 3b" or
other decisions based on random stats that without a huge sample size
don't really matter.
This is so spot on.
Many many times I rely too much on stats that my fundamental game suffers, a ton. At the same time, without the HUD I would feel kinda naked :D.
Feb. 28, 2019 | 11:41 a.m.
X/r is tempting ofc, but you should have some decent info for do that.
Ok, BTN seems a huge fish even on a small sample size, but maybe he's aggressive preflop and passive postflop. You don't know, yet.
I would go with population tendecies here, especially at those stakes where people tend more to call than to bet themselves.
You can capitalize the times he folds and you should improve a lot of the times with your hand vs his large range.
Regarding the actual hand you posted, I'm a bit confused since we are a little deeper. In this spot I leaning toward the passive line but I'm a fish, so meh
Feb. 28, 2019 | 11:36 a.m.
BTN seems a loose fish
BTN: 164.59 BB (VPIP: 42.86, PFR: 35.71, 3Bet Preflop: 33.33, Hands: 15)
Why don't you just capitalize on FE here given the fact the fish should have a lot of marginal holdings. I think x/r is far superior than x/c vs this player.