I struggled for a long time. I had "made it". This was it? I felt empty. Now what?
Then there were the times when I thought I would never make it -- while enduring long downswings.
I was experiencing pain -- both physical and emotional -- frustration, anger, fear, doubt, and at the peak of it all, I felt despair and depression. A few bouts with depression, but they were not that bad if I compared them to the stories of others. Then in the valley of valleys I was thinking about killing myself everyday. In fact, my days started, ended, and were filled with thinking of a way out, of thinking how I would do it, which way would hurt the least?
It was probably 5 years ago when I realized I wanted more then poker. I am scared even to list all the things I have tried -- because some of them are so cringe-worthy. Which, I guess means there is still some healing, acceptance, self-love and forgiveness I need to process.
I am now in a place I didn't know existed. And I love this place.
One of my goals for 2018 is to connect, contribute, and give back to the poker community. The RIO community has given me so much and I would love to help make this place even better. A lot of work is going on behind the scenes. I cannot wait to share it.
For now I have one question: is there any interest in content that is directed towards transitioning from poker to business? Whether you want to make that leap in 2018 or 3-5 years from now I believe I can help out, even if just a little bit.
Thanks for reading. I would love to hear from you.