Hi and sorry, but I just need to get this out of my chest. I am having severe rage tilt "attack" as we speak. I feel like my head is going to explode and I can actually physically feel my ears getting super hot and ringing.
I'm an online nl200 regular, taking shots to nl500, and trying to beat the stakes and move up, but I feel like I am keeping myself from reaching my full potential because I get these huge raging tilts. I do it all to try to manage the tilt... meditate, exercise, socialize etc etc. I listen to Elliot Roe's MP3s and I've read the Jared Tendler books etc. I even went to see a psychologist for a few months this year to talk about this rage problem. I just don't feel like I have the tools to shake these massive feelings of rage when I run bad and play bad. In a word, I feel like a complete loser/fish.
I have come as far as recognizing feelings that trigger tilt such as shame (bad play and feeling ashamed in showdown), unworthiness (I am not smart enough to be great poker player) or feeling that I am not being capable to "out maneuver regs" or playing "gto/balanced" (Not theoretically knowledged and/or capable of coming up with good exploits ingame).
Now I GET EVEN WORSE tilts, because I can't keep myself from having these tilting feelings and I am painfully aware why I'm tilting but can't stop and then I'm basically tilting because I'm tilting. Sounds crazy? Tell me about it.
It's coming to a point that I feel like someone with this severe tilt problems isn't ever able to overcomeo them. And this thought has haunted me for months now, and this is actually why I wrote this rant and wanted to ask you RIO members: Do you have a story that would inspire me to overcome these problems? Or do you know anyone who has overcome tilting? Any advice/inspiration/consolation would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.