lotgrinder

My response to an aspiring poker pro asking, “What are the top three aspects one should master to be successful at live poker?”

1)Making Sure You Get Max Value From Your Opponents.

Most of our earnings at $1/$2 NLHE come from our ability to extract value from our opponents often inferior holdings or second best hands. Therefore, you need to constantly be thinking about what your opponent is check/calling you with and betting 75% all the way up to infinity % of the pot on each street when you know you are ahead. You also need to identify the spots where there could be $75 in the pot, but you can bet $400 at it because you’re in the pot with one of the fish that will call $400 with just an eight in his hand on a 7d 6d 5s 4s 3c run out, when you’re holding 89.

You’re an idiot if you’re spending a bunch of time thinking about 3-betting light, floating, bluffing, balancing your raising range from all positions, etc, because even if you become a master at all the other things, I’d still argue 80%+ of the $$$ you bring in is going to come from knowing how to get max value of all your premium hands. You do not have to worry about learning how to win with inferior ones to be successful at this low of stakes. You have to learn how to fold them.

Which brings me to…..

2)Making Sure Your Opponents Do Not Get Max Value From You.

Most of the money we lose when we play should come from our opponents getting lucky and drawing out on us when we’re value betting our superior holdings relentlessly. So, all the inferior hands we see our opponents paying us off with when they check/call all the way down we need to be folding pre-flop so we don’t even start the bleeding process. It does not take a rocket scientist to see how most of the fish at the table lose money at $1/$2-$1/$3 NLHE. You should always be thinking of how your game is going to be different than theirs and making 100% sure that you’re not making the same mistakes you see them making all the time.

Also, you need to quickly classify the players in your room into two categories. One where the players are capable of 3-betting more than just QQ+ and AK as well as check-raising and re-raising draws or bluffing. The other where the players are incapable of 3-betting anything other than QQ+ and Ak and also incapable of check-raising or re-raising with draws or bluffing. Most players lose their entire stacks on the flop, turn, or river when they call unsophisticated players big check-raises or re-raises with top pair, over-pair, or obvious second best hands that are beat by two pair, sets, flushes, straights or full houses. you won’t be making these same mistakes because you’ll know who to fold your hand to and who you’ll have to call to make sure they have it in certain situations. You’ll also get so good that you’ll be able to fold king high flushes, non nut straights, and even smaller full houses to some players because some players will absolutely never get aggressive until they have the stone cold nuts!!!!

So, by paying lots of attention to #1, you’ll be extracting more value from your opponents than most your opposition. By paying attention to #2, you’ll be making sure that the very least amount of value is extracted from you because you’ll already know what kind of second best hands should be folded pre-flop before any trouble situations arise and you’ll know what players you can fold your premium holdings to when you start to face check-raising or re-raising aggression. Which in turn, will also assure you that you’ll be losing less than your opponents when you’re put into situations where your hands are no good. Did you see me mention anything about you needing to find the ability to make big folds against competent/good players? No, that’s right. You didn’t. Because you don’t need to, you simply need to learn how to fold your hand when you’re beat by unsophisticated villains if you’d like to play $1/$2-$1/$3 NLHE for a living.

3) Game Management

You need to constantly be aware of if you are on your A-game, B-game, or C-game while you’re at the table. You need to constantly be accessing what type of game you’re sitting in. Are the conditions great, good, average, declining or bad? Is the shift you are playing the optimal shift for making the most money on the day or night you’re playing? If the day shift is full of NITs, overly tight regs, and a bunch of weak passives buying in for table minimums, maybe you need to switch to the night shift where the entire player pool at your level is just full of easier money to be won. How are you feeling before you go play poker? Are you tired? Did you eat too much and feel sluggish, full? Do you have a date with a girl lined up for 10pm? If you lose $300 before you see her are you going to be in a bad mood or fixated on losing the $300 when you hang out with her?

You need to constantly be analyzing all of the above and making sure you’re showing up to play in an A-mood, during the prime time A-shift, sitting yourself at the A-table, where you can bring your A-game for as long as you can. Then you also have to use your “Game Management” skills to decide when you’re no longer on your A-game or now sitting in a C or D game or now up $400 after six hours and in a good game, but you know if you lose that $400 you’re going to be in a E mood for that date at 9pm with your girl. You do not want to be setting yourself up to be the guy that was up $400, kept playing after the three big fish left, got your chips all in on an open end straight flush draw, lost the $400, and now you’re going to set in a game where the three fish were replaced by two competent players and a NIT. Avoiding situations like the above is what I call “Game Management” skills and if I were to stake a player I’d rather have one that has mastered the art of “Game Management” than one who has mastered things like 3-betting light, floating, balancing his range, bluffing, stealing from the blinds, etc, etc at the $1/$2-$1/$3 NLHE level.

Hope that all helps.

(Topics Addressed: Player Types/Tendencies, Common Post Flop Betting Lines, Why Most Players Fail,Controlling Tilt/Emotions/Mental Game, Flop Play/Strategy, 65 Big Blind Strategy, Table Selection, Bankroll Management, When To Cash Out, Betting For Value, Our Raising Range and Raise sizing.)

Sessions: #1

Game Selection: $1/$2 NLHE.

Buy In Amount: $135.

Bankroll: $2,000.00

Range Of Hands We Will Be Playing:

Raise from EP and Blinds:
AA, KK, QQ, JJ, 1010, AK, AQ.

Raise from MP:
99, AJ, KQ.

Raise from LP:
A10, KJ, QJ.

Limp from EP:
88,77,66,55,44,33,22, K10s, Q10s, J10s

Limp from MP/LP:
109s, 98s, 87s, 76s

Note:

If game is active and has lots of raising going on, reduce your limp range to just pocket pairs, and call all raises up to $20 to try and spike a set. If game is super passive you can open your range a little, but you don’t have to, as long as you stick to the starting hand ranges above, stay patient, make disciplined folds, and do not tilt you will consistently be getting your money all in with the best of it.

Goal:

To make the best overall poker decision in every hand and in every spot, which should allow us to take our $135 stack and run it up to $400 because that essentially adds two more buy-ins to our $2,000.00 bankroll.

Remember, if you’re starting this venture with only $2,000.00, running bad, feel you’re not going to be on your A game, or think you’re up against a lot of good competition, it is always ok to buy in for sixty five big blinds.

This method simplifies the game and reduces variance. Sure, many wanna-be “pros” might roll their eyes at you and lots of advice columns you read may recommend that you buy in full. But, f*ck them. They are not operating in your reality. They are the same people that will go broke at $2/$5 NLHE or higher levels after they refuse to move down in stakes when variance catches up with them or when they find out they were really just a fish on a heater. There is no need to buy in full until you’ve mastered this sixty five big blind buy-in method I am about to demonstrate for you and are 100% sure you can make all the folds I talked about in my first edition of “Tales From The Poker Room.”

You’re also going to see some folds from me in these sessions that will leave your average article writer scratching his or her head. But, sometimes poker is not only about the actual math in the hand. It’s also about avoiding coin flip situations that can lead to tilt, hitting your stop-loss for the day, or depleting your big stack when you want it as big as possible because you’ve got a few droolers at your table that you’re looking to double through.

Now onto the session….

We sit down in seat six and after folding the first twenty hands or so we are pretty certain there is only one player that the table capable of check raise or re-raise semi- bluffing or 3-betting light. He is well built, looks to be around the age of 45, and of Mediterranean descent. On top of all that, he seems to take being raised, check-raised, or 3-bet pretty personal as we just seen him open for $12, get 3-bet to $45, and then shove all in for $220 to double up when his pocket fours held against a young villains Ace/King.

When in bankroll building mode and just starting out playing live $1/$2-$1/$3 NLHE what you will want to do is quickly identify the opponents sitting at your table that will not be playing their hands face up against you. Any opponents you witness raising, 3-betting or 4-betting light, check-raise semi-bluffing or re-raise semi-bluffing, floating and repping scare cards, or just outright stone cold bluffing are ones you are going to want to remember. They’ll be bad ones you will love to play against and competent ones you will want to avoid playing against. But, it’s important to remember their faces and their tendencies because only these players, complete maniacs, and unpredictable droolers can complicate the game for you.

Please keep in mind at all times that you need to actually see proof that someone is capable of making the plays I listed above. Just because you or the entire table thinks someone is getting out of line does not mean $hit. Wait for someone else to play sheriff and make him turn his cards over before you classify him as someone capable of getting out of line or making well timed sophisticated moves to steal pots.

Also note, that at $1-$2/$1-$3 NLHE you can often find a table full of nits, weak passives, and bad overly tight TAG regulars where every hand they play against you will be face up. There is no shame in consistently seeking out a table like this in order to reduce variance and alleviate stress while you’re in bankroll building mode.

Now onto the hands….

1. UTG, 55, l/f on flop. (-2)

Translation:
Under the gun, pocket fives, limped in, folded on flop when we did not hit set, and we lost $2.00.

2. MP, AQ, 2L, R$17, all fold. (+7)

*Translation: *
Middle position, Ace/Queen, 2 limpers, we raise to $17, all fold, and we win $7.00.

3. CO, QQ, 3L, R$17, all fold. (+9)
4. HJ, JJ, 2L, R$17, all fold. (+7)
5. MP, 44, l/f on flop. (-2)

6. HJ, KQ, 3L, R$15, 2C, flop comes out Jh 9h 6s, WP lady ships $100 all in, fold. (-15)

Translation:
Hi-Jack, King/Queen, 3 limpers, we raise to $15, flop comes out Jh 9h 6s, weak passive lady ships all in for $100, we fold, and lose $15.

Notes:

Notice I dropped my raise sizing to $15. It is your responsibility to find the right raise sizing for every table you sit at. If you continually raise $17 and are getting no callers, then it’s your responsibility to recognize that an adjust your sizing down to $15. If that doesn’t work, then we lower our raise sizing down to $12. You want to find the proper raise sizing that’s going to get you two or three callers in each pot. If you continue to raise $15+ each time and never get called, you do not have a right to complain about how nitty the game was. You were the idiot for not finding the raise sizing sweet spot to continually get called in two to three spots in each hand.

Now, with that being said, if you are raising $15 and finding yourself getting called in five or six spots every time you play a hand, then it is also your responsibility to up your raise sizing to $17, then to $20, and if you email me and say, “But, Lotgrinder, this game just had so many morons, there was nothing I can do to, you know you can’t beat a table full of fish who just call all the time.” I will reply, “No, it’s you that was the fool, you should have upped your raise sizing to $23,$25, or $27 preflop and shoved all in on the flop every time you hit top pair or held an over-pair.

If you are sitting at a poker table there is no god damn good excuse as to why you couldn’t get action or as to why you were getting too much action. Find the raise sizing sweet spot and make sure you’re consistently playing pots against one, two, or three villains preferably. Also, if you’ve found your tables raising sweet spot is $7-$10, I recommend you change tables immediately.

7. OTB, As3s, UTG fish w $65 stack makes pot sweetener raise to $7, 4c, CR, fold flop.(-7)

Translation:

On the button, Ace/Three Suited, Under the gun fish makes a pot sweetener raise to $7, 4 callers by the time it gets to us, we elect to call raise, and fold flop when we miss, we lose $7.

Notes:

Yes, I know. This seems to be a really good spot to attempt to put in a 3-bet in an effort to scoop up a quick $35. It’s a spot that would leave a lot of players who have played online or “Beat By Dre Wanna Be Pros” drooling all over the poker table thinking, “Time to 3-bet, if anyone had a hand like 99+ or AJ+ they would have surely re-raised.”

First of all, that is not the case. $1/$2-$1/$3 NLHE has gotten so passive that more and more players are just flatting pot sweetener type raises with hands like AQ, AJ, JJ, 1010,99. In addition, the original pre-flop raiser only has $65 back. If you do 3-bet here you have to size it to at least $35 in order to have a chance to make it through. A lot of times I’d argue even more. Also, keep in mind at least three times out of ten the original pre-flop fish raiser will just want to gambool with his $65 and shove it all in OR another five times out of ten he’ll call your $35 3-bet with the intention of check/folding any flop he misses and leaving himself $30 back. This $35 call will also usually create a waterfall effect and a couple others who called the original $7 raise will now call your $35 3-bet. So, now you’ll be involved in a big pot where even if you flop top pair and rip your remaining $100 or so all in on the flop, your Ace/3 kicker may still be beat.

There will be lots of times executing a 3-bet here will be correct. But, given stack sizes and the fact we are looking to build our bankroll with the least amount of variance possible, our hand is just a call here with hopes to flop an ace high flush draw in position.

8. SB, AK, Same fish makes it $7 again, 4c, 3B $130 all in, original raiser calls. (+70)

Translation:
Small blind, Ace/King, same fish makes a pot sweetener raise to $7, 4 callers, we decide to 3bet to $130 all in, original raiser calls with Js8s and our Ace/King holds up. We win $70 and are now sitting with $200.

Notes:

Great spot for us here, I’d have made this same move with 1010+,and A10+ 100% confident we are crushing the original raiser’s range. One thing I would also like to say before you go assuming that everyone who raises $7-$11 at $1/$2 or $1/$3 NLHE is always going show up with hands like 22-99 or some sort of weak suited connector, is there are some players who are really raising premium hands at those small of raise sizings because often times they are sitting with $75 or less. So, they are looking to raise $7-$11, get 3-4 callers, and then shove their overpairs all in or shove their top pairs all in when they have AJ+ or KQ. You also need to identify these players and be sure to never 3-bet them light because when they are below $100 and make what looks to be a “pot sweetener” raise with a mediocre hand holding, they really have a hand that they are more than happy to get all their money in with.

9. HJ, 88, 2L, NIT to our direct right (with $300) makes it $20, CR, 4 way pot, flop 6 4 2 rainbow, checks to nit, he bets $100, all fold. (-20)

Translation:
Hi Jack, 88, 2 limpers, NIT to our direct right with $300 makes it $20, we call raise, 2 others do as well so pot goes 4 ways, flop 6 4 2 rainbow, everyone check to NIT and he bets $100, we all fold.

Notes:

We love set mining against NITs whose raising range is JJ+ and AK. Every time we hit a set it’s an easy double up. We pretty much always fold to the nit post flop if we miss our set unless we establish history with him and can be sure every time he checks the flop he has A/K, then obviously we bet him off the hand. Or if the NIT bets 100% of pot when he has an overpair, but only something like 35% to 50% of the flop when he has AK. Keep in mind figuring out when to fold your pocket pairs to NITs on the flop and figuring out when to bet your pocket pairs because the NIT has A/K is not important if you’re looking to achieve a $25 a hour win rate at $1/$2. Only a small improvement in win rate can be obtained if you become a master at outplaying NITs on the flop when they were the pre-flop raiser.

10. MP2 9d8d, l/f on missed flop. (-2)
11. UTG2, 22, l/f on missed flop. (-2)
12. OTB, KK, 3L, R $15, all fold. (+9)

13. CO, JJ, 3L, R $15, 2 callers, flop Qc 10d 2h, weak passive lady ships all in for around $100. All fold. She says, “Good fold” and shows us she limped/called with AQ. (-15)

14. HJ, AJ, 3L, R $15, 2 callers, flop comes Jc 8c 7d, $45 in pot and weak passive reg leads out a $15 bet, we raise to $45, he calls very quickly. Turn is a 2h. He checks, we ship all in and he hastily folds. (+75)

Notes:

All limps to us by the time it gets to us in the hi-jack, we can be pretty sure AJ is the best hand so we raise it up to the $15 sweet spot we’ve found. We end up flopping top pair on the jack high board. But, were also facing a flush draw and straight draw. A lifetime losing rec reg lead $15 out into us which is also known as a “donk bet.” Donks are typically used by amateurs to “see where they are at” or to slow you down from c-betting strong on flops where they are just dying to see a turn card.

So, when we put in a $45 raise here and are called rather quickly we can be pretty certain our villain has some sort of flush draw or combo draw that he doesn’t want to go all in with, but definitely wants to see a turn with. If the villain re-raises us all and we’ve never seen him do so on a flush draw or straight draw we can confidently fold our top pair or over-pair. If we want to make sure he had us beat we can say, “Man, I folded pocket 10s there, did you have me beat?”

Most of the time they’ll tell you the truth or even show. A small amount of time they might flip something like King/Jack or Queen/Jack offsuit and that’s ok, you’ll be sure to note that villain is capable of spazzing off $200 (100 big blinds) with just top pair/good kicker. You’re not trying to play perfect. You’re just trying to make the best poker decision in every situation you encounter. You know from the first edition of “Tales From The Poker Room” that you made the best overall decision you could there.

Thankfully, we were not re-raised all in when we made it $45. So, even though the board looks kind of scary we can be pretty sure our Ace/Jack is the best hand here. When the 2h hits the turn it’s one of the safest cards for us, so now there’s two things that are going to happen. Either villain is going to check to let us know for sure our Jack is good or the villain is going unexpectedly spazz ship his chips all in and leave us feeling like we just got open hand smacked across the face.

Yep, that’s right. A lot of times villains at today’s $1/$2-$1/$3 NLHE tables are so scared of losing with a set, straight, or two pair they hit on the flop to a flush draw that hits on the turn they will often wait for the turn to brick before they go all in. I know, I know, I know the all in spazz ship on the turn when the 2h hits that changes absolutely nothing about the hand will confuse you. You’ll think, “What the f*ck, that line just doesn’t make any sense.” But, if all of a sudden a weak passive, tight, or nitty player just ships out $150 or more into a pot of $150 when a brick hits the turn after a flop that contains a flush draw. Yep, as much as it hurts to do so, you must fold your hand. Your top pair/top kicker or over-pair is simply no good.

Fortunately, in the spot we were in today villain checked the turn and we shipped all in to apply max pressure and if he wanted to chase his flush draw or straight draw he was getting absolutely despicable odds to do so.

15. SB, AK, UTG fish R$7, 3c, NIT to our direct right makes it $50, we fold.

Notes:

That’s right. NITs 3-bet QQ+ and AK. Super NITs only 3-bet KK and AA. If by some chance the NIT has QQ and we call, then flop a K or A the NIT is going to shut down. This is a fold every god damn time. If you find yourself shoving your stack in this spot you currently do not have what it takes to be a winning poker player. The only time we give NITs action is when we are set mining against them looking for an easy double up. You can fold AK and AQ to NITs over and over. It is not a big deal to fold that hand against them.

16. MP, 66, CR$12 to set mine, missed flop, fold. (-12)
17. OTB, Q10s, l/f on flop. (-2)

18. CO, A10, 4L, R$17, 2C, a NIT and Weak Passive, flop Ad 3d 6, both check, bet $35, NIT calls, turn Jd, NIT checks, we check, River 9c, NIT leads out $65, we fold. (-52)

Notes:

With four limps to us OTB we can be pretty sure our A10 is the best hand so we put in a $17 raise with hopes to scoop the $11 in dead money right there or get called by one or two players. We end up getting called by the nit and a weak passive, then flop top pair on a Ad 3d 6 board, and are checked to, after that we bet $35 and when the NIT calls an alarm bell in our head should go off. NITs are capable of limping AJ and AQ. So, there’s a very good chance we our A10 can be second best and any more betting with it could be considered value owning ourselves.

If that wasn’t enough to slow down on the turn, a flush card also came in. So, when the NIT checks, we are definitely checking back for pot control. The nine on the river is really a meaningless card, but it is followed with a $65 lead out bet from the nit, which is pretty much the final nail in our coffin. We end up folding our top pair/decent kicker because we strongly feel the nit flopped two pair, hit a flush draw, or had us beat the entire way with AQ or AJ. Nice job NIT, now go buy your grandkids something nice.

19. OTB, KK, Straddle Pot, $5 blinds, 1L, weak passive lady R$45 all in, folds to us OTB, we flat call, all others fold. (+50)

Notes:

The straddler was the Mediterranean man who was at the start of a sick heater. He had just ran his stack up to $500 with some questionable all in shoves when he got down to $100. I flatted the ladies $45 with the hopes he would do something crazy like shove all $500 again and say something like, “Well young man, lets see if you got the balls to call it. Lets see if you like to gamble.” The man had been sucked out on in a hand to dwindle him down to under a $100, then like I said started to donk around big time and get lucky. Sadly, he didn’t want to see if we had the balls to gamble with our KK. But, soon he would put our QQ to the test.

20.CO 9s7s l/f on flop. (-2)

21. HJ KhJh, 3L, R$17, 3C, brick flop, give up. (-17)
22. CO, AQ, 4L, R$20, 4C, brick flop, give up. (-20)

Notes:

Notice I upped my raise sizing? Mediterranean man has the table tilted so more and more players are starting to open up and gamboooooool!!!!!!! You must recognize this and adjust your raise sizing. Pay attention to the table dynamics.

23. CO, QQ, Mediterranean man has now been opening to $12 often and has ran his $100 stack up to over $600, 3C by the time it gets to us and we 3B it $100 which leaves us a little over $100 back. Folds to him and he announces, “All in.” All fold. I snap call before he can say, “Lets see if you have the balls to gamble young man.” Board runs out J J 4 2 6. Mediterranean man is polite and says, “I thought these were good the entire time, but I know they are now.” Smacks down pocket 6’s and we are now down $135 for the session.

Notes:

Don’t tilt in spots like these. We have been playing great up to this point and used our reads on table dynamics/players to get over $200 in the pot where we were around an 80% favorite. If we stick to our game we will find another opportunity to get our chips in as a huge favorite.

24. HJ, 55 C$12R from M.Man, 5 way pot, Ah 5c 4h, checks to NIT to my direct right who bets $35, I ship all in for $125, folds all the way around. (+80)

Shortly after this a kid sitting with $400 who just sat down at the table talks about introducing a if you win a hand with 7/2 offsuit everyone has to pay you $5 policy. This agreement seems to rile up the M. Man even more. Within a few hands the kid who introduced the policy opens to $15, M.Man 3-bets him to $100, the kid then shoves $400 all in and the M.man snap calls.

Flop runs out all rags and the kid quickly rolls AA, M.Man says, “I thought you were trying to run a 7/2 bluff on me,” and shows AJ offsuit. Now we’ve definitely got some steaming hot action. So, of course a few hands later I am dealt Ace/King and put to the test.

25. UTG, AK, R $15, 1C, gets to M.Man and he makes it $55, folds back around to me and I ship it all in there since he’s showed the ability to call off $400 with AJ. Sadly, this time he has a pocket pair (4s) and they hold. (-210)

Notes:

After this hand I am starting to tilt a little. So, I decide to take a quick walk and remember what coach Bobby Finstock from “Teen Wolf” taught me back in the 80’s. I think, “F**k. Maybe I been playing poker with a guy whose got the same first name of a city and this session has been doomed from the start.” But, when I get back to the table he assures me his name is some $hit I can’t pronounce and I start to feel better about the entire situation. So, I buy back in for another $135 and wait for the next +EV spot to get it all in. Thankfully, it doesn’t take too long to present itself.

26. CO, Ad9d, 4l, l/f flop. (-2)

Notes:

See how I didn’t raise there even though it was a good spot to do so to try and collect $11 in dead money? When playing on a limited bankroll we need to extend our sessions for as long as they can go on 3 buy-ins. ($450 is our stop loss) We do not want to put in a raise here and then a failed c-bet which would effectively end our session because we are not going to sit and grind on a $50-$100 stack. So. we simply call here in position and hope to flop an ace high flush draw (then get it all in if there’s some light betting action before us) or top pair (then bet 3/4 pot or pot when we are checked to.) Also note, you don’t even have to play this hand at all. There is absolutely nothing wrong with folding it. In fact, playing it could be a slight mistake because even if we get all our chips in with an over-card to the board and a flush draw we may only be 50/50 to win the pot. This table is going to provide better spots for us if we remain patient and prosper just one time in a big hand.

27. UTG2, AQ, raise $15, 3 callers, flop As Ac 2s, $60 in pot and we bet $20. M. Man calls, turn 4c, we check, he says, “How much you got back”, we remain silent and move our hands, he says, “I’ll put you all in.” We snap call and river is a brick. He insta-mucks. We are back up to around $300.

28. OTB, 10h8h, C$7R, 5 way pot. Flop 9d 7d 6h. M.Man leads $30, NIT to my direct right spazz ships $200. I insta-ship my $300. M.Man says, “Lets Gambool!!!!!” Turn Ah, River Js. M. Man proudly smacks down Ad 6d, NIT rolls over 99, and our flopped nut straight holds. So, now we’re at $800.

29. MP, 22, CR$15, fold flop. (-15)
30. HJ, Js10s CR $15, fold flop (-15)
31. OTB, AhJh CR $12, fold flop (-12)
32. BB, KcQc, CR $12, fold flop (-12)

Notes:

After I won that big pot, the M.Man really came unglued and practically every hand was $12 or $15 to go. I would have loved to be sitting with a $135 stack to 3-bet ship all in to the trash he was raising with. But, I was sitting with around $800 and didn’t want to start getting into high variance 3-betting and 4-betting wars which would have happened because he was spazzing out. Unfortunately, when you essentially have 35% of your bankroll on the table it is time to get up. So, I politely stayed for about another hour after my big pot, enjoyed a beer, and stuck to strictly set mining or raising my premiums, then giving up on any flop I missed after I c-bet.

I booked just over a $300 win in this session and was so happy all these great hand examples came up. I hope you all enjoy the format I’ve chose to use for the sessions I’ll be including in my book. If you have any suggestions as to how to improve the abbreviations or format please feel free to correspond here and let me know your thoughts. You’re all part of this writing process and I’ll be happy to answer any questions you may have.

*This is a written story excerpt and is pretty much 100% verbatim as to the conversation my friend Rex was having with "Old Man Maze." I'll often refer to "visiting the taxidermist" in my writing because that means you've had a good night at the poker table. After you stuff a few players and their chip stacks dead in the back of your trunk, you gotta keep their bodies on ice, and then you take them to the taxidermist in the morning to have their heads placed on a mantle that you can hang above your fireplace and brag to all your poker friends about how you stuffed that certain poker player and his chip stack in the back of your trunk.

My favorite mantle is my NIT mantle or my HORSE mantle. It is most fun to stuff NITs or people that you know are staked in the back of your trunk as you then see the HORSE have to get up from the poker table and explain to his stable owner how he got stuffed in the back of the trunk. It's even better when you see the stable owner send the HORSE back to the $1/$2 NLHE track from the $2/$5 table, or best yet when he turns the HORSE to glue and you never see the kid who was getting staked at $2/$5 NLHE again.*

Now onto the story....

"You've Got To Wait For Your Pitch."

(Topics Addressed: Player Types/Tendencies, Common Post Flop Betting Lines, Why Most Players Fail,Controlling Tilt/Emotions/Mental Game, Flop Play/Strategy)

“Hey. You alive man? Haven’t seen you a while. Was at the taxidermist’s place today and he said the same thing. People have been asking about you. What’s up? Where you at big shooter?” Said the text message that popped up in my phone while I was sitting at a $1/$2 No Limit Hold Em poker table located inside Greektown Casino.

“Sent myself down to the minor league,” I replied. “Been feeling like shit, running like $hit, and playing like $hit in some spots. Also, I am about to get started on my book on how to beat $1/$2-$1/$3 NLHE so I figured I sort of have an obligation to play at those stakes while I write it. I want it to be as real as the thing Faith No More put out in 1989 brother. Know what I’m saying?”

“I hear you,” he responded. “Old man Maze is over here at the $2/$5 table giving poker advice to Jose Inglesias from the Detroit Tigers if you’d like to come take some notes. It all started when Jose said ‘Are you going to play a hand tonight?’ Fking hilarious. You won’t believe what Maze chirped him back with.”

“Well, don’t make me pine for it. Lol. Give it to me.” I replied.

“Maze called him out and said, ‘You’re a professional baseball player, right? You know what happens if you swing wildly at every pitch, you strike out like Delmon Young!!! I don’t strike out Jose. No way!!! I’m patient at the plate.”

I start to lose my breath laughing over at Greektown and I see the floor manager get on the horn to call the paramedics. Then another text pops in my Galaxy III from Rex and says, “Now Maze is comparing himself to Miguel Cabrera, he just told Inglesias, ‘You might enjoy playing poker like Delmon Young because you got a lot of money, but me I am more like Miggy, I wait for my pitch then I blast a home run. I been hitting them for years. Don’t you try to tell me how to play. I know what I’m doing.”

I plead for him to stop sending me messages. I really don’t want to die young. Surely, "Ain't No Fun" even though Guns N Roses may try to tell you otherwise.I want so bad for it to be real, though. So, I demand a visual and Rex does not disappoint.

“I may not have as many stories as you,” he says. But, you know I can’t make this $hit up. There’s your visual. Now get over here son. School is in session.”

“I’m going to have to pass,” I reply. Having trouble breathing. Gotta settle down. Plus, I got an exotic straight from the deep blue sea sitting to my right tonight. We’re both three hundred big blinds deep and he’s got a date with the back of my trunk. Tell the taxidermist I’ll be seeing him again soon if he’s not too shook up about Cecil the lion.”

“Will do,” said Rex.

So, I continue to sit at the $1/$2 NLHE table and start to think about how I could use this tale to show just how important it is for any of you that aspire to play poker for a living to learn that almost all players at $1/$2 NLHE are sort of like Maze now days. They might not be as tight with their pre-flop raising or raise calling ranges. But, they are surely every bit as tight with what they will check raise with or re-raise with on the flop, turn, or river and as each card is dealt your opponents check raise and re-raising range will get even tighter. While all $1/$2-$1/$3 NLHE players may not be as snug as Maze preflop, 80%+ of them are on the flop, 90%+ of them are on the turn, and 97%+ of them are on the river.

So, what does this all mean you may ask?

Allow me to give you some hand examples….

You are on the button with AdAc and $200 behind you. There are three limpers to you at the $1/$2 NLHE table and you raise it up to $15 to go. You get a NIT with a $200 stack and a Weak Passive with a $250 stack to call you.

The flop comes out Kh 6d 5s.

Action is checked to you and you bet $35 at the $50 pot.

If either the NIT or the Weak Passive check/raise you all in you can be sure your pocket aces are beat. They are not capable of making check-raise all in bluffs and they are no longer capable of over-valuing top pair because they’ve learned over the past ten years that check-raising top pair all in only gets them calls when they are beat. So, they have been conditioned over time to simply check/call down all the way to the river when they flop top pair.

So, now you might be wondering, what if they don’t check/raise all in, but do a minimum check/raise where they raise my $35 continuation bet to $70? What’s my best course of action here?

The answer to that is simple, we have to call the additional $35 and wait until the turn to really find out for sure if our over pair is good or not. There’s a lot of NITs or Weak Passives who are terrified of having to call down all three streets when they think their top pair could be beat. So, in an effort to alleviate the fear of not knowing if there top pair is good they will put in a minimum check-raise with hopes to fold out any of your hands that missed the board or are not top pair. If you call this bet and they check the turn, my advice is to often check back. Yes, I know a lot of times we are good here. But, there’s a lot of NITs and Weak Passives obsessed with slowplaying. So, to be 100% for sure you are good you can wait for the NITs and Weak Passives to check the river before you bet again for value. If the NIT or Weak Passive shoves the turn all in when you flat his min check-raise or open shoves the river all in when the turn goes check/check after you flatted his min-raise, you are almost always beat and I recommend a fold.

Do you see a pattern developing in the advice I am giving you? The $1/$2-$1/$3 NLHE fields are littered with players like Maze who are “Waiting for their pitch.” Don’t let them hit a long ball on you when all you’ve got is a one pair hand. It doesn’t matter if it’s an over pair, it’s just one measly pair in the end and majority of the villains at your poker table are not going to get aggressive until they have two pair or better.

So, now you might be thinking, well what if the board that comes out in the hand isn’t as easy to deal with? What if the board contains a flush draw?

The flop comes out Kh 6h 5s instead.

Everything I said above remains the same. You have to understand that NITs are NITs and Weak Passives are Weak Passives because it is in their nature to be one who calls with top pair hands or draws when they were not the pre-flop raiser. It is not in the NITs or Weak Passive’s nature to become aggressive until they have two pair, a set, straight, or flush. They are incapable of ever getting out of line.

So, now you ask, “Well what if the player I am up against in that pot isn’t a Weak Passive or NIT, what if he’s a TAG? What if he’s a highly competent winning player? What if he’s a maniac? What if he’s a complete Drooler who over-values top pair?”

Well, that’s a good question young grasshopper.

First, let me say that even good solid TAGs become weak passives when it’s not them doing the pre-flop raising. So, when a TAG limps in a pot and then calls your $15 raise at $1/$2 you can be pretty certain he is set mining, calling you with two broadway cards that he didn’t think was worth raising, or possibly continuing with suited connectors. He obviously didn’t raise because he felt his holdings were inferior in some way and with knowing that you can be quite sure he’s not all of a sudden going to become the type that’s going to spazz all in on the Kh 6d 5s board with top pair or ever bluff at it. So, on that board everything I said in regards to what a Weak Passive or Nit would do holds true as to what a TAG would do. Now, when the board comes Kh 6h and 5s things can get tricky. If you have seen the TAG check-raise semi-bluff all in with a flush draw before then we would have to call him to find out if he has a set or a flush draw. If you have never seen the TAG check-raise all in semi-bluff, then I would still fold. More and more people are becoming more and more passive at $1/$2 NLHE. This is because the vast majority (even solid TAGs) are lifetime losers and they’re looking for ways to reduce their losses and prolong their poker sessions at the casino. Giving up the semi-bluff all in with just a flush draw is one of them amongst others.

Second, lets move onto what we should do if a highly competent winning player check-raises us all in or min check-raises us on that same Kh 6d 5s flop? The answer is to fold in both cases. If he check-raises you all in he is assuming you are an idiot that can’t fold an over pair. So, he wants to get it in now before another King or some sort of scare card that could come out and kill his action. If he is min check-raising you he is doing so in order to get more of your chips into the pot to commit you to calling on later streets or hoping to get you to spazz shove all in. A competent winning $1/$2-$1/$3 player will almost never be at $1/$2-$1/$3 NLHE stakes, but if he is he will most certainly not be looking for spots to try to bluff you off your over pairs on dry boards. Now, when it comes to the Kh 6h 5s board and he check-raises all in or does some sort of min check-raise he very likely can have a flush draw or combo draw of some sort. This is a spot where you just need to ship your $200 in the pot and hope for the best. No need to feel any sort of shame if he has a set and you lose here or if he hits the flush. That’s just poker my friend. Everyone’s head gets placed on a mantle now and then in this game. Rest assured, we’ll stuff him dead in the back of our trunk and take him to the taxidermist the next time.

Third, if the player is a complete maniac or drooler that over-values top pair hands then we have to get all our money in (as long as it’s one hundred big blinds) or less. With complete maniacs or droolers you can never really know what they have so there is no reason to try and play perfectly against them. We can only play perfect against those that are so set in their pre-flop, flop, turn, and river betting ways that it allows us to know where they are at the entire time. You never really know where a maniac or complete drooler is at because they often don’t know themselves or are playing for a purpose different than beating the game. So, when either of these two check raise on either board they could show up with a set just as easy as they could show up with 7c2s because they wanted to play the worst hand in poker and show the table they could win with it. These player types are harder to understand than the blithering “Black Lives Matter” idiots that showed up to protest Bernie Sander’s speech in Seattle even though Bernie Sanders marched with Martin Luther King during the civil rights movement. Just know that some times they are going to have your over pair beat when they check-raise all in, but most of the time they are not. Therefore, it’s always a call.

I bet by now you’re thinking, “Boy, I really learned a lot today.” But, I have one more question. What if we held QdQs in the hand instead of an overpair? How would we play the hand differently?

The answer to that is elementary, my friend. Fold in every case. We are playing $1/$2-$1/$3 No Limit Hold Em to build our bankroll with minimum variance and to enjoy the simplicity of the game. Now is not the time to make things complicated and see if you can bluff people off their top pair/good kicker or top pair/weak kicker type holdings with an under pair. It is also not a time to try to soul read competent villains and determine if they have top pair, a set, or a flush draw. We can wait for better spots where it’s clear to see we are the favorite. Losing our entire stack when we are in bankroll building mode without at least top pair/top kicker at $1/$2-$1/$3 NLHE is a travesty.

If you do not follow my above advice, you will go broke, be break even, or possibly win up to $5.00 a hour at $1/$2-$1/$3. If you can not find the strength within yourself to lay down top pair/top kicker or over pair type hands when you are facing check-raising or re-raising aggression on any street you will fail. One last note, even if you get dealt aces three times over the course of three hours and correctly fold them to a NITs check-raise on the flop, a TAGs spazz out all in from early position when a flush card hits on the turn in a four way pot, and a Weak Passive’s check/raise on a K Q 10 flop, that does not mean you have the right to call off your stack in following hand.

Lets say we have KsKh under the gun and are sitting with $250. We raise to $15 and are called by a NIT on the button, a Weak Passive in the hi-jack, and a complete Drooler in mid position.

There’s $60 in the pot and the flop comes out Qd 10d 9d.

We lead $40 and the Drooler spazzes all in for his remaining $100, the Weak Passive folds, and the NIT ships all in for $250 total.

No, you greedy little bastard. You are not entitled to win this pot. You need to learn that every hand is it’s own entity. Just because you’ve had three over pairs in a row be sucked out on does not mean you have to have the best hand this time around. I don’t care if the old crusty nit is doing crossword puzzles at the table and you’re just dying to add his head to the NIT mantle you keep above your fireplace. You know and I know if you look at that board with a clear heart and mind it’s easy to figure out the NIT flopped a flush, set, or straight. So, you’re beat again. You have to fold. I know it’s hard, like I said it takes strength to keep laying down such strong pre-flop holdings. But, if you want the build a bankroll and eventually give yourself the opportunity to play $2/$5 NLHE for a living, making these sort of folds is essential. If you can’t do it there’s no sense in reading the rest of this book unless you’re solely reading for it’s entertainment value.

Remember, most $1/$2-$1/$3 NLHE players are just like Maze on the flop, turn, and river. They’re all just waiting for their pitch. Don’t let your over pairs or top pair/top kicker type hands be their long ball. If they’re really leaning into their re-raise and check-raise swings you better fold before you get blasted out of the ole ballpark.

The last five sessions of "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" can be found here....

Session #15

Session #16

Session #17

Session #18

Session #19

Stay tuned for something new I'll be posting in this forum and if you'd like to check out more from me you can always go to www.lotgrinder.com.or find me on Facebook and Twitter. Hope to meet some of you out on the road real soon as I plan on playing at least five World Series of Poker circuit events before the WSOP in Las Vegas. Thanks for checking out my blogs.

Session #14

[I can’t say what I want to,
even if I’m not serious.

I can’t say what I want to,
even if I’m not serious.

Things like….

F* yourself. F Yourself.
You piece of $*, why don’t you just go, kill yourself!

I said..

I can’t say what I want to,
even if I’m not serious.

I can’t say what I want to,
even if I’m just kidding.”[1]“

Are the opening lyrics to a Tool track named “Hush” that was put out in the mid 90’s.

In case you’re a complete drooler and can’t figure it out for yourself, the song is clearly written in protest to censorship. As is this post because I’ve been messaged by the moderators a couple times lately and asked to stop circumventing the profanity filter. I don’t understand the point of censoring my personal poker blog as it’s not required reading or front page news on this website. So, why limit the vocabulary I’m allowed to use when anyone following along in this thread is free to count to ten, take three steps back from the keyboard, and power down their computer if anything I’ve said has caused a rise in their blood pressure.

Why cater this website to dripping wet pussies who probably teach their children that violence is wrong and to let mommy and daddy handle it if they’re being picked on at school? I guarantee anyone who has complained is a scarf wearer, has some sort of vegan diet, was picked on in high school, and no doubt their future children will have a much higher probability of shooting up a school or dying of a drug overdose than the average person who may be offended at some things I’ve said. But, just chooses to stop reading my posts like a normal person would do.

Sure, some of the comments I’ve made over the years if taken out of context may appear sexist, racist, homophobic, or offensive. But, if you’ve taken the time to read my entire body of work since 2011 you know damn well if any real racist, sexist, or homophobe ever tried to chum it up with me I’d leave him/her looking much like the skinhead in this scene from one of my favorite movies of all time “Falling Down.”

If you haven’t seen that movie I’d highly recommend it. Most would argue it’s a drama. However, I feel as though it’s much more like a fantasy. Especially if you’ve ever been on the brink of insanity after losing an argument on the internet, going through a divorce, getting laid off from a job, or simply being three minutes late to Mcdonald’s and missing the 10am cut off time for breakfast.

There’s something therapeutic about living vicariously through a man who has lost it all and no longer cares about anything. The scene where he beats the $** out of a Korean convenience store owner saved me from losing my mind more than a few times back in the early 2000’s when I was attending Central Michigan University and my local 7-11 ran out of Otis Spunkenmeyer chocolate chip cookies. I even stopped to buy some of those fuckers after I torched the Sip Ap fraternity house with a molotov cocktail. Had to be one of the best nights of my life. If you search hard enough you can find it in buried away in one of these poker forums.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about playing more poker tournaments. While my brain tells me to primarily focus on playing live $2/$5 No Limit Hold Em cash games and continue making $40+ a hour, my heart tells me learning to be profitable at and taking down some big buy in tournaments would be a lot more fun. Plus, there’s a lot more scarf wearing queers reaching for kleenex out of the backpack mommy packed them when they get eliminated from these events to piss off and now all I really want to do is annoy as many of these poker scenesters as possible.

I thought people only wore uniforms to work, school, punk rock concerts, industrial shows, and electronic music parties. I didn’t know I’d have to deal with these special sorts of image obsessed toolbags with no substance all over again in the poker community. They are a trend that must be killed before they pollute our waters so much that the exotics decide to go swim somewhere else in the ocean known as the casino. There is only one place for these fun sucking parasites and that is in the back of our collective trunks.

So, I’ve decided to make Chicago Poker Classic’s Main Event on March 13th, 2015 my first big shot at a tournament since I played the WSOP Main Event in 2012.

In the meantime….

You’ve still got sixteen more sessions of “Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak” to come.

We start out session #14 at a must move table with two competent winning players on our left and a fine selection of $hit regs and nits to our right. We’re up 2-0 on the scoreboard of trunk stuffings against one of them and just know he’s dying to take us to the taxidermist someway, somehow. So, rather than face the challenge of having two villains capable of giving us trouble to our left, we decide to take a dinner break and take a freshly made chicken shawarma from Motor City Casino’s Lodge Diner to pound town. It’s a little overpriced at $12.00 USD. But, it hits the spot and helps us kill forty five minutes while he hope for table conditions to improve.

When we get back the two threats to our left have been moved to main games and they’ve been placed with a couple exotics. We are sitting with $500 and end up getting KK on the button after a few hands. By the time it gets to us there’s four limpers and we decide to make it $35 to go. One of the callers is known as Taka. But, he’s been renamed “Taco” by my friend Rex and when this guy flops top pair he does not like to fold. This guys limp/calling range is all pocket pairs and all broadways. (Hands like AJ,A10, KQ, QJ, J10 for all you novices out there.) The other callers range is all pocket pairs, broadways, suited connectors, and other random suited trash. (This is why we label him an exotic. If hands in a fish’s range equate to color this fish has way more colors to him than the average fish at the poker table. Thus, making him a more exotic breed.)

The flop comes down Qh 5s 2c.

It goes check/check to us and we bet $65 into a $125 pot. Taco quickly calls and the exotic folds. We are pretty sure Taco has a pocket pair or a Qx hand. So, we’re going to be going for full value on all turns.

Turn is a 7s.

Taco checks and we bet $150 into a $255 pot. Which sets up an all in shove on the river if he calls no matter what so we can double up or lose $500 to a set he’s slow playing.
Taco ponders the call for a minute and reluctantly slides $150 into the pot. I can tell he’s definitely not acting and the grimace on his face is sincere. It’s as if he knows I have KK or AA. But, has decided to walk the plank to his own death anyway just to make sure I am not double or triple barrel bluffing him.

Taco knows no matter what the river is I am shipping my last $250 in the pot.

The river is a 6c and Taco quickly checks.

As I slide my chips past the line and announce “All in” he’s already shaking his head in disgust. He turns his hand over and attempts to show me. I already know it’s QJ or KQ, thought. I don’t need to see. So, I look away. He sighs and says, “Ok. I call.”

I scoop the $500 pot and we are now only $1,000 away from our $10,000 in thirty $2/$5 NLHE cash game sessions. We are also only thirty actual minutes into Session #14 as the first forty five minutes were spent taking a break to eat. On top of that, our confidence is high as a dirty hippies running a nitrous tank at some $hit music festival.
So, we decide that there’s no checking out early tonight.

It’s reach that 10k goal or lose 1.5k trying.

No excuses.

When we get moved to the main game, we find the table conditions to be much to our liking. To our left we have two nits, one named Paul and another young player who buys in for no more than $300 at a time. So, we’re essentially going to have three dealer buttons we can use to isolate one of the exotics at the table sitting with 1.5k+.

Everything is falling into place perfectly as we pick up pocket kings again in the cut off and raise three limpers to $30.00. Then, the young nit makes it $130 to go and basically announces he has AA, QQ, JJ, 1010 or AK/AQ. If the young kid hadn’t ever seen me raise with a wide range in late position I’d put his range more towards QQ+ and AK. But, since he has played with me a lot I am pretty sure he’d overbet JJ, 1010 and maybe AQ just to get me to fold for sure because he doesn’t want to play me post flop. Obviously, I ship my KK all in and it holds against his QQ for another $300 win in our favor.

Shortly after we open Jc9c from mid position to $20 and the nit paul calls (with $400 back) as well as the small blind (who has $150 back.)

It’s a 3 way pot and we flop a straight flush when the flop comes down 10c Qc 8c.

Small blind checks to us and we bet $25 into a $60 pot. Paul calls the $60. Small blind shoves his remaining $130. We flat the $130. Paul shoves his remaining $320. We call quickly and table our straight flush.

Paul shows Ac2c.
Small blind shows Kc3c.

We all flopped flushes!!!

Lol.

We rake in another $550 after this pot and are now only a couple hundred from our 10k goal.

We’re so close we can taste it. We don’t want to do anything stupid to F** it up.

So, we proceed to play like a complete nit for the next few hours and look for an easy spot to scoop a $300+ pot to seal the deal.

Then the moment we’ve all been waiting for happens.

We get dealt AA in the big blind. The table exotic Ian who I have told you all about in the past is sitting with 1.3k and makes it $20 to go from mid position. By the time it gets to me there’s 3 callers and I make it $125 to go. I chose to make it $125 because when Ian is this deep he’ll call almost any two cards if you make it something like $65 or $85 and then Ian calling the $65 or $85 increases the chances of the other two players calling as well. Then I’d have to play a big 4 way pot out of position with AA and not really have a clue what any player holds in the hand. So, I decided to bet $125 to make sure I really narrowed down the field and hopefully get to play Ian heads up.

Ian called quickly and gave no thought to a 4bet. So, I immediately took QQ+ and AK out of his range. He had shown no signs of being on tilt. So, I also took complete trash and most suited trash out of his range as well. Although, you can never be sure with him I was quite confident he held 22-JJ, Ax, and all other broadways. The flop came 8c 2c 8s. I bet the pot ($320) in order to charge full value for flush draws or get full value from any pocket pair he was going to choose to call me down with if he put me on AK or AQ because if Ian wants to call you down with bottom pair in a 1.5k-2.5 pot he will. That’s just him. Turn was something worthless like an offsuit three. There was around $900 in the pot and I just shipped it “all in.” Ian quickly called off his last $850 and rolled over quad 8’s.

As we sat there in disbelief looking at our $400 chipstack that used to be $1700 we got pocket aces dealt to us again in the small blind. By the time it got to us there was six limps. So, we decided to make it $45 to go since we’re going to have to play the hand out of position and the table probably thinks we are on tilt since we just lost a huge hand. We figure a fish or two will call our raise for sure and that they do.

Flop comes out Q 9 5 rainbow.

$150 in the pot and we bet $100.

Folds around to a fish on the button.

He looks at the $250 we have back and says, “I’ll put you all in.”

We quickly call and table our AA. He says, “Aw man. I thought you were steaming. I have a weak queen.” He tables Qh6h. Turn is a brick. River is a 6.

He felts us and within ten minutes we go from $300 away from our 10k goal to now a distant $2000 because we decided to throw in the towel and book the $500 loss after getting our aces cracked in back to back hands.

Talk about a cruel twist to this story.

We are now up 8k since “Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak” started.

Session #13

Christopher Scott Kyle

The most lethal sniper in American military history.

I've been forced to read more n more about this guy with the relentless advertising campaign promoting Clint Eastwood's new movie "The American Sniper" and I must admit I was intrigued. This is coming from someone who hasn't went to a sporting event in the last few years and makes sure to arrive late to any one I do go to because I do not believe in the intertwining of sports and our American military. So, I make it a point to miss the national anthem because I can never figure out if I want to stand to support the troops or sit down to denounce my countries often evil foreign policy aspirations. The truth is our armed forces really haven't been used to protect the homeland in decades and if we are injecting our troops into any battle you can bet it's for one of the following three reasons.

1. To obtain strategic military position for an upcoming war against Iran, North Korea, China, and/or Russia. This is done under the guise of "spreading freedom" and once a middle eastern country like Iraq is conquered, it gives the opportunity to build more American military bases that will eventually be used for offensive fronts against the nations I listed above. American media will try to convince you that Iran is an aggressive nation. But, the facts are we've built nearly twenty American military bases surrounding Iran in the last thirty years. They've built none surrounding the United States of America. So, I'll leave it up to you to decide who is aggressive.

2. To secure Israel who has long been our vicious little nuclear lapdog and likes to conduct itself as such knowing they have the world's only nuclear powerhouse on their side. Israel will argue it has a right to build nuclear weapons as it's people were almost eradicated off the face of the earth and I would agree that argument has merit. But, the real reason why Israel is allowed nuclear arms is because they will be America's nuclear ally in any potential war I listed above and they are currently housing many weapons including nuclear ones that belong to American military.

3. To gain control of more natural resources. You can bet if a nation has a large amount of any natural resource we covet, we'll find an excuse to go "spread freedom." Especially if that nation's government refuses to be our lapdog. Which is why there has long been a misinformation campaign in America against Iran over the years. So, when it is time to go to war the American people believe we are truly are killing savages who hate us and can't be reasoned with. The truth is that most middle eastern people do not hate us, they do not "hate our freedom" as George W. Bush says, and they do not hate our religion either. They hate the old shriveled dicks in business suits who send young American soldiers over to their lands to steal their oil.

Lets take a look at Cuba as another example. They've long been an annoyance. They've even threatened to aim nuclear warheads at our homeland. Why haven't we ever went to Cuba to spread any freedom? The answer to that question is easy. They don't have anything worth stealing. If that nation had more oil reserves or any other natural resources we wanted you could bet we'd have went to war by now and a government we approved/instilled would be controlling it. Since it doesn't, we've left Cuba alone when it comes to using military force against them. But, that hasn't stopped our government from trying to have Fidel Castro assassinated multiple times for being an annoying zit on our proverbial ass.

Now, did Chris Kyle or anyone else who signed up to join the American military after the September 11th, 2001 attacks know and understand the three things I listed above? Highly doubtful. They just wanted to sign up in order to defend the homeland, off some dirty sand nggrs ass for fun, and get revenge for the good old red, white, n blue because these colors don't run from any Jihadi dune c00n motherfukkers. The September 11th, 2001 attacks was a perfect time to carry out offensive fronts against any nation we deemed part of "The Axis Of Evil" and no matter what you say now, unless you were a dirty, daisy picking, tree hugging hippy you agreed it was time for America (the back to back world war champs) to kick some ass again.

And that's what Chris Kyle enlisted for...

Like any soldier, his intentions were both noble and good.

If he is to meet his maker he will be able to answer for every last one of his kills.

However, the politicians who send American soldiers to war to do their dirty work will never be able to answer for all the blood on their hands. They are the willing, knowing, and conniving parts of the death machine known as the American military. They'll be the ones who will burn in hell for an eternity. Never the soldiers. They are merely pawns in a billion dollar chess match played by the world's biggest homicidal maniacs with egos one hundred times bigger than the slut who just got 242 likes on her latest n greatest half naked picture posted on Facebook. These old spice wearing, Viagra munching, and glad handing idiots can't be reasoned with. They are the real enemy and until we systematically remove them from office with our votes, more American soldiers are going to die for no good reason.

What's most interesting about the one "The American Sniper" scene I keep seeing in the previews where Chris Kyle is faced with turning a small middle eastern child's head into a chunk red mist, is that the viewer is supposed to feel sympathy for the youth whose been misguided by "evil" Muslims or Jihadists to carry out acts of war or terror.

In which, yes.... the scene does it job.

But, shouldn't we also feel that same sense of sympathy for Chris Kyle holding a sniper rifle ready to kill a child in the name of "Freedom" when often our foreign policy objectives are anything but about "Freedom" at all? On one side you have the child ready to throw a bomb at an American convoy who knows not what he does. On the other side you have an adult who is about to shoot the child also knows not what he does as well.

Shouldn't sympathy be felt for both human beings in this situation? Especially since no nuclear arms were ever found in Iraq. Think about how fukked up it is for one man to kill another and neither has ever said one word to the other or meant any harm to him at all either.War now days is almost always rooted in evil intentions and often unnecessary.

That being said, I don't think it's going anywhere any time soon. It's a game that's going to have to be played by young American men for a long time to come. One of the positions available to play in the game known as war is a sniper. A sniper is a highly trained marksman who operates alone, in a pair, or with a sniper team to maintain close visual contact with the enemy and engage targets from concealed positions or distances exceeding the detection capabilities of enemy personnel. These sniper teams operate independently, with little combat asset support from their parent units. Snipers typically have highly selective and specialized training and use high-precision/special application rifles and optics, and often have sophisticated communication assets to feed valuable combat information back to their units.

Christopher Scott Kyle was a man who took an oath to defend America, spread freedom, and defend his brothers in combat. He eventually became a Navy Seal and sniper was the position he decided to play during four tours in the war against Iraq. This guy was so good at what he did he had one hundred and sixty confirmed kills. He was also dubbed the "Devil of Ramadi" and a series of ever increasing bounties were placed on his head, purported to have eventually reached the low six figures.

Sure, the politicians who send American soldiers to war disgust me. However, the troops do not. They have a commitment to keep. There is something to be said for any man or woman who signs up to the American military, takes an oath, and then sticks by it no matter what for better or for worse. This guy did every duty he was asked to do and then some. In a world where a lot of you losers can't even honor a small bet with your local bookie, a staking deal with your local backer, or pay back a friend who loaned you a few hundred bucks Chris Kyle went back to Iraq three different times to help defend or get revenge for his brothers. He signed on the dotted line and kept all his promises knowing full well their was a price on his head and he could die at any moment. For that, he is a hero and if any of my friends or family were in the military I'd want a guy like him to have their back.

Now onto the poker...

Thursday night action. Motor City Detroit Casino. "Caustic Grip" on our chips as we're riding an almost ten session win streak and feel as though we're on top of the $2/$5 no limit hold em world. We open AdJd from early position to $20, there's 3 callers by the time it gets to a competent player OTB and he makes it $85 to go. This is the guy who was 3betting us a lot the other night and as much as we want to ram a $500 4bet down his throat we "Resist" and fold.

Now I know I could have flat called and looked to flop a pair, then check/called him down to see if he'd barrel off his stack against us or I could have 4bet him pre to see if I could get a fold. But, the way I am looking at things is we are up almost 9k since "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" started and why risk going down $500 early in a session when there's other fish to feast on at the table? This guy could really just be getting lucky and running into a lot of premium hands when I raise.

In fact, the more and more I think about it lately I'm starting to believe it's best for me and probably most of you to avoid 50% or real close spots against villains for $500+ because as much as most of you like to act like you're immune, we're still mostly a bunch of tilt monkeys when we go down a buy-in or two. There's so many 65%+ spots in our favor that are easy to wait for in these live cash games taking 50%-55% spots is really just not worth it. Going on tilt, forcing things, dropping down into B-C game, and finding ourselves in 35% or less spots is a complete travesty. Do anything in your power to avoid it.

Even if it means folding out and losing $50-$100 in a pot where you are pretty sure it's a coin flip. If you can't take the mental stress of playing a buy-in or two down, don't risk losing a buy-in unless you know you're 65%+ in the pot. If you're like me you can leave the casino and sleep easy as long as you know you lost 1k-1.5k with a 65%+ edge on your side every time. But, if you know you lost 1k-1.5k in coin flips or in spots where you were only 35% or less to win you want to go to Mcdonalds and drown yourself in a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Mcflurry.

Anyway, as if we're not already pissed off enough we just got 3bet out of a pot. Now one of those DJ looking hipster fagt poker players who wears a scarf sits down at our table.

If the visual intensity of his look isn't irritating enough he also has only bought in for $200.00 USD, the table minimum. So, he is also what's known as a short-stacker in the poker world and those kind of players are as annoying as the broke fukk in front of you at the grocery store using a hundred coupons and holding up the line. If that's not enough to hate him already he has also took the time to organize his chips in $50 stacks.

Needless to say I'm sweating. I go pour myself some m+ms out of this big tube full of them they have for slobs to try to calm myself down and keep focus. I decide to refrain from playing any hands against this guy because if I lost I may consider swan diving off the top of the parking structure and I've promised all you guys thirty entries for "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" and I don't want to whelch like some grape on the deal.

A few minutes later we end up flopping a set in a raised pot and get our remaining $420 all in against a flush draw. The outcome isn't good. Our opponent makes his flush on the turn and we do not fill up to hit a full house on the river. So, we go down $500 early here in this session and for the next four hours we just hover from $400 down to $600 down. We just can't get any real positive momentum going to build a strong image and therefore are not getting too creative with any light 3bets, double barrels, or triple barrels when we are missing.

Eventually, we pick up AsQs OTB with $600 against a Nits under the gun open to $35 which means he has JJ-AA or AK. There's two callers by the time it gets to us and we elect to enter the pot. When the flop comes down 5s 4s 9h, the nit bets $125. Both others fold. Again, here's a spot where we can shove all in for $600 and our ace will usually give us an overcard (3 outs) and our two spades will also give us a flush draw(9 outs). So, we're a 50% chance to win against the NITS JJ-KK. He is never making that bet with a whiffed AK. If he has AA we are only like 33% to win.

If I ship it all in and lose I am down $1000. My session will be over. I don't want my session to be over because I lost a coin flip. Therefore, I elect to call because this NIT may or may not believe I have the flush if it hits and call me down to make sure and see it for himself. Unfortunately, I do not get lucky on the turn. It's a 6 of diamonds and the nit quickly says "All In." We do not have pot odds to take the draw and try to beat him. So, we have to fold.

However, we still have over $450 in front of us and are only down a little over a buy-in. So, our session gets to go on and we have given ourselves the opportunity to keep looking for a 65%+ spot to get our money all in. Sadly, this is where our winning streak comes to an end because after six hours of grinding the table conditions had turned to $hit. Although we were only down $470 when we got up, it wasn't worth trying to get even late at night when the tables were shortening and each one was 5,6, or 7 handed as short handed cash games have been a problem for us in the past due to inexperience at them.

We are now up 8.5k since "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" started.

Session #12

January 19th, 2015.

Martin Luther King Day.

He's the one leader from the civil rights movement who has been propped up and celebrated more than any other because he taught all of those who were being oppressed at the time to remain non-violent and passive. Ever wonder why it's leaders like him that get put into all the mainstream history books and all the ones that preach violence when necessary like Emma Goldman, John Brown, Malcolm X, Huey Newton, and Bobby Seale are conveniently discarded?

Think about it.....

The easiest kind of poker table to rule is always the one that's chock full of uninformed weak passive people that will never rise up and try to play back at you or try to put a move on you. No matter how much you oppress them from playing non-premium hands by continually raising the pot pre-flop or beat them into submission with well timed bluffs post-flop they will just keep folding and folding their hands over and over again until they are absolutely sure they can beat you. They just sit there hoping they can flop the nuts and check/raise you all in to teach you a lesson. In which case you can easily fold your one paid or worse hand because when weak passive players check/raise you they are always on two pair or better. A $2/$5 table full of uninformed weak passives offers the elite poker players at that level a 70k+ a year.

The easiest kind of society to rule is also one that's mainly compromised of uninformed weak passive people. Which is why it's important for the elite to make sure your history books are full of leaders that do not condone violence, preach pacifism, and teach you to sit in your homes and pray that some imaginary being is going to come down from the sky and stop all the injustices and oppression that's still going on in the world and in America today. They don't want a nation full of informed citizens who are angry that the fix has been in ever since 1% of the population has controlled 95%+ of the money and are ready to do something about it. You see, violence is the real life elite's variance and they'll do anything here in America to avoid it. A society full of uninformed weak passive citizens offers the real life elite in America 400k+ a year.

And....

There you have the reason why non-violent leaders like Martin Luther King will always be celebrated more than ones who preach violence when necessary like Malcolm X. Even though I'd argue the real nuts and bolts of any movement is always rooted in violence. It is always the riots, disorder, and chaos that captivates a worldwide audience and brings attention to the movement. Then from that point on it's leaders like Martin Luther King's voice that ultimately brings upon change after the oppressor's finally understand the severity of the situation and realize they can no longer take advantage of those that have been oppressed.

So, on a day where we are to celebrate one of the most powerful voices from the civil rights movement I'd also like to thank the first black man whose writing caught my attention when I was a small child in grade school and ultimately influenced me to learn a good amount about black history even though his lyrics were often racist towards white people.

That man was none other than Oshea Jackson.

I remember walking to Anderson Elementary school rotating Guns N Roses "Appetite For Destruction and N.W.A's "Straight Outta Compton" in and out of my Walkman. I started to hate authority as soon as I realized what it was and it isn't any surprise to me now when I look back that Axl Rose and Ice Cube were two of my first idols that weren't one of my grandparents. Although, I wasn't old enough to fully grasp some of the things they were singing about songs like "** The Police," "Straight Out Of Compton," "Nightrain," and "Mr. Brownstown" definitely had the raw power and attitude that caught my attention.

By the time I was in 8th grade I had really got into punk rock, metal, and industrial music. But, Ice Cube was getting heavy play on MTV with his track "It Was A Good Day" and I read in a magazine that on parts of his new album "The Predator" he actually predicted the L.A. riots of 1992. I had long known that Ice Cube was the primary songwriter for a lot of N.W.A. and Eazy E's early work. So, I decided to explore all of his releases again as I was becoming more aware and tuned into politics and social issues in the United States.

Needless to say the first track from "The Predator" titled "When will they shoot?" instantly had me hooked.

"God damn, another *ing payback with a twist
Them motherers shot but the punks missed
Ice Cube is out-gunned, what is the outcome?
Will they do me like MALCOLM?
Cause I bust styles, new styles, standing - strong!
While, others Run a Hundred Miles
But I never run, never will
Deal with the devil with my motherin steel - BOOM!
Media try to do me
But I was a Boy-N-the-Hood before the movie, yeah
Call me *, bigger than a spook
But you the one that voted for Duke, motherer
White man, is something I tried to study
But I got my hands bloody, yeah
They said I could sing like a Jaybird
But *, don't say the J-word
I thought they was buggin
cause to us Uncle Sam, is Hitler without an oven
Burnin our black skin
Buy my neighborhood - then push the crack in
Doin us wrong from the first day
And don't understand why a got an AK
Callin me an African-American
like everything is fair again, *
Devil, you got to get the * right I'm black
Blacker than a trillion midnights
+Don't Believe the Hype+ was said in '88
by the great Chuck D, now they're tryin to * me
".. with No Vaseline
Just a match and a little bit of gasoline.." - HUH!
It's a great day for genocide (What's that?)
That's the day all the niggaz died
They killed JFK in '63
So what the * you think they'll do to me?
But I'm the O.G. and I bust back (boom boom)
Bust back (Boom boom!) peel a cap (BOOM BOOM!)
Gimme room in the fire of the sun
Here the mack come, here the black come, watch Jack run!
Mother*ers can't gank me
* a devil, ** a rebel, and a yankee
Overrun and put the Presidency
After needin that, I'm down wit O.P.P., yeah
I met Farrakhan and had dinner
And you ask if I'm a five-percenter, well...
No, but I go where the brothers go
Down with Compton Mosque, Number 54
Made a little dough, still got a sister on my elbow
Did Ice Cube sell out? You say, "Hell no!"
A black woman is my manager, not in the kitchen
So could you please stop bitchin?

"Stalkin.. walkin in my big black boots" [Brother J]
[Cube] Yeah, yeah..
"But when will they shoot?"
"Stalkin.. walkin in my big black boots" [Brother J]
[Cube] Yeah, yeah..
"But when will they shoot?"
.. [automatic gunfire]

[Ice Cube]
You missed, and didn't hit Da Lench Mob either
"Guerillas in the Mist.." without Jungle Fever
But I got the fever for the flava of a cracker
Not a Pringle, bust the single, here's my new jingle
"Stalkin.. walkin in my big black boots"
The KKK has got three-piece suits
Using niggaz like turkey shoots
My motto is +Treat 'Em Like a Prostitute+
Now if I say no violence, devil, you won't respect mine
* the dumb * - and get my Tec-9
And if they approach us
A-ight, a-ight - I bury those cockroaches
And if you can't deal with my +Kill at Will+
Here's a new gift to get - try my +Death Certificate+
+Amerikkka's Most+, Amerikkka's burnt - it's like toast
Like Jordan, I'm goin coast to coast
Dribblin the funk here comes the
with the mother*in monster dunk, get off me punk!
"Jordan.. watch Jordan,
aiyyo yo watch Jordan .. YES!"
"You better eat your Wheaties" [M.J.]

"Stalkin.. walkin in my big black boots" [Brother J]
[Cube] Yeah, yeah..
"But when will they shoot?"
"Stalkin.. walkin in my big black boots" [Brother J]
[Cube] Yeah, yeah..
"But when will they shoot?"

[Ice Cube]
Darryl Gates got the studio surrounded
Cause he don't like the niggaz that I'm down with
Mother*er wanna do us
Cause I like Nat, Huey, Malcolm, and Louis
Most got done by a black man's bullet
Give a trigger to a * and watch him pull it
Negro assass-in
I'ma dig a ditch, bitch, and throw yo' ass in
When they shoot, no, it won't be a cracker
They use somebody much blacker
What I do? I called up the Geto Boy(s) crew
Cause +My Mind's Playing Tricks On Me+ too
Never died, surround my crib
and F.O.I. makin sure nobody creep when I sleep
Keep a 9 millimeter in my Jeep - PEEP!
When I roll, I gots to roll deep
Ain't goin out cheap
Met the MADD Circle on Cypress Hill cause it's so steep
They'll never get me, they'll never hit me
Mother* that * J-Dee
Now I'm relaxed
Grab the St. Ide's brew so I can max
Sittin by the window cause it's so ***in hot
and then I heard a shot - boom."

I mean what more do you need than that track to get interested in black history and all the awful things going on in the inner cities where most of the residents are minorities and still living in poverty? So much good stuff in that song to explore and learn about. Sure, there's a lot of venom towards white people. But, if you can learn to put yourself in another person's shoes you can see where all the hate and vitriol comes from.

Through listening to Ice Cube, Rage Against The Machine, Fugazi, Bad Religion, and Propagandhi's music I discovered all the writers I ever needed to know about when it comes to politics, social issues, philosophy, and religion. It's my hope I can do them all justice by figuring out a way to mention them all somewhere along the way in my writing. Hopefully some of you will take the time to read them and pass the good word onto others who share interest in the same subjects.

A lot of you form your opinions on politics and social issues from Fox, MSNBC, and CNN news. That's like basing your nutrition on a steady diet of McDonald's, Taco Bell, and White Castle. Just don't. Use the local library while they're still around if you're really interested. Then you'll truly have what it takes to go into one of those political posts and speed bag whatever side (usually both) that's regurgitating some ** point they heard in a thirty second news snippet. Which in turn will make most people hate you for not agreeing with them right off the bat or they'll figure out they hate you because you actually did make them think, and people really really hate having to do that.

Which brings me to my favorite Martin Luther King quote.

"Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think."

Sorry if my posts cause you to do that sometime.

"Gangsta Rap Made me Do it."

Now onto the poker...

We've been sat at a table that's full of familiar faces and if I am to rate it on a scale of 1-10 it's easily a 3. Sadly, this time around it's populated with all weak passives, overly tight regs, and nits. There's actually two people at the table whose game I respect and my friend Rex is also here sitting on just over two thousand dollars. He sends me a text that reads, "Hey shooter. I backed my Volkswagen into a pole this weekend when I was in a drunken stupor. Although, there's not much structural damage I seem to be having a problem popping open my trunk and was wondering if you could help me tie these three dead bodies down to the roof with some bungee chords and duct tape. I'm about to leave and I'd appreciate it."

So, I take a break and help Rex out in the parking lot. I must admit that him having three bodies to take to the taxidermist in the morning made me a bit jealous. Since most of my wins have been averaging around $700 lately. But, we've been slowly but surely chipping away at our $10,000.00 goal and if table conditions aren't right we are not going to force a six to eight hour session when we don't need to.

So, when we get back to the table our goal is to put in a solid 4-5 hour session unless table conditions change and become more favorable. We had considered changing tables. However, the other two $2/$5 tables that were offering no limit hold em didn't look any better. For better or for worse we are set to battle a tough field and we catch a break after a hour.

There's this one tight regular who raises $15 from early position to late position when he has a small pocket pair and wants to build a pot in case he hits a set on the flop. He never balances his $15 small pocket pair raises with also raising his premium pairs and AK/AQ to $15 as well. He always raises those to $25-$30.

By the time it gets to us in the big blind there's been 5 callers and that's $75 dead money in the pot we can steal by betting $115 of our $500 stack. I elect to go $105 and not $85 because if I go $85 it could lead to a waterfall of callers then we have no chance of winning the hand unless we flop gold. Raising to $105 gets us just over that $100 threshold and it sounds like a hell of a lot more money to the average person to call in a poker game.

Now we have absolute trash in this spot. But, we are going to rep JJ-AA and AK in our villains mind. All we need is an A or K to come on the flop if our villain calls our $105 bet and he will fold to our continuation bet. If an A or K does not come on the flop we will have to be $130 on flop and villain will fold 25% to 50% of the time, then shove our remaining $265 all in on the turn if villain calls flop and he will fold 75%+ of the time to that double barrel if no A or K hits and more like 95%+ of the time if an A or K does hit. In his mind he has choreographed a story that we have AK or pocket jacks, queens, kings, or aces and we must show a betting pattern that confirms the story he is telling himself inside his own mind. The two cards we hold does not matter. We are going to use the image of being a tight player ourselves over the last year and his own ability to think/put tight opponents on a certain hand range against him. As long as our villain does not hit a set our story is much too scary for him to call us down in this hand.

Of course we prefer to take down the $75 and not have to risk the rest of our chip stack. But, when our villain does call the $105 and everyone else folds we are not afraid. We already know the next two bets we will be making. We were not an idiot and just 3bet because we thought it would be fun. I can't stress how important it is to always be thinking a few moves ahead in poker. Always have a good reason and a plan for anything you may do.

The flop comes down 6 6 4 rainbow.

Uhhh.

These are the hardest to deal with. These require the most risk. There's no way our villain is folding unless we take the $130 on flop, $265 shove on turn line.

Some might think checking, letting villain bet, then check/raise all in is the strongest betting line. But, that means we rely on villain to bet this flop and most villains are going to look to check their small pocket pair down here. He will not be aggressive. So, we stick with our line and show "No Fear" just like that old **ty shirt says that you used to wear in high school. But, now use as a cum rag.

$130 it is. Villain calls quickly.

Turn is pretty as the nineteen year old's pussy I ate last night and the card that strikes fear into any man's heart that's in a raised pot with pocket kings or less.

It's an ace of diamonds.

Without hesitation we slowly shove our chips towards the middle and before we can get them over the betting line our opponent mucks his cards in disgust. We just stole a little over $200 and now that we're sitting with around $700 we think, "It wouldn't be so bad to look for an easy spot to double and then just get the hell out of here with a $900 win."

As if there is a god and he's trying to give us a sign, we then lock eyes with that Detroit poker legend Moe sitting at the table across from us and he gives us a friendly smile plus a nod. Almost as if he's saying, "That's right son. That $200 steal was simply a bunt to first. Now it's time to execute the hit and run to get yourself on over to second. ** these people. Get in. Get the money and get out. That's what I do." It's as if my mind was the first base coach asking for the signal to hit n run and Moe was the coach in the dugout confirming the play.

I had saw all the signs I needed to see for me to play the following hand...

As I said there were two players at the table I respected. I was under the gun with As10s and at most tables I would raise $20-$25 with this hand. But, I'd rather give the players I respect the opportunity to raise their buttons, cutoffs, or hijacks then 3bet them pre or check/raise them on flop with air, or just go into call down mode if I feel what I flopped has their range crushed. So, I limped in with As10s for $5 and by the time it got to one of the players I respect otb there was 5 callers and he made it $45 to go.

I quickly called the $45 because I believed his bet sizing screamed weakness and he was looking to get everyone to fold. With that sizing he could be sure that the only people who called him were those looking to set mine. My plan was to check/raise him on flop with air if I missed or call him down if I hit so he could bluff off as much of his stack as he wanted. Me calling caused two others to call, though and we went to the flop four ways.

Flop came down Js 5s 2c.

I checked. A tight reg sitting on 1k lead $125. Other guy folded. Player who I respected called the $125 and I believed he was looking to represent QQ+ on the turn if checked to and the flush draw. I also felt he could definitely have a premium hand now as it was a 4-way pot and I am sure he would give up 50% of the time here with absolute air. Either way I was pretty sure the tight regular had something like J10, JQ, KJ, or AJ suited and could be bluffed off the jack. So, I ripped it all in for just over $700 and the tight regular thought for a minute or two then folded. The competent player quickly called and tabled KK.

Whether we would win or lose the hand pretty much came down to a flip of the coin and this time the coin landed in our favor.

This time it was an ace of diamonds on the river giving us a victory over his pocket kings and we raked in around $900 profit from this pot.

Some would say, "Who cares about table conditions? You got up 1.1k and left after only two hours? You're an idiot. That could have been the night you won 5k."

On the other hand I would argue you're only an idiot if you continue to sit in a tough game when you're already up a good amount of money or continue to sit in any kind of game when you're not on your B-game or better.

I had no problem booking this 1.1k win.

We are now up 8.95k since "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" started.

Session #11

"I am so all-American, I'll sell you suicide.
I am totalitarian, I've got abortions in my eyes.
I hate the hater, I'd rape the raper.
I am the animal who will not be himself.

Fukk it!!!

Hey victim, should I black your eyes again?
Hey victim, you were the one who put the stick in my hand.
I am the ism, my hate's a prism.
Let's just kill everyone and let your god sort them out.

Fukk it!!!

Everybody's someone else's nggr.
I know you are so am I.
I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.
I don't need to choose a side.

You better, better, better, better not see this.
You better, better, better, better not tell.

America cannot see anything.

History is written by the winner.

Fukk it!!!"

Always loved that song.

I was around sixteen years old when I first heard it.

I really identified with the line, "Everybody is somebody else's nggr, I know you are so am I."

I had felt like one for a long time.

Showing up to school and pledging allegiance to a flag that hadn't fought for freedom in decades, going to cathecism or church on Sunday and having to pray or kneel to some imaginary being, reading $hit book after $hit book my teachers gave me, and having to remember the $hit information like what year Christopher Columbus arrived in America to start genocide on the Native Americans to be considered intelligent.

I always love those skits on comedy shows now days to.....

Where they walk the streets and ask people questions like, "What year did we declare our independence from Great Britian? What is the chemical form of water's symbol? What is the third planet from the sun?"

As if remembering useless facts, dates, or information is what makes one smart. Don't let the public education system fool you. If you dropped out there's still a chance you could be the world's next genius. So stop feeling deflated as a New England Patriot's football and actually try at something. If your kids aren't bringing home all A's and B's don't panic either. They may not want to grow up to be a gloridied order taker who think's he/she is better simply because they're not taking orders at your local Mcdonalds. Encourage them to find something they're passionate about and purse that with as much verocity as our American government pursues control of the world's natural resources. They'll be alrite as long as you don't let the true idiots convince them they're stupid.

I was lucky.

I had hundreds of unpleasurable experiences with authority in my youth whether it be my parents, teachers, principals, pastors, or police and by the time I was sixteen I wasn't thinking whether or not I was smarter than them anymore. I knew I was. So, that was the age I decided to say fukk it" and stop listening to anyone but my Grandfather George, Grandmother Eda, or my Grandmother Marge. They were the ones who loved me unconditionally.

So much so that my Mom would call up my Grandmother Eda and say, "Did you hear your grandson called his history teacher a dumb fukk?" Then my Grandmother would reply, "Oh Carla. It's summer time. You know how the heat gets to those boys. Lots of kids have been acting up lately." If it was the winter my Grandmother Eda would have said, "Oh Carla. It's winter time. You know how the cold gets to those boys. Lots of kids have been acting up lately."

What got lost in the shuffle is I've never disrespected a teacher that didn't deserve it. The bastard was lying to the class (either by his own choice or own willful ignorance) that Karl Marx's idea of communism is what spawned life to "evil" leaders such as Fidel Castro or Joseph Stalin. Which was and still is laughable. I didn't deserve to be kicked out of class that day. I was within my rights to say, "So, you're going to kick me out of class because you're a dumb fukk and don't know world history?" My grandparent's trusted me on things of this nature. My parent's didn't. So, therefore the rift at times.

I never wanted anyone on my side that wasn't 100% "All in." If you want to love me, then love me. If you want to hate me, then hate me down to the bone. I don't want any inbetween. Life is better the less people you have to spend it with anyway. It gets much easier when you stop trying to be everything to everyone and just start being who you want to be for yourself.

So, obviously the line "I wasn't born with enough middle fingers," really hit home with me as well. Not to mention the "Better, better, better not see this. Better, better, better not tell," if you're familiar with the stories of 1857 Churchill.

And as I'm listening to Marilyn Manson's "Irresponsible Hate Anthem" on the stairmaster while I'm staring at some hot eighteen year old's ass on the treadmill in front of me I think to myself, "Damn, I've really made it. It's been four years since I've been someone else's nggr and thanks to poker I don't think I'm ever going to need to go back. I can truly put a middle finger up to anyone, anytime, and there's absolutely nothing they can do. The world is mine."

Later Variance says to Narcissist with a wink, "Hey. You better watch yourself."

Slimey c Unt starts trying to "Deep Six" our bankroll when we raise pocket threes to $35 from the cut off position trying to take down the pot from four limpers. Two of them call the $35, though. So, when the flop comes down 3 8s 7 rainbow there's around $125 in the pot. It checks to us and we bet $70. Some dorky looking poker goober kid who I guarantee jerks off to anime porn makes it $225. The other guy folds. We sit and act like we have a decision to make then call the $225. Turn is a 5s . The kid who jerks off to anime porn shoves all in and puts us to what he thinks is a test repping that he has a set, two pair, or straight against our perceived over pair. We quickly call off our remaining $500 and his face grimaces like a man's does when a girl only knows how to suck the tip during a blowjob. So, he's on some sort of bluff/semi draw. River card is an ace of spades and he turns over 6s7s for a turned open end straight flush draw.

No "Con" in our confidence.

We buy back in for $500 and are determined to stay on our A-game.

If we do that and look for 65%+ spots to get back to even we know we'll be able to keep this winning streak alive.

Shortly after a problem presents itself.

A player we respect sets directly to our left and 3bets us three times over the course of the next hour. Now to those of you that don't understand what being 3bet by the same guy within a hour equates to let me explain. It's like being in a bar and running your mouth, then a man of similar stature just walks up and open hand smacks you square across the face.

Now there's two choices.

1. You either start an all out brawl by hitting him back. That would be the equivalent of shoving a 4bet down this guy's throat or flat calling him/then finding a way to get it all in post flop.

2. You leave the bar because you just got smacked in front of a bunch of other people and plan to do nothing about it, which would equate to you asking for a table change.

We elect to follow a Sun Tzu piece of advice from "The Art Of War."

If you feel you can not conquer your enemy, avoid him.

And that we do.

We feel that changing seats to get on his left would be a 100% admission that we fear him . But, changing tables will make him think, "Does he fear me or is he simply smart enough to sit at a table that's going to be easier for him to make money." Or perhaps he doesn't think at all and isn't the player we expect him to be. Which can also be the case sometimes when we level ourselves into making bad calls or bad bets against certain villians.

Conditions at our new table are much better.

I feel that when in a downswing, when on your 2nd or 3rd buy in, when tired, or when clearly off your A-game a table full of a bunch of weak passives+nits is the best table to play at. Why surround yourself with villians that are capable of forcing you into mistakes when you're not at your highest level of confidence or anywhere near your A-game? Sitting at a table like this allows us to escape hands like the following.

We get AA and an ABC straight forward tight villian, a nit, and one other player have limped in. We have AA in the HJ and make it $25. The nit and one other player call. Flop is Ks 5s 2h. Nit checks. Other player checks. We bet $55 and the nit makes it $200. other player folds. Now sometimes when you are down a buy in or have just got your bell rung like in the first big hand you will try to MAKE YOURSELF BELIEVE the NIT has a KQ or KJ or K10 hand here or a flush draw. But, a NIT will never make a check/raise with a flush draw or just a king here. If the nit had a king he would lead out $50 and fold to your $150 raise because he'd put you on AK or AA. A nit is absolutely incapable of check/raising anything here. But, a set. So, we fold our AA face up and he says, "Wow. I can't believe you folded that." Then shows us 55. NITs often won't even call raises with KJ or K10. They just like to set mine.

I am not posting the above hand because I believe I am some poker savant for finding the fold there. I am posting the hand to demonstrate the importance of table selection. If I was at a table that had 2 competent villians, 2 aggro spewtards, and 2 exotic sea animals I would have had to call off there. Playing at a table where everyone's hand is essentially face up is not as profitable in the long run. But, a huge advantage when fighting variance or fighting to get back to even in a session like we are here.

This table essentially equated to Miguel Cotto and we were Floyd Mayweather landing jab after jab, combination after combination, while never stuffing anyone in our trunk with a $500+ win in a pot. But, slowly but surely working the scorecard in our favor all the way up to another respectable $1150 win. By the end of the night this table's face sure did resemble Cotto's before he was taken to the hospital for a broken jaw after the fight.

We are now up 7.85k since "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" started.

Session #10

Session #10 was originally scheduled to be played January 13th.

But, when I sat down at a table full of NITs, tight regulars, and two other players I respected I decided to pick up my chips and head back home. You see, the great thing about playing poker cash games for a living is that you're never forced to play, never forced to stay, and when you do decide to go grind you can table change over and over again until you find a table full of weaker competition. So, if you're the Seattle Seahawks, you don't have to sit down and face a lineup that equates to the New England Patriots. You can play the Oakland Raiders over and over again.

Now I know "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" is about growing as a poker player and putting our skills to the test against some tougher fields on the felt. But, when you're on a eight wins out of nine winning streak why risk losing our momentum when we can come back the next day and find a softer set of villians to bang heads with? Plus, it had been nine days since we last played anyway. Waiting one more couldn't be all that bad.

Why the long lay off you ask?

Well, for the first time in my life I am going to release my birthday in a public forum and on social media. I was born on January 4th, 1979 and no I don't have the date on my Facebook as I don't prefer my feed to be filled with a bunch of empty birthday wishes that I don't have time to write you back for and the all encompassing, "Thanks for the birthday wishes," post just isn't up my alley.

Since I've been a small child I've watched my Grandmother Marge take the time to pick up the phone and call every one of her kids, grandkids, old co-workers, and other loved ones on their birthday. I figure if anyone really cares they'll take the time to do what she does and if they don't, it's no big deal. I openly admit I'm much too selfish to remember all of your birthdays and much too busy reading ESPN news or something else really important to actually pick up the phone and call you.

Which really started to bother me when I could not remember my Mother's, Father's, Grandma's, Papa's, and some of my best friends birthdays. On top of that, 2014 was a year filled with lots of sick, twisted, and cruel variance at the poker table that I refused to relent to and I lost a lot of time that should have been spent with my friends + family. I even went through one brutal three month stretch where I put in five hundred hours and only won around 1.8k.

I got so depressed I had to walk around Home Depot a few times a week because all their employees are required to follow what's called the "Ten Foot Rule" there. Which basically means, no matter how big of loser the customer actually is, as long as he/she is within ten feet of the employee, the employee has to say, "Hello." During my darkest days all those nice "Hellos" from the friendly workers at Home Depot plus the two dollar hot dogs are what got me through. That and all the random conversations I would have with Wal-Mart greeters on the days Home Depot management threatened to call the cops on my for loitering.

You see in my cell phone I have this poker income application and I started to let it run my life. Every month if my win rate wasn't at $30.00 a hour I had to get in the casino and make sure I got my monthly win rate to $30.00+ or I would think to myself, "I'm a complete loser." Every month if my win rate was over $30.00 a hour I just had to get to the casino because now I thought "I've got the game figured out, I'm running good, and this is the month where I start to crush $2/$5 NLHE and I make $50.00 a hour." I completely lost my balance. I became obsessed with obtaining a certain win rate to validate my decision to seperate myself from the auto industry and lost focus of what was the sole reason I chose to play poker for a living anyway.

My freedom.

Five years ago I could have been driving down the road at 9:30pm after a grueling twelve hour work day at the auto dealership and if I saw an old man stalled out on the side of the road I'd have felt so exhausted, so deflated, so in a hurry to get home and unwind from my job I'd have just past him by.

If I saw the same man at 8:30am the next morning I'd have passed him by again because most bosses don't want to hear any excuses about why you're late. They just want you there on time. They need you there for that 9am meeting so they can drone on with useless rah rah, mission statements, exciting new word tracks, and more updated corporate guidelines like you're not allowed to beat off to pictures your girlfriend texted you in the company bathroom.

Basically, more $hit that makes you miserable.

That's what working a real job does to you.

It grinds on you.

It gives you less time for family, less time for friends, and certainly less time for a stranger stalled out on the side of a street that needs your help.

Whether you want to admit it or not.

That's what it does.

So, on my birthday I decided to free myself from my poker income application and deleted all my data. I'll no longer be tracking hours played. Only wins and losses and they'll all be right here in the "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" updates. In addition to deleting my poker application I penned eight letters to people important to me that I don't talk to enough.

I may choose to share some of them with you all if given permision from the receiver as I've been told my correspondence with my Grandmother during my 2012 WSOP trip is what humanized me and is what made Lotgrinder your favorite poker hero or anti-hero depending on how you want to look at it. You readers have done a lot for me and I appreciate you all giving me a voice. PokerVip + PokerPro officially offered me paid work and said I didn't even have to talk about poker strategy when I wrote. Only PokerVip ever came through with the money, though. Still pretty cool that I can get paid to run my mouth and even cooler when I meet some of you out on the road who know my entire life story.

Never forget when a guy named PJ Sheehan went out of his way to meet me in Erie, Pennsylvania and was able to recite pretty much every story I wrote about my childhood, public school, and college that's buried somewhere deep in these forums. It was a humbling experience to know that some of you follow me that closely. I figure if I've got 100, 500, 1000, 5000, or however many of you piggfukkers viewing these threads pinging the views up I better try to reach as many of you as I can then. Even if I cause just a few of you to be more open minded, to feel more empathy for others, to think for yourself, to better your life in some way, or to make you decide to be a better person then I'll have done my job.

I know we as men like to measure ourselves with how much money we make, how much weight we can throw around in the gym, how big our dicks are, how many toys we have, how much pussy we slay, and all sorts of other things that really aren't important in the grand scheme of things. But, I'd say life is really much more about what you can do for others. Even if the people you do things for can never pay you back. If you're constantly working to enhance everyone's life around you whether it be your friends, family, co-workers, or your local community you're going to be much more celebrated than the selfish people who are clearly only into anything for themselves.

So, that's one of my goals moving forward.

Rediscover communication with my friends and family.

While also finding something I can do to help my local community as well.

Anyway, I felt this was a good post to put all of the above in because Session #10 was painstakingly boring. It was played on a Wednesday and six hours into it looked like we were going to finish the day $500 down. Mainly due to bricking ten set mines for $25-$40 each time, whiffing the flop on every one of our A/K raises, and getting no action when we actually did make a premium hand where we could extract value.

I was literally about to rack up my chips when the following hand happened.

I had $580 in front of me. Both villians covered.

There was three limpers for $5 and it got to me in the hi jack with KK and I raised it to $30. I picked up two tight regulars who are normally only going to call my raises with pocket pairs, broadways, and Ax suited.

So, there was $100 in the pot when the flop came down A K 4.

It goes check/check to us and we bet $35 to show fear of the Ace and King. In hopes one of these regulars maybe makes a move and reps the ace or king trying to get us to fold with a bluff. Or if one has an Ace we want him to call $30 and give him a cheap draw to make two pair.

And that he does.

Turn is a 9.

He checks. We bet $60. He calls.

River is a 10 and he ships all in.

We snap call.

He rolls A10 we table pocket kings.

Winning this hand takes us from $500 down and puts us up $150.

We decide to call it quits shortly after.

And much like Marshawn Lynch, we're "Thankful" our winning streak is still alive.

We are now up 6.7k since "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" started.

Session #9

Today is Saturday, January 3rd.

I woke up at 8am, got the workout in, brought Bob Evans breakfast to my Grandmother, paid all my bills, and took care of a couple errands I had to run by 1pm. I love starting off weekends like this. Knowing that I've accomplished more in four hours on a Saturday morning than the average loser could in an entire week makes me feel much like a KMFDM song that was dropped in the early 90's.

"Godlike."

I ponder putting off poker for the night to get some pussy instead. But, the string of text messages I've been having with this chick disgusts me. If I'm talking to any girl it's well known I am not going to be available on most Friday or Saturday nights. So, when I text, "What's up for tonight? Do you want to hang out?" I'm not going to be surprised or offended if she's already made plans.

But, when she texts me back something completely asinine like, "Sorry I can't. I made plans with my Mom to go see a movie," my bullshit radar goes through the roof. Even though I am 99% sure she's lying, I really don't care enough to call her out on it. I've known from the start of meeting her she's one of those girls that's addicted to her cell phone. So, she's going to be one of those girls that's essentially in five to ten relationships at once and most likely never going to be happy. Definitely one that's not worth fighting for. Although at some point she may be, because she's still young you know.

Anyway...

My mind goes back to the grind as it should.

On our current quest, "Money isn't everything. It's the only thing."

And although it's not guaranteed to make you happy.

It sure as fuck won't make you sad.

Then a few hours later she texts me, "Hey. Me and my Mom's plans fell through. I can hang tonight. What did you want to do?"

Lolz.

There used to be a time when I would tolerate behavior like this. Now days it just disgusts me. She clearly never had plans with her mom or if she did she called them off to hang out with me. Which is appaling because I'd never call off spending time with my family to see a friend with benefits. If she didn't have plans with her Mom, that means she had plans with someone else. Then she decided to call them off to spend time with me or the guy she was going to see ditched out on her. So, either she is one of those girls that's always waiting for a better option to come along when she has plans or I'm playing second fiddle to some other guy that's probably a Big Boy dishwasher.

Either way, I'm offended.

Cell phones make so many of you awful awful awful people. For as much as I do self mutilate in my own writing. Lets get one thing straight. When it comes to the real character traits that matter in life. I consider myself to be Frank Serpico and most of you are the New York Cops.

Want to learn how not to be a piece of shit?

When you make plans with someone honor them.

When you're dating someone don't talk to four other people at the same time.

I had a casual conversation with someone recently who asked me to expand on the dating five people at the same time via social media, email, texting, cell phone game aps, etc.

It's simple.

A lot of you have what I refer to as "The Facebook Official" relationship. That's your #1. Your #2 is the person who you're cheating on your #1 with or who is all lined up and ready to be your new #1 if the current #1 breaks up with you or you decide to kick her/him to the curb. The #2 often moves to the #1 spot within 2 weeks to a month of the breakup. Behind your #1 and #2 you usually still have that ex-bf or gf you still talk to that wasn't a complete ** up in bed and this guy/girl can remain your #3 for sometimes years. Behind your #3 you often have girls are guys that you think are hot and you remain friendly/flirty with behind your partners back. These people are usually complete shitheads. But, they are "hot" so you'll fuck them anyway. Some of you are so desperate for attention you have a #1, two #2s, three #3s, and then multiple #4s and #5s as well.

The above is the reason why so many relationships fail in todays world.

I love each and every one of you who take the time to read my blogs. Even if you're just reading along rooting for me to fail, I wish you the best. If you found someone whose worth it I suggest you go "All in" and tell all your #2s, #3s, #4s, and #5s that you don't have any time for them because you need to put all your energy in your current relationship. I urge you to ask your partner to do the same. If he/she can't or won't then get rid of them and move on. If you're dating someone you know is worth it and you're one of those that's entertaining #2s, #3s, #4s, and #5s you better stop it now. Trust me, deciding not to be the urine stain that crusts around the inside of my toilet bowl after I forget to flush for a night will make your life a lot easier. You won't have to use that stupid cell phone lock either.

To all the good people out there in relationships giving it their all trying to make it work.

I commend you.

You've got bigger stones than me.

After chastising the young girl for a couple hours she admits she was lying about her mother and apologizes. We do not give in and go see her. But, we do reward her honesty with the promise that we will hang out soon and hopes she learns from her mistake. She is young, she is beautiful, and if she ever decides to put her best foot forward in a relationship with a man that will do the same for her she'll make a great wife. Perhaps we'll have enough time with her before she finds a boyfriend to undo the damage that the cell phone, social media, and television has done to her mind.

We can only hope.

Now onto Motor City Casino for some $2/$5 NLHE action.

First big hand comes one hour into the session.

We're sitting with $750 and our villian is an asian named Ian.

Now Ian has seen the back of a trunk more times than your kid's Easton Hockey bag if you have a child that aspires to play in the N.H.L someday.

To call his lines anything less than exotic would be an understatment.

Here's a couple hands we've played with him or seen him play before.

1. Ian goes broke and rebuys for $500. He decides to straddle for $10 the next hand and we are sitting in the big blind with pocket queens. There's 6 limps and we decide to limp along as well because Ian is on super mega monkey tilt and we know he's going to raise. Of course he jacks it up to $120 to go and everyone folds. We elect to call. The flop comes down 10 4 2 and we check to make sure Ian bluffs off more money. Ian does not let us down and ships all in for $380. We quickly call and roll QQ. The turn is a 2. The river is a K. Ian proudly rolls KJ offsuit and throws us dead in the back of his trunk. Ouch.

2. Ian limps under the gun for $5. There's like four limpers by the time it gets to a competent player on the button whose play we respect. The guy raises it to $45. Ian flat calls the $45 and it's a heads up pot. Flop is Kh 6h 10. Ian shoves all in for $700 into a $100 pot. The competent player snap calls with KQ. Ian rolls over a 3h2h flush draw and smashes the flush on the turn.

   So, Ian is not afraid to get his money all in on any draw. He's also not afraid to lose money at poker because he makes more money than God at day trading stocks. This guy is so rich he'll wear the same Hawaiian shorts for a week straight in the summer. A lot of you may be like, "Wait? Doesn't that mean he's a scrub?" No. When people have more money than God some of them do not care what they wear or care what they look like. Ian could go unshowered for a week and wear the same smelly dirty clothes. If he wants he still has enough money to pay your wife and daughter to come hum on his nuts. He also could care less about losing a G. So, this guy is capable of throwing a bluff on you at any time.

   Now onto the hand....

   A NIT raises under the gun to $30 and we believe the nit has 1010-AA or AK. So, after 2 callers of the $30 (one of them Ian) we elect to just call with our JJ. Four go to the flop.

   Flop is 10h 6h 2c. The NIT checks, other player checks, Ian bets $65. We flat the $65 because the NIT may be coming with a big CR if he has QQ to AA. But, he folds, Other guy folds and the turn is a Qc. Ian bets $95. We raise to $215. Ian thinks for a minute and shoves all in for 1k. We don't have a 1k. We have like $425-$450 back.

   We're so disugsted in this spot because that Q on the turn makes it so hard to play. Q/anything is in his range, all exotic two pairs like 10/6, 10/2, 2/6 is also in his range. But, so is a lot of flush draws with a pair. We elect to fold here because we're lost in the hand and don't feel like going down $500 early in this session when we've been running so well. We're quite sure any easier spot will come another time down the road.

   So, we take the $300 loss and wait patiently like one of our idols Ian Mckeye in "The Waiting Room."

   While we wait, we wait, we wait, and our time waters down the drain.....

   We make a small mistake.

   There's this kid who has moved up from the $1/$2 NLHE game who bought in for $300 and has ran his stack up to $600.

   We've raised the pot to $30 from utg with AK and there's two callers. One of which is the $1/$2 player on the button. The flop comes down Ks 10s 4h. We lead $75 and the $1/$2 player calls. Turn is a 8s and we check to see what he's going to do. The kid checks back. River card is a meaningless 3h. We check again and the kid bombs the pot for $220. We start lying to ourselves and think, "This fucking wannabe pro dressed with the stupid beats by dre headphones is trying to put a move on us with a whiffed JQ straight draw. Which is essentially the ONLY hand in his range we beat. If he has a K he's going to take a check back there. We elect to make the $220 call and he shows us the ace high flush.

   Lol. Owned.

   This kid wasn't going to try any exotic moves on his first night in the big leagues.

   Bad bad bad call.

   So, we're down like $400 four hours into this session and looking for some run good.

   We haven't found a real value spot to double.

   Then "Lotzilla" decides to strike again.

   We're in the small blind and only two people limp. Ian makes it $20 from the button and we elect to call with 4c5c. The two other limpers call as well. We're sitting with $500 and the flop comes down 4d 5d 7h. We check it. Checks around to Ian who makes it $55. We raise it to $155. Ian shoves all in for $500. Turn 10c river Kc. Ian doesn't turn his hand up and quickly mucks. We table our 4c5c and are now up around $150.

   From here on out we play for another 2 hours and scoop up one $100-$125 raised pot after another until six hours into our Saturday night session we're $800 up. Then we decide to lead because most of the villains at the table turned over and the competition got a little bit more stiff. I could have stayed and probably grinded a few more hours. But, I wanted to make sure the winning streak stays preserved. If you take losses hard I believe it's of utmost importance to keep securing victories as long as you've played a 5-6 hour session. Anything less than a four hour session I would consider a "manufactured win" and would never count towards my win or loss totals.

We are now up 6.6k since "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" started.

Session #8

"Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin."

"Every day I'm Hustlin." "Every day I'm Hustlin." "Every day I'm Hustlin."

"Ev Ev Everyday I'm Hustlin." "Ev Ev Everyday I'm Hustlin."

"Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin."

"Every day I'm Hustlin."

Was the track bumping from what looked to be something like a lowered 1994 Ford Tempo that had been all wigger'd out with tinted windows, rims, and other modifications besides the Jets Pizza sign duct taped to the top.

"Wow. I've never met this delivery driver," I thought.

"Hope the manager told him just like all the others that if he forgets my pizza sauce or ranch with the Jet bread I'll send the whole god damn order back," because I will. I even had the powers that be at my local Jets Pizza place a note on my account in their customer relations management system. I've always had a real short fuse when it comes to this kind of thing.

Someone fukking up an order as simplistic as mine or not greeting me within five minutes of being sat down in a restaurant leaves me madder than a wet cat bolting for cover after it's been drenched. I saw my Grandfather tell a waitor at an upscale restaurant once to, "Feed that fukking filet to your chef because my grandson isn't eating it," when I was just a little boy and I've had the same attitude since whenever I am paying for food. If you can't prepare it the way I ask. I don't want it. Even if it's something as trivial as forgetting a side of sauce that's supposed to go with it. Sorry hoss, take it back and feed it to your boss.

Anyway, when this bronzed turd of a ride's door finally creaks open it's some fat wigger ginger nodding his head to the beat. My first reaction is to call him a honkey to bring him back down to earth. But, I don't feel like getting into a fistfight as I'm still hungover from the New Years Eve. Still, as he is slowly waddling his way up the stairs to my front door he's smiling a little bit too much for my liking and I'm really pissed off.

I feel tired and empty as one hundred Facebook birthday wishes a thousand times over and this guy is all smiley about "Hustling. Hustling. Hustling. Hustling" what's going to be a two dollar tip out of me.

Why does my life suck so bad?

When I open the door he says, "Here's your bread sir. That will be $11.27."

As I am taking the pizza with my left hand, I hand him a $10 and $5 bill with my right hand. "Just give me $2 back," I reply. Then I find out what his hustle is all about.

"Awww $hit man. I'm all out of ones," he says. "Do you got a few dollar bills?"

Motherfukker is trying to pull a fast one on me for a $3.73 tip and knows the day after NYE I'm going to be hungover as fukk and I need this god damn Jet Bread. "** him," I think. "I'll just call the store and use my credit card over the phone. So, that's what I do and I only leave him a $1.00 tip because he tried to pull a fast one on me. Sorry you fat fukk. Not today. I win.

Or so I thought....

Because here the plot does twist.

I waddle my own fat ass up the stairs to my bedroom. Plop down in front of this computer I am typing on right now. Then open www.espn.com on my browser so I can read all the sports stories I want while I slobbing down this greasy garlicy cheese bread, ranch, and pizza sauce. As I prepare to feed my face I'm on cloud nine because I just essentially owned that fat wigger's life by thwarting his attempt to steal $2.00 from me. But, when I finally open the box to eat what I had waited long over a hour for there was no ranch dressing or pizza sauce.

"Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin."

"Every day I'm Hustlin." "Every day I'm Hustlin." "Every day I'm Hustlin."

"Ev Ev Everyday I'm Hustlin." "Ev Ev Everyday I'm Hustlin."

"Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin Hustlin."

"Every day I'm Hustlin."

I thought, "Damn. That fat bastard did catch me slipping."

So smooth how he threw that curveball at me. I didn't even take the time to check the box to see if the two sauces were there because he knew I'd be distracted by him trying to work me for the additional $2.00 USD. I wondered if it was him or the manager that dialed up that pitch on me. But, they froze me while I was one run down with two men on in the bottom of the ninth and struck me out looking at the last pitch.

Sometimes you have to be gracious in defeat so I decided to just suck that one up.

Good game Jets Pizza, Detroit, located on 4718 Anthony Wayne Drive.

They'll be a next time.

So, as I make my way into Motor City Casino I am obviously angry again.

And much like the opening track to Megadeth's "Countdown To Extinction" I escape going broke in my first big hand by "The Skin Of My Teeth."

The table reflected much of American society itself....

Weak, passive, uninformed, bored, lonely, and distracted.

Was sitting next to a sharp dressed guy with a fierce brohawk who showed me pics of his hot girlfriend. Didn't stop him from being on TendR for four hours. Probably one of those guys who will fukk a complete ditch pig behind his girlfriend's back then call her a whore for dating a new guy a week after she breaks up with him. We shall call him Glamour Boy.

You know....

I think it's sad that we as men have become such over emotional fukkwits. The amount of you who lie to girls for sex or try manipulating them into sex is laughable as well. I mean even Tiger Woods was telling hood rats he loved them to get pussy. (It's true. Check the text messages he sent.) Sad we live in a world where Tiger Wood's doesn't even know he can get his dick sucked for just being Tiger Woods. One of the best golfers ever.

Sex has become increasingly less meaningful to everyone. No girls are wanting to wait until marriage anymore. By the time they are thirteen they want to get banged the same way they saw online at Brazzers and by time they are twenty one they've had at least five hundred losers like you send them a "Hey".."What's Up".."Plans for tonight?".."Plans for this weekend?".."I had a dream about you".. or whatever canned messages you send out that gives them all this false sense of confidence and desirability.

So, when you tell them you're not looking for anything serious and just want to have fun/sex now days they really gear up for the challenge.

None ever really get upset.

In fact, most will respect you for it.

If they do decide to fukk you and you can go more than a hour without telling your loser friends about it they'll even do more for you.

God I used to suck at getting pussy.

Eventually, you learn it's just like any old card game that can be played that requires initial attraction, simple strategy, well timed moves, and aggression then things get easier.

My prediction is that relationships as we know it will almost be dead within 15-20 years unless people make a concious effort to detach themselves from social media and their cell phone. Most of you are essentially in five relationships at a time. The one you take the time to post pics of on Facebook, then four others in various lesser stages behind it in case your Facebook official one falls apart. I'm not saying all of you are cheating on one another. But, most of you are laying the groundwork for it to happen or providing yourself the outlet for a seamless transition into the next relationship that will fail because the thought of being alone is terrifying as turning off your cell phone for a weekend.

Proof that relationships as we know it are dying are sites like www.ashleymadison.com, www.sugardaddy.com, and www.seekingarrangement.com. The latter two are being flooded with new women signing up each day and glorified on our television screens. Eventually, most girls will finally smarten up, realize the power they hold, and start selling themselves off to the highest bidders that don't look like complete droolers. I know one so jaded from Grand Rapids she started hustling her box at the golf course when she was sixteen. Now she's in Los Angeles on a $120,000.00 a year payroll and basically just has to let her Sugar Daddy beat the $hit out of her a couple times a month during sex when he's in town. Any other time he's gone she free to do whatever she wants. Thankfully, that includes seeing a loser like me.

I was picking her brain one day after we got done doing some rips out of a rig for wax that I thought was a water bong and she said, "I only really feel shame now days if I have sex and don't get paid. The way I look at it is that I've placed myself at the top of the food chain. Men can no longer exploit me. Instead I exploit them."

I bet you're wondering.

How did you meet this girl?

Simple.

How is any guy in his thirties going to meet any girl who is 18-21?

Good looks, good drugs, status, or money.

Obviously, I had good drugs when I met her at Movement music festival in Detroit.

Somehow, someway we got onto talking about webcam modeling and I've dated a few girls who have done that in my day. Figured I always had a penchant for homemade pornography and taking naked pics of my girlfriends. So, I figured girls in that industry could fulfill my kinks and I wouldn't have to cheat on them. This girl said she had thought about getting in that line of work. Then she started talking about her sexscapades at the golfcourse with millionare golfers and selling her vagina to rich guys she met at the Brookstone store where she worked. She even told me how one sick fukk architect with a wife and three kids got a Titleist golf ball stuck up inside her.

"What the fuck? Who in the fuck wants to stick a golf ball up a teenage pussy?" I asked.

"I know. Disgusting, right? What really disgusts me now is I only got $500 a night from him." She replied.

I was like, "Ohh. You're pissed you didn't get max value out of the sale. I play poker for a living and I get iRate when I fukk up and I don't get max value out of the hand I play." So, that started the conversation and one thing lead to another.

In fact, one of the posters from this forum (Pay4MySchool) was at the music festival.

I remember meeting him and he was telling me that he was about to go check out the stage where some $hit dubstep dj was playing and he had a smoking hot chick with him.

I promptly offered him some free MDMA and he said, "No thanks. I don't do drugs."

I was thinking, "Wow. This kid is nuts. He's going into that fucking jungle with all those animals sober? I don't know if the bastard is going to make it out alive."

So, I'm like, "You sure you just don't wanna take some? I don't want to send you in that circus empty handed you know. If things get too hectic you can just throw the drugs I give you in the air to clear a path and get out of there."

He thanked me for the offer. But, politely declined again. I was happy to see him a few days later at the poker room showing no signs of injury with all his limbs still attached. I don't think I'd ever want to go up against him in a big pot. The motherfukker has balls of steel.

Anyway, onto the hand....

We raise to $25 with 6c7c utg 2. (We are sitting with $700)

Glamour boy quickly calls as does a tight reg who is probably set mining or has a broadway hand like A10+, KJ+ or Q10+.

The tight reg is not going to play back at us ever. Glamour boy is capable of playing back at us for sure. He is competent. But, we've been friendly with him so we don't expect him to make plays back at us and we think he might be thinking the same thing about us if we get into a big pot.

The flop comes 9 5 2 rainbow.

We lead $45 and glamour boy makes it $145.

The tight regular folds.

So on a 9 5 2 rainbow board we hold top pair with a 7 kicker.

We range glamour boy at having 22-88, 1010, 97 to 9A or just plain air trying to steal against our AK for $100. He is thinking, 'Why not. This board misses this big pussy's range and he'll fold. We elect to call and see what he does on the turn.

Now the turn pairs the 5.

This means glamour boy does not have 55, hardly ever has 99, and his range is down to just 9x, 22, 33, 44, 88, 1010, or just plain air. We check again and he bets $200.

If he has 33, 44, 88, 9x or 1010 he is most likely going to check turn in fear of bloating the pot against our JJ-AA range.

If he has air he has to bet again to steal the pot. If he has 22 he is going bet for value.

So when he bets the $200 we place him on air or 22.

We call the $200 so he can keep bluffing the river and the board pairs the 9.

We have around $330 back and the effective nuts unless he has quads 55 and decide to check.

Thankfully, glamour boy puts us on JJ-AA and put us all in trying to get value from that range.

We snap call and roll our 9c7c.

Glamour boy looks disgusted and rolls 22.

He had us the entire way and for once in my life I can say I am officially running good at Motor City Casino's $2/$5 game. We were running about 6% against his hand. Can't believe I leveled myself into thinking this guy was trying to outplay me when he was letting me know on EVERY SINGLE STREET he had me beat. I let my ego get the best of me and didn't want to be bluffed off a pot by a sharp dressed kid with a brohawk mainly because I hated him for being a Tendr working toolbag. So, I guess if you're reading this you know the best way to own me at the poker table and get value from me. Dress like you're going to fist pump at some $hit nightlub like Bleu in Detroit, Mi or Electricity in Pontiac, Mi. Then bet every street for max value against me when you have a good hand. That will break me real quick.

Whew. Felt good to be lucky.

From there on out our session was smooth sailing and we stuck to Debo'ing unsophisticated villains unwilling to adjust to table dynamics and play back against us/our range. I don't want to fool you into thinking I was some sort of LAG master at the table or anything. It was mainly all value extraction from SB-MP2 with more aggressive play from hj-otb when we got the right field of limpers.

We were able to net another 1.1k from this six hour session.

We are now up 5.8k since "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" started.

Session #7

So, I get done taking that piss and start to get ready to take the trek back home to Detroit. There's half a blunt left on the nightstand and Jessica says, "You should smoke this with me." I figure, "Why not? It's only going to make the chinese food I am about to eat on my way home taste better." So, I indulge. Shortly after I am cruising at the brisk pace of 55 mph on I-75 North thinking to myself, "God. I am such a loser. How do potheads function?"

Should have gotten to Hawaiian Island Restaurant in thirty minutes, instead it took me over forty five. As always, my first boss Lee was excited to see me. "Hi Jushtin. You sit anywhere you like," he says as I make my way through the big red door.

After I give my order to the waitress he comes over and makes small talk. Then he politely reminds me, "Any time you need job. I hire you Jushtin. I always need dishwasher." I'm so **ing high I start to wonder, "Is he just being nice or is he needling me that I used to wash dishes for him?" This is why I don't smoke weed. It brings upon paranoia and makes me analyze things way too much.

I still remember the first night I worked at this place like it was yesterday. I mean it was the first time I was essentially a slave for a pre-determined amount of time and selling off my life by the hour. I think he was buying sixty minutes of my existence at the time for $4.25 USD.

I wasn't real happy with the pay, to say the least. But, I knew taking the job would make my Grandfather George proud. He did everything for me as a kid. So, I decided I could grin and bear it through washing dishes for eight hours as long as I could listen to my music.

Within the first few hours on the job my new master was tapping me on the shoulder saying, "No Walkman. No headphone. Your job to wash dish."

I asked, "Did I do something wrong?"

He said, "No."

Then I asked him what the point was of having me remove my headphones.

He said, "I said no walkman. No headphone. Your job to wash dish. You listen."

"Sorry. You wash these dishes with no walkman or headphones. I quit. I don't need your money. I took this job to make my Grandfather happy. I can find another dishwashing job where I can wear headphones," I replied.

I had nothing to lose. It was a minimum wage job. Sure, I didn't want to get fired on the first day. But, I'd have been damned if anyone was going to purposely try to make my life more miserable by not letting me listen to music while performing manual labor. Plus, I knew if Lee fired me either him or one of his chefs were going to have to do the dishes that night and in this world no one wants to lower themselves.

I knew I won my first power struggle with him when he replied, "You wear headphone. You wash dish quick. You wash dish good. No problem. You keep job Jushtin and make Grandpa happy."

And that I did.

My Papa even framed my first check.

So, I've always had some sort of connection to this Hawaiian Island restaurant.

In fact, if you ever want to kill me just bring a shit ton of cocaine or adderall and park your car outside of this place for a week. I usually arrive between noon and four pm. All I ask is that you let me finish my egg drop soup, shrimp egg roll, almond chicken, and fountain coke before you put a cap in my ass. If you could also do me a favor, I'd appreciate you dropping off the to go order of pork fried rice to my Grandmother Marge as well because she lives right down the street.

Thanks.

When I arrived with my Grandmother's order of pork fried she asked, "You doing anything for New Years Eve?"

"Nothing too exciting," I repled. I mean I just fucked Jessica Rabbit the night before. Not like I'm going to pull She-Ra tonight. So, I go on to tell her that since "Grandma Said Knock You Out" I am up 2k at the poker table and everything is back heading in the right direction as far as my job goes.

She asks if I have any New Years resolutions.

I reply, "Yes....balance."

She agrees I need it.

Which is one of the reasons why "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" is being broadcasted over a thirty session period instead of thirty days.

I decided that I wanted to play thirty sessions of my best poker, while on as close to my a-game as possible over the course of two months. So, I have time to see my friends and family rather than just jamming it all in as quickly as possible.

I also decided that I wanted to release the results of my sessions 3-10 days after they happen because when I do take the time to hammer on this keyboard and blog I don't want to be dropping any Billy Idol "Cyberpunk's" on you.

No sense in rushing things.

I'd much rather take the time needed to ensure I'm throwing down classics like "Monie Monie," "The Cradle Of Love," and "Rebel Yell."

Always loved the lyrics at the end of that track...

"I'd sell my soul for you babe.
For money to burn with you.
I'd give you all, and have none, babe.
Just to, just to, just to, to have you here by me."

Makes me think about true love you know.

The kind that often occurs only when you meet someone new.

The kind that's so powerful, so heavy, and so intense it can only be captured for brief amounts of time.

Usually six months to a couple years.

Then it slowly fades and eventually all you're left with is an agreement to be with one another.

Even though the spark that ignited the fire is long gone.

That's why I don't do relationships.

That's why I don't do marraige.

I'm much too selfish these days.

I want that love Billy Idol is singing about in those lyrics all the time and so do you.

But, most of you are too afraid to admit it.

You need the commitment.

You need the contract.

Until you find the next person who makes you feel like...

"I'd sell my soul for you babe.
For money to burn with you.
I'd give you all, and have none, babe.
Just to, just to, just to, to have you here by me."

Then you stay with your signifigant other until you know you can have a seamless transition into the next relationship because you're weak and that's what people do now days.

Does anyone have the courage to be alone anymore?

I doubt it.

Most of you can't even put down your cell phone for a hour.

So, when this young NIT at the Motor City Casino $2/$5 NLHE table finally put down his Galaxy V after a hour and raised from under the gun I knew he had 1010-AA or AK. That's the great thing about NITs. When they raise you almost always know what they have and as long as you're sitting in position with 150+bbs deep you can take shots at doubling through them.

Sure, it was $35 to go. But, I had $900 in front of me and the nit had $700 in front of him. So, I'm getting 20-1 odds when I call him OTB with Qh9h. Now again, I run good here and the flop comes 9c 8c 9d. This kid has seen me raise the flop in spots like this with flush draws, straight draws, and even air sometimes trying to fold out AK.

The NIT chooses to bet $55 and I quickly raise to $200. The NIT thinks about just shipping all in. But, he chooses to just call and see what the turn card brings. When a NIT does this they are usually just making sure a club or a card that completes the J10 straight doesn't hit the board. Then when the turn is a card that misses our perceived flush draw or straight draw range they shove all in. Which thankfully is what happens here when a 5h hits the board.

So, the nit is all iRate we called his $35 open with Q9. But, that's ok when we know he will stack off to us every time he has a good overpair. I actually used to not call in spots like this with my Q9. But, I've been opening my game up more lately as I am learning what players I can fold out of the pot with well times aggression or what players will always stack off with an overpair.

After this our confidence is at an all time high much like a dirty hippy collecting cash while running a nitrous tank at a music festival.

Then we get a little bit too carried away.

It's a straddled pot and we're in the big blind. There's six limps by the time it gets to us and that means there's around $75 of dead money in the pot we can steal.

So, we raise that bitch up to $60 to go.

An older man wearing a puma jumpsuit flat calls our raise from early position and everyone else folds.
There's $200 in the pot and the flop comes 5 5 8 rainbow.

The two cards we hold does not matter as we are going to win this pot with brute force so we lead out a $120 to fold out all his Ax, Kx hands. The old timer thinks for a minute then calls. He's deep to. So, we can bluff again on the turn to let him know we mean business.

The turn card is a 10. Not a great card for us as we prefer a K or an A so we can rep that we have Ace/King and just hit. But, we've invested $180 into this pot and we're not going to be a pussy and stop betting at it now. We bet $250. The old timer thinks and calls again.

The river is an Ace.

Our villain has around $500 left.

We ponder putting him to the test for $500 and repping the ace.

But, before we do we take the time to examine him.

He is showing no signs of fear and when we look underneath the table the motherfukker is wearing flip flops and socks. God damn it. We should have known all the time. This guy is a hustler through and through. So, we elect to check and give up. He shoves all in.

I turn over my trash and say, "I knew I couldn't bluff you off it."

He turns over his pocket aces and says, "I was hoping you would try."

As he's raking in our $430 he gives us a wink.

He essentially invited us over to his home. Took us out to his garage. Popped open the trunk to his 2015 Cadillac Deville. Told us to take a look inside at all the room for his golf clubs. Then kicked us in the ass and slammed the hood on us when we were least expecting it.

All that's left is the whining, kicking, and screaming while he's transporting us to the taxidermist.

Owned.

Thankfully we're able to "Shake It Off" like that $hit pop song and all our other moves work for the remainder of the session.

One of which I noted to talk about here was the following....

I've been making it a habit to steal out of my small blind and big blind often. I mean at least ten times a 8 hour session if the table conditions are right. What I need to have happen is 2-4 regs limp and no more than one call station or exotic limp. Then I open to $35-$45 out of the SB or BB. If a reg calls you THEY ARE set mining and will fold to a flop bet 75% of time or a double barrel on the turn another 75% of the time. If they call the flop and turn they are not folding river. If an exotic or call station calls you. It's a different animal. But, always bet 75% of pot on flop. Then re-evaluate the turn. Don't light money on fire.

In this particular hand five regs limp and one exotic. I have J9 offsuit in Sb. I make it $45 to go and it folds around to a reg OTB who is down a G for a day so he says, "I'll give you some action. Let me see if I can get lucky." The flop comes down 2d 3d 4h. There's around $120 in the pot and I slide out $80. He tank calls and I know he has an overpair or Ax and is going to peel one card. The turn is an 8. He has $300 left. I bet $200. This guy actually tanks and folds Ad9d. Lol. So lucky he didn't just shove flop. I said, "Wow. Didn't think you'd call me that light. I didn't have a pair. But, I had you beat. I had AK." He said, "I thought so. I don't know what I would call you with a weak ace."

Which further proves the calling range I have for a lot of these TAGS/REGS who like to limp in pots.

Also note, if multiple regs call or a reg and an exotic call I often shut down. Really depends on board texture and image you got going if multiple callers call you.

I figure playing out of position against REGS or TAGS where you absolutely know their range and know they will never make moves on you is ok. It's like position doesn't even matter at that point. It's all about our agression, how scary the board looks, and how scary our double barrel looks against their range.

We steal all the time while in position.

Why not steal from out of position if table conditions are right?

We are now up 4.7k since "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak Started."

Session #6

"You see the kid in the ten seat with the Jesus t-shirt on? By the looks of him I can tell he's smoked meth and he won't shut up about how he just won $12,000.00 on a bad beat jackpot. Given that information, plus the fact he's wearing that shirt I can tell you for sure he's one of those born again Christian fukks that needed to find God to get off drugs. So, I guarantee he thinks that bad beat jackpot win was a sign from god that he should try to play poker for a living. What he doesn't know is that I'm here to show him how cruel god can be," was the first text I ever sent to my friend Rex in regards to the villain I found myself up against in the first big hand of Session #6.

Thankfully we're up 3-0 against this guy when it comes to who has stuffed who in the back of a trunk. Each time he's been up against us in a hand he's got all his chips in the pot with only a small % chance to beat us and this time is no different. The table is full of weak passives. So, we decide to open up our raising range wide as washed up pornstar Jenna Jamenson's vagina. Any pair, any Ax suited, any A10+, K10+, suited connector, or even outright trash is good to go against these pissants.

Tonight we are the United States foreign policy objectives and our opponents chip stacks represent the nations whose natural resources we'd like to gain control of...

We will stop at nothing, even outright murder, until we have conquered and assimilated them all.

Now onto the crucifying of the Jesus freak.

From the times we've played with him before we know his pre-flop raising range is pretty snug. He's sitting with $700 and opens up to $30 from early positions. This is almost surely 99-AA, Ak or Aq. There's one ABC standard rec regular who calls and by the time it gets to us in the cut off. We decide to 3bet to $85 because if the meth head has KK-AA he will spazz shove all in and we lose $85. If he has 99-JJ he will most likely fold or perhaps try to hit a set. If he has QQ I can see him not letting go of it unless an A or K hits the board. (Which we will rep if that happens and try to bluff him out.) If he has AQ he is also likely to fold. If he has AK he will just call and check/fold if he misses to our continuation bet.

We are holding 8c9c and sitting with $900 effective.

Meth head calls. ABC standard rec player calls to and his range is strictly pocket pairs set mining or AK.

We run good and the flop comes down 6c 7c 3h.

Meth head bets $200 announcing he definitely has an overpair or is donking his AK and will fold to an all in.

ABC standard rec folds quickly.

We ship all in and our god loving friend ponders the call.

So, we know he is not holding AK. He's definitely got 99-QQ. He finally calls and says, "I hope you got pocket 10's or jacks."

As the turn and river comes out he hopes and prays that his Queens are good.

And like many who hope and pray...

It's the last thing he does before he is defeated.

The turn was a brick. But, the river was a club giving me a flush. I scoop the pot and as he's leaving the poker room with his only two white $1.00 chips that remain he throws them into the same place I threw the free bible they gave me at Isabella County Jail in 2003.

The trash.

So, we're up a G note early and it's the night before New Years Eve. Obviously, my friend Officer Sullivan wants to make plans for the next evening. Therefore, my phone is much like your ex-girlfriends on a Friday or Saturday night after she's stopped giving you the pussy and you won't leave her alone because you've left yourself with no other options.

It's blowing up.

He says, "You get the nitrous tank. I'll leave bro. You get the cocaine. I'll stay. We're 40 years old bro. Time to stop being fucking losers. Time to step into the big leagues. So what if all the blow for $200 an 8ball sucks now days? Find the guy whose got one for $300 bro. I'm serious. I'll buy it. Man up."

Later he adds, "Molly? Fuck molly bro. Sorry. I don't feel like killing myself two days after anymore. I can't take the downtime bro. I've got workouts to get in. I got a life. I'm not just some loser that can loaf around the house being depressed crying while watching Lifetime movies. Last time I took molly I almost ended up on Plenty Of Fish. But, jerked off to this hot chick who added me on Facebook. Thank god I have Cialis. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't jack my dick."

I'm cracking up as I watch my friend Rex stuff a well known NIT named Mays in the back of his trunk with one of my plays.

You see a NIT is a man that plays very few hands. So, he gets super attached to the hands he does play stage four clinger style. When you know for sure these kind of players have 2nd best hands they just can't fold you have to go for max value. Even if it means a massive overbet in certain spots.

In this particular hand it was a six way limped pot and the flop came down 4s 10s 6h. My friend Rex was first to act under the gun with pocket sixes and a flopped set. He checked. To his dismay it checked through and the turn card was a Js which made a flush. Rex's set of 6's was now beat by a flush. But, he bet $20 just to see where he was at in the hand. Mays raised to $80 announcing he had a flush. Rex pondered the call to make it look like he may have had a king high flush. Mays surely had the nut ace high flush. The river paired the board. A 4 came down giving Rex a full house. There was only $180 in the pot. Rex lead out $400 and the NIT (Mays) quickly called.

Now, normally Rex would have bet $150 on that river. But, over the past few months we've been discussing the best ways to bait certain bucks so we can land a kill shot on them to get em in the back of the trunk. Overbetting big in pots against NITS who get more attached to their hands than you get to the only hot girlfriend you had in your life is one of them.

Mays is a really nice guy.

Part of me would have used to feel sorry for him at the table.

Much like life itself over time this game will turn your blood, flesh, and bones to hard wires, cold metal, and circuitry if you let it.

The more I play with no empathy the more and more I don't know which version of me it is that I love.

Got no reflection.

Forgot how fun it is to not want to chum it up or be friends with anyone.

After a while we're sitting with 1.8k in front of us and every god damn player's gong at the table is rattling. Rex and I have been having our way with our mallets and if I had to pick a song to describe the mood I'd say it would be none other than Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch's "Good Vibrations."

Just when I thought things couldn't get any better this girl from Maumee, Ohio who looks like Jessica Rabbit texts me and wants to hang out. I met this girl through another girl I know that's a webcam model and I was lucky enough to be high on mdma the first night I had sex with her so I was able to put in an all star performance. So, she'll text me a couple times a month and it's the guaranteed meet up half way between Maumee and Detroit at a hotel off of I-75.

A lot of you might ask, why not have her come stay the night at your condo?

Well, I do have a really nice condo downtown Detroit by all the night life, casinos, and sports stadiums. But, I'm also kind of loser that lives with his roommate and fiancé. On top of that, there's always people partying at my condo on the weekends and this girl is sort of an introvert. She fears meeting new people.

So, I opt for the hotel rendezvous instead and having sex with girls at hotels has it's advantages anyway. Any of you that actually get laid know this. You could ask your girlfriend to try anal at home she'll give you that look like your Mom did when she found your stash of porn. But, if you take her on vacation or to the right hotel not only will she let you try fucking her in the ass, she might let you tape it.

That's why a hotel is always fine with me.

Plus, this girl just got out of a relationship with a loser.

One of those broke guys that's going to end up 26 years old and serving me at the local Chiptole. His hands will be trembling as he takes my money because he'll forget to try to and upsell me the guacamole for $1.95 USD and his fat fucking cunt manager will be standing behind him all pissed off he doesn't take his minimum job wage seriously.

I don't know whether to be sad good looking girls fuck guys like these or happy they do because I'm in my thirties and getting more twenty one year old pussy than when I was in college and I've never even had to lie or mislead to do it.

In fact, the girl I decided to go meet at a hotel had asked me before, "Why don't you want to add me on Facebook?"

I replied, "Because I don't want to see all the losers you interact with."

She laughed and said, "No. Probably because you use your Facebook to hit on other girls."

Then I let her read some of my posts.

That was the last time she ever had concerns about me using my Facebook to pursue dates with other women.

Anyway, her only request was that I bring some of the high quality marijuana a friend of mine grows and a pack of grape swisher sweet blunts. While she's preparing the blunt I ask her what the features and benefits of the blunt is as compared to the traditional joint rolled with the zig zag papers. She goes on to tell me that the blunt can hold more marijuana, it burns longer, tastes better, and is great to be past around amongst groups. I go on to tell her that if I was a pothead and had kids I would like to name them Zig and Zag. She laughs. She likes my jokes. This is good. Shortly after we start to make out and she gives me a blowjob.

The next morning I wake up to take a piss and think to myself, "Wow. What a great night. Won 1.3k and got laid. Hmm. Weird. What the **? Why does my dick smell like a grape?"

Oh yeah...................

We are now up 3.5k since "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak Started."

Session #5

After the unfavorable results of Session #4 I decided to head to my Grandmother's place in Brownstown, Michigan for the weekend. Thankfully, I was able to muster up enough will power to skip treating myself to a double Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Mcflurry with caramel at the local Mcdonalds while I was on my way. I would have surely stopped for one. But, as I was driving down I-75 southbound I thought about a conversation with my friend Officer Sullivan I had just a few weeks back.

I remembered him asking, "When you were a fat fukk what was your go to bro? What food did you eat to make you happy? I need to know bro. Tell me."

I answered that, "I really didn't have a go to. I just ate too much unhealthy food too often. That's how I got up to around two hundred forty pounds."

"Fine. Don't want to tell me bro. I'll go first," he said. "I used to be so fat I was over two fifty. I used to want to fight with the inmates at the jail over the bear claws bro. These things had like what? 450 calories? I ate three every morning. Standard. Hmm. Gee. Wonder why I was so fat bro? Right? Then I'd drink like seven gatorades because gatorades have electrolytes and are supposed to be good for you? Right? No bro. Sorry. Found out they aren't good for much if you're doing nothing like a fat fucking loser. That was my life bro."

"So the bear claw was your go to?" I asked.

"Nope. Not even close. Wait for it bro." He said.

I started laughing.

"Ready?" He asked. "Double whopper with cheese. Heavy all bro. That was my go to."

"What the fuck is heavy all?" I exclaimed.

"It's like where they put extra cheese, extra lettuce, extra onions, extra tomatoes, and so much fucking ketchup and mayo the top of the bun can't even stay on bro. It just slides right off unless you hold it bro. That was me. That was my go to," he said.

"God damn. That's fucked up," I replied. "When did you decide to get healthy?"

"One day I was just driving home from work bro. I was a loser. My wife had fucked a biker. The guy who sold me my condo ripped me off and I found out that they weren't going to complete the complex. So like my 150k investment was worth a $5.00 Hot N Ready pizza and I was just so sad bro. I pulled into the Burger King located on Dix + Eureka and ordered a double whopper combo meal heavy all. When I bit into it I started crying bro. It tasted so good. I had tears, ketchup, mustard, mayonaise, pickle juice dripping down my face bro. I was so sad. That was the last time I ever ate one. You ready to tell me what your go to was bro?" He asks.

Laughing uncontrollably I replied, "I told you I didn't have a go to. But, I can tell you something I did recently that could put me in the running for slob of the year."

"Awww. Hell yeah. Now we're talking. Give it to me bro," he says as he jumps up out of his seat all excited motoining his arms inward like a basketball player begging for the ball.

"Well, you know I love the Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Mcflurry with the extra caramel dropped in their right?" I confess.

"Yup. Those are awful for you bro. Go on." He says.

"Well, the other day I watched football with my one of my friends and I smoked some weed with him. When he left I still had the munchies so I decided to make a trip to Mcdonalds and the last few times I ordered extra Reeses Peanut Butter cups in the Mcflurry they kind of shorted me like the coc fiend who always weighs his grams at .8."

"Yeah bro. I fucking hate losers like that. Go on. Continune." He says.

"So, I'm on my way to Mcdonalds and I'm like 'You know what. Fuck these assholes. I'm taking a stand. I'm not getting shorted on my Reeses Peanut Butter Cups today.' I decide to stop at the gas station and buy one of those big bags of them that have em all wrapped in the gold paper."

"Like that orange bag that has a bunch of them all wrapped in the gold paper? He asks.

"Yup. That one," I reply. "Then I make my way to the drive thru and order my Mcflurry. As I'm waiting to pay the $2.89 USD I'm also franticly unwrapping the small cups so that they're ready to be dropped in and stirred as soon as I get my ice cream treat bro. If that's not sloblife until you die I don't know what is..."

"God we're such fat fucking losers bro," he exclaims. "I bet it tasted awesome, though. Didn't it?"

"Incredible." I replied.

So, as I got off exit 32 and headed towards Fort street I was determined to make it to South Glen Apartments without any stops for junk food along the way. Thankfully, I make it to my destination sugar free as the diet pop that gives you all cancer. But, I'm feeling empty as one thousand abortion cribs and it's not even midnight. So, I say to my 1/4 bar of xanax, "I can't sleep until I devour you," indulge, turn off my cell phone, and drift off into a peaceful slumber.

Sometimes when you know there's better days ahead.

You just need to sleep for a while.

My Grandmother wakes me up the next morning around 11am with a fresh batch of pancakes and some bacon on the table. I am so lucky to have her. She is this celestial being who only knows how to love unconditionally and despite all the $hit I've put her through over the years, she still likes to make me breakfast.

While we are eating we get on to talking about what happened the night before at the casino and she says, "You going to go back and play tonight."

"No," I reply. "I think I am going to go to the gym and hang out down here tonight."

"Well aren't all the bad players out on Saturday night?" She asks. "You said Friday and Saturday are the days you make most your money. You said the only way you start to feel better after a big loss is to go back and put a win on the board. You don't have to stay down here all night and visit me. Go win some money and come back tomorrow and we'll watch the Detroit Lions game."

So, I was already starting to feel like L.L. Cool J back in the mid 80's after his "Momma Said Knock You Out," when my Grandmother Marge told me I needed to stop being a pussy and get back to the casino where I could crack some skulls at the poker table.

But, I wasn't 100% sure I was ready to play again until I saw a fat white trashy looking dude wearing a pair or wrangler jeans with a t-shirt that said, "It's not Mondays I hate so much. It's just my job that sucks," at the Speedway gas station.

Seeing that masterpeice on display was a quick reminder of how lucky I am to not have to participate in the 9-5 rat race and grind quickly came back on the mind. I couldn't wait to get back to Detroit and play poker. On top of that, "Grandma Marge Said Knock You Out," right?

No way I could lose.

So, I'm sitting at a Motor City casino $2/$5 NLHE table and an instant classic hand breaks out. It's me against a thugged out black guy sporting an afro with a yellow hair pick who once told me in 2012 he had $2,000 on the money line of Tim Tebow's Denver Broncos vs Tom Brady's New England Patriots. He's the same guy who got kicked out for blurting, "Michael Sam is a fgt. I sure as fuck want him on my team. God hates him to," one night.

I'm sitting with around $800 (+$300 at the time) and have JJ under the gun +2. I make it $30 to go. There's a total of three callers. So, around $120 in the pot when the flop comes down Jh 8h 2c. I lead $100 and everyone folds accept the black guy and he calls quickly. The turn is a 3d. I am almost positive the black guy has a flush draw or an open end straight draw as he's not going to call my $100 bet with a jack (because we have three jacks in our hand, so very unlikely he has one.) Also, he's not going to call with an 8 or a 2 as he's played with us before and has respect for our game. So, we're pretty certain he has a flush draw here and this is the kind of guy who absolutely will not fold a flush draw or straight draw if he feels it's coming. So we overbet the pot and make it $500 for him to draw at the flush or straight.

"Damn," he says. "I've got queen nine of hearts." Which gives him a flush draw and an inside straight draw. Roughly a 23%-24% chance to beat us here with one card to come.

"Nice hand," I say. "You should call."

"You want me to?" He asks.

"No comment," I reply. "I've begged for calls in these spots before and got sucked out on. It's up to you."

Then he calls the $500.

As an ace of hearts hits the river he stands up and smacks his cards down on the table.

"Respect my gangster game," he yells.

Clearly forgetting I have an additional $170 in front of me that he could have got if he had waited to show his hand. I'd have had to check the river to him, let him put me all in, and then called off the $170 to see his hand and make sure he had the flush.

Whatever the case he is estatic and reminding me to, "Keep it gangster" while he's racking up his 1.6k to "Hit and Run" harder than Prince on his tour in the year 2000.

"Ain't that a bitch?"

Another tough beat and we're down $500.

Another 75%+ edge that doesn't hold.

"Motherfukker variance who do you think this is?"

"I'm going to kick your ass. Twice."

"B..O..B..spell it forward..spell it backward... what do you get?"

"Same old fucking $hit."

BOB
(1:55 in, just listen, trust me.)

"Ain't that a bitch."

Now we've bought back in and are dealt AsKs in the small blind. A spazzy at times competent aggressive player opens to $25 from mid position. There's two callers by the time it gets to us in the small blind and we 3-bet to $100 with hopes to scoop an uncontested $75.00. The original raiser rips it all in for $500 total and pretty much announces he has 1010-AA, or AK himself.

I know there is a chance he could make this move with a weaker holding than AK. But, nothing has happened to him to put him on tilt and I am pretty sure he's aware that I am not going to be 3betting light often out of the SB. In that past I may have been selfish and elected to take a $500 coin flip here against 1010-QQ. But, over the last year I've learned to avoid coin flip spots that could put me down $800+ in a game. Mainly because I just don't play as well when stuck over one buy in and am more likely to tilt the deeper in the hole I get during a session. So, I pitch my ace king soooooted into the muck face up and an exotic at the table goes into cardiac arrest. On top of that the dealer even calls me a "pussy."

Oh well.

It wasn't too much longer until your favorite bull got back to running wild.

Against none other than you guessed it....

An Asian.

There's this one that looks like Ken Jeong from "The Hangover." He's under the gun and makes it $35 to go. I'm sitting with Kd9d on the button and have the fold box checked. But, pick up two callers before me and think, "I'm fukking Lotzilla. I've got to see a flop here. This could only add to the legend."

The cards come out Jd 8d 7h and I pop a boner under the table and start stroking it slowly when you watch your neighbor's daughter wash her Father's car in a bikini.

The Asian slams a $100 stack in the pot and both other players fold out.

We elect to go all in.

We will win this pot by bluffing the Asian out or hitting any diamond or ten on the turn+river.
I get a little too excited about my hand and my fist starts hitting underneath the table while I am masturbating to my % chances of winning the hand which knocks over the Asian's $100 stack of chips in the pot.

He gets pissed and says, "Fuuck Ruu. I crawl."

He rolls over pocket queens.

We're like 60% chance to win here.

Turn card is much like what Kobe Bryant throws up in the 4th quarter these days.

BRICK.

4c

River card is a 10 of clubs and it's no coincidence that Kool and The Gang's "Celebratation" is playing over Motor City Casino's p.a. system as I yell, "Shiipppp it" to rattle this guy's gong.

"Ahhh. Fukking shit. Fukking bullshit. You always fukk me." He shouts at the dealer as he slams his cards down in disgust.

This hand gets us back to even in a very important session of "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" and we go on to grind out a $580 win after a few more hours of being relatively card dead and spot dead.

One advanced play we made was against a standard ABC TAG regular in the cut off and an exotic on the button who called our AdQc $25 under the gun raise.

There was $75 in the pot and the flop came down 10h 5c 2s. I checked. The TAG bet $45. The exotic folded and I made it $115. The TAG called quickly which kind of looked like he thought he was going to take the pot down with 910, J10, Q10, K10, A10, and me check-raising him just kind of pissed him off. So, I strongly believed I could fold him out on the turn since we were both deep at the time and my $200 continuation bluff easily worked when a 2 hit on the turn pairing the board.

Pretty sure I got him to fold out 66-99 or 10x.

We are now up 2.3k since "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak Started."

Session #4

It's another "Fish Friday" at MGM Grand Detroit and I've decided to show up early to play the $2/$5 No Limit Hold Em game that is traditionally filled with a fine assortment of $hit regs, tags, and nits. As I'm waiting for the game to start a text from "HBK" himself pings into my phone and says, "How's that $2/$5 line up looking? All regulars I bet." I confirm Rex's suspicions and let him know the game is going to be filled with a lot of familiar faces.

You see most of us guys who play poker for a living prefer to play against the worst competition possible. We're always looking to give ourselves the biggest edge. When we go up against a table full of people who only play a few days a month it's like Lebron James going up against high school kids at basketball. We should win every time. But, will lose 25%-30% of the time in cash game due to variance and any more than that can be attributed to bad play or tilt. So, as long as we are constantly matching ourselves up against the worst competition and keeping our emotions in check. We're always going to be able to make around $30 a hour at $2/$5 NLHE.

Which is where I've been for the past year or two. However, I am now starting to realize that exploiting the regulars is going to be what propels me to making $40-$50. Sure, it's nice to be a 7 on the scale of 1-10 at poker and make a living off of guys that are a 1-4. But, learning to beat on the regulars that are stuck at a 5-6 like they are street **s selling cigarrettes on New York street corners is where we can find a 33% raise for ourselves in income and that's been my focus lately.

On this Friday night I decide to act like the New York police officers who attacked Eric Garner and treat my opposition much like any minority my badge allows me to beat on for fun. I will be relentless when trying to cripple my opponents chip stacks. I will use well timed aggression that brings them to their knees. I will put their bankrolls in a chokehold applied so savagely that the last thing they will say before I stuff them dead into the back of my trunk is......

#icantbreathe

When I sit I know without question I am the best player at the table. All of these people are weak. All of these people are squares. They can be banged on like a set of chinese gongs and none will ever check-raise or re-raise me unless they have the nuts. They will fold repeatedly to continuation bets on the flop. They will fold just as often to well timed double barrels on the turn when we have favorable board textures.

If they call the flop and call the turn, we'll most likely give up on the river because 90%+ of the time someone calls a flop and turn bet they are not going to fold the river. These recreational players do not come to the casino to find folds on the river once they've already put a lot of money in the pot on the prior two streets of action. We won't go too far over the top much like that coward NYPD pig who jumped off the top rope with a flying knee to Eric Garner's head when he was defenseless.

Here's to hoping that entire gang of thugs ends up in jail one more time.

#icantbreathe

Don't try to mix and match that case with what happened to Michael Brown in Ferguson.

This is a quote taken from none other than Officer Sullivan himself while we were snorting lines off some strippers asses at 7am in Bouzoukis.

"Wait a minute bro. Tell me. Didn't that kid reach for the cops gun? Yup. How many bullets did the cop pump into him again? Wasn't it like 10? Ok bro. How about this? If it was me and anyone reached for my gun. You get 13 bullets pumped into your chest from me. Sorry bro. Don't wanna die? Don't be a loser and reach for my gun bro. I've got cocaine to snort and nitrous tank parties to go to on the weekend."

To which I agree.

These police officers have familes to go home to...

Once you escalate an altercation with them where a reasonable person may believe the officer feared for his life, they don't have to do you any favors.

Sorry.

Now back to banging on these on this $hit regs like Chinese gongs.

We raise 50% of the first 25 hands to $15, $20, $25, or $30 depending on the amount of people who limped in. Half the time everyone folds. The other half everyone folds to our continuation bets. Everything is going our way. After about a hour we see a NIT limp in from first position. The table is also starting to get annoyed with the amount of raising we've been doing. So, this is when NITs will look to limp in with QQ and AA to re-raise our $25 open to $500 and teach us a lesson. We're sitting with 10c8d on the button and elect to just limp in for $5. It goes six way action to the flop and we strike gold. Js 9s 7h. The NIT from first position bets $50 because there is an obvious flush draw and straight draw on the board. We raise it to $125. The NIT starts shaking violently like we do when the cherry fanta slurpee at 7-11 is all blood red watery. The NIT doesn't know what to do. It's obvious he limped in with AA or KK and can't figure out if we flopped two pair or better. We've been raising a lot so he knows there's a good chance we could be bluffing. This NIT is old so he's obviously read "CALL THAT LITTLE PUNK." That's a book all players over 55 have read 10x older and it teaches them the benefits of never folding top pair or better against a "LITTLE PUNK." So, he reluctantly calls. We get lucky and a 2h falls on the turn. This card does not complete a flush or straight so the NIT thinks his AA or KK could be good for sure and he ships all in for like $350 and we snap call. He rolls his AA and we obviously hold up to scoop the pot.

This is a great way to start the day.

A NIT in the back of the trunk ready to go to the taxidermist and this has us thinking about unicorns, rainbows, haribo gummy bears, sasha grey sucking me off in a pubic bathroom, trips to disneyworld as a child with papa, grandma, and grandma marge.

Two hours later we're sitting up $1000.00 and actually thinking about venturing into the real world on a Friday night and meeting some of our friends at TV Bar in Detroit. Then a poker player so exotic he deserves his own display at Sea World takes a seat at the table. I hadn't seen this guy in years. He is the ultimate weak passive exotic. He simply can not fold any pair unless there is an ace on the board in a raised pot. Even then he's hesitant like your wife when you bring up anal.

So, this creature sits down and proceeds to double up right away and now he's sitting with a G in front of him. We're just a little over four hours into our session and know that if we can catch this guy in a big hand we're going to be leaving up two thousand dollars and up 4.5k overall since "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" started. Things are trending in the right direction much like my FNSR stock was in 2011 and then that sloppy ** variance decided to rear her ugly head again.

You see back in 2011 I had over 50k invested in FNSR stock. It has been three earnings in a row that bull had run wild and trampled every broke welfare peon as it paraded itself down wall street. So, I decided to go "All In" again and didn't sell off before earnings were announced. Then the company announced that it has missed earnings and lowered it's next quarter's guidance. On that day I lost over $16,000.00 in the aftermarket. I remember throwing up in the Tom Holzer Ford bathroom where I usually beat off to nude pics and vulgar texts my ex-girlfriend used to send me at the time.

If you've ever lost $16,000.00 in fifteen minutes, had a loved one pass away unexpectedly, found out your wife fucked a biker, realized your son is a hipster, discovered your husband let a street hooker suck him off behind your back (ladies), caught your daughter sucking off an Ice Mountain bottle to simulate a blowjob on webcam for some loser or thought that you may have got a fat chick pregnant....

You may understand devastation.

And that's exactly what I felt after this hand.

I was first to act under the gun with AA and I opened to $25. I got five callers including the exotic from Sea World. The flop came down Ah 7h 7 giving us the stone cold nuts. Can I get a "Hell Yeah" from all you beer drinking swine? So, again unicorns, rainbows, etc. Everything is going my way. I decide to bet $50 into the $125 pot and am promptly raised to $175 by the exotic. He is announcing his hand. He is telling us he has a 7. This exotic is so passive he does not raise on a flush draw and he does not raise if he has the last remaining ace in the deck. He just calls. So, when he raises to $125 we can ship all in for 1k and he will call. This fish has the god damn 7. If his raise isn't enough to be happy about, another guy goes all in for $800. Now this guy could have a flush draw or a 7 as well. But, what do we care? We flopped a full boat baby. Obviously I go all in. It isn't too long before the exotic says, "I'm never folding this. I call."

The hands get rolled over....

The exotic- 7/5 offsuit
The unknown- flush draw

The only way the exotic can win is if another 7 hits the board.

He has 4% chance to win 1.8k.

We have a 96% chance to win 1.8k in this pot and be up 2.8k for the session.

We've got these two bastards locked in the trunk with the first NIT and are about to head on out to the taxidermist.

Then a 7 hits on the turn and sucks the wind right out of our sails.

Damn. We've got to get a better lock on our trunk.

No more unicorns and rainbows today.

The doom and gloom sets in.

Our happiness now in complete "Disintegration."

And not like The Cure playing it live in the 90's. When they performed it chock full of anger and rage. Made you feel like you wanted to get back at whoever wronged you and go ** their best friend.

But, more like how The Cure performs it now days.Makes you feel like you just want to give up and drown yourself in a tub of Ben+Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie and never risk dating anyone again that has choices.

I should have known to leave. But, I'm a glutton for punishment. Just a few hands later I get my KK all in vs a TAGS 4bet shove and of course he rolls aces on me. This is the game I choose to play. One where I had a 96% chance of being up 2.8k in four hours worth of work. But, instead I left down $1,000 because I tilted off another $500 after and I didn't make it out to the bar.

I've always took the losses too hard. I don't like to be around people afterwards. Sometimes even for a few days. That's why I don't play too many tournaments anymore.
I can't take losing to these $hitstains 3 out of every 10 times. If I played tournaments for a living I'd have to lose 8 out of every 10 times becauase there's that much more variance due to the event having to be finished in 24-48 hours.

Yes, the above trait is a weakness.

But, it's one that will be worked on over the remainder of these next 26 sessions.

We are now up 1.5k since "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streek" started.

Will post results of session 5 within the next few days.

Session # 3 (Continued)

Take Lance Armstrong, Alex Rodriguez, Ryan Braun, and any other athlete who has used performance enahancing drugs to achieve stardom for example.

These cheaters have all looked the you in the eye on your television screen and lied to you over and over again like a cheating whore. Yet, many of you reading this still worship these false idols. You give these nobodies who can't string a sentence longer than "It is what it is...." together standing ovations. You pay their outrageous salaries every time you tune into the latest and greatest sports telecast. Then you whine about some broke peon using an "Obama" phone on your Facebook when that low-income policy has been in place for over a decade.

http://www.factcheck.org/2009/10/the-obama-phone/

Don't want to hate the modern day gods who entertain you known as athletes?

Why not hate the millionare CEO who is on www.seekingarrangement.com right now lining up two eighteen year old sluts to come to his suite at MGM Grand Detroit hotel so he can snort cocaine out of both their assholes or do whatever else he wants with them?

It's been a good year for him you see.

His companies stock was listed at $10.00. After he laid off 3000 workers and doubled the workload for the 3000 employees that remained his companies stock soared to $12.50. A glorious 25% gain for his shareholders and a hundred million dollar bonus for him. That's what happens when you figure out ways to keep your profits the same while cutting your labor costs in half you see. This is the type of behavior that's encouraged and rewarded in corporate America. This is really the guy you're helping out when you're standing on your middle class soap box spouting mindless drivel about how low-income assistance programs are ruining America.

And if you don't stop hating poor people it's going to be your wife, daughter, sister, girlfriend, or granddaughter going out on this guys million dollar yacht next reenacting his favorite porn scenes from www.captainstabbin.com.

So, tonight when I refuse to give the bum a dollar or thirty nine cents it's not because I hate him. It's because I don't particularly like or understand his hustle. "Why ask me for thirty nine cents when you know I'm not going to have thirty nine cents to give you?" I ask.

"I don't know." He says. "I was thinking you'd just give me a dollar man. Can you spare it? I can use two. I can use five. It's cold."

"Sorry," I reply. "Next time ask me for a dollar and tell all your friends to stop using that 'Can you spare thirty nine cents line.' You're not fooling anyone."

"Awww, fuck you." He yells as I walk away.

Gotta love Detroit bums.

Anyway, I head home for a good nights rest and get to MGM Grand Casino early the next day where I take some batting practice in the smaller stakes $1/$2 NLHE game while I wait for the $2/$5 NLHE table to open up. When I am finally sat at the $2/$5 NLHE game I am estatic to see a rich man named Bruce that often plays the $5-$10 mandatory $25 straddle PLO game. This guy has more money than god and could pay your wife to cater to his prostate fetish if he had one. He'll also just open ship $500+ into pots if he thinks you are weak or even if he thinks you are strong in hopes you'll fold to his bluff so he can roll his cards over and show you how big of a pussy you really are. I absolutely love playing poker with this guy.

So, we've been coasting along for the first three hours and are up $300. Which means we have $800 in front of us when we are dealt pocket kings under the gun. We raise it to $25 and get three callers including Bruce. $100 total in the pot when the flop comes down Kd 8d 8s which gives us a full house. We decide to lead $45 into the three callers as it looks like a weak/see where I am at bet and hope one of the other players will try to pounce on our perceived weakness and bluff. Sure enough, Bruce obliges us and makes it $150. The guy next to Bruce snap calls the $150. It gets back to us and we take a minute before calling the $105 raise to act like we have a tough decision. The turn card is a 3h. We check. Bruce Checks. Other guy checks. River card is a 6s. We are torn between leading $100 to get value from Bruce + the other guy if he has an 8 or checking and giving Bruce the opportunity to bomb the pot for $500+ on a bluff. We decide to check. As expected Bruce bombs the pot all in. The other guy folds out. We call, take a $5 chip, turn our cards over, and politely place the red chip on top of our cards because we just won around $900 in one pot.

Now that we've got one man stuffed in our trunk it's time to get onto the next one.

We're sitting with around 1.8k when we're dealt pocket aces in mid position. It's folded around to us and we open to only $20 with our AA because we're scared if we make it too much everyone will fold. We have the best hand in the game. We don't want to scare the exotic sea creatures out of the water. We want to make sure they stay in and swim with us when we have premium hands. It folds around to the small blind who makes it $85. Oh baby. Now, this guy is usually pretty level headed. However, he's been stuffed into two different trunks tonight and is down over $1000. I know what it feels like to be down a G at the poker table and on tilt. You're looking for any chance to coin flip to win $500 when you should just be sticking to the game plan and avoiding coin flip spots because in live poker finding spots where we are 65%+ favorites to win the pot is much like having sex with your sister or a Guns N Roses track that appeared on the all time classic "Appetite For Destruction."

It's so easy.

We end up using our read on this man's mood to our advantage.

We decide that if we ship all in for $500 the man will call us with 88-QQ because he'll be up for coin flipping and put us on AQ or AK. If he's holding AK or AQ himself he'll put us on 88-QQ. Basically, he'll do anything inside his mind to convince himself that he is a coin flip against us and it is that in which he does.

He quickly says, "Call." Then rolls his Ace/King." After that he proceeds to say, "I think we're flipping."

"Sorry." I reply. "It's my lucky night. I got aces."

Which scoops us another $500 to add to our 1.8k stack.

We go on to win 1.6k in this session.

Putting us at +$2.5k since "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak Started."

More updates to follow soon.

Session #3

It's 4am Saturday night. A text pops up in my Galaxy III from my friend Rex that reads, "You need to come outside. You'll never believe who I stuffed in the trunk tonight. Just rolled out of the casino with both of them. I've gotta get them on ice until the morning. Then I'll be on my way to the taxidermist."

If you aren't familiar with my poker vocabulary a "stuffing" of any poker player into my trunk means we've taken them for $500+ in a single pot. Then after our taxidermist gets through with him or her the "mantling" takes place. This is where we add the player's head to our mantle above the fireplace so we can show our friends, family, and other players while we are cracking a beer and telling poker stories.

During this holiday season Rex and I have been putting in long hours at Motor City Casino trying to get this guy Mike and his four horses mantled on a custom piece from Timbercrest Taxidermy in Sterling Heights. I have personally landed a kill shot on Mike and three of his horses. However, the fourth one has alluded me on several occassions. Just recently Rex and I looked much like Tommy and Richard from the movie "Tommy Boy" when we were on our way to get the mantle completed with the final horse dead in the backseat.

Or so we thought...

We had our KK all in vs the fourth horses AJ on a J 2 4 flop for over $600. We were able to set up the kill shot when the fourth horse spazz 3bet a fishes $30 open from the SB to $125. We had limped in our KK from under the gun as the fourth horse had been iso 3bet raising the fish a lot. We then proceeded to just call the bet and doing so while dressed in American flag pants, an eagle shirt, and a hat that says, "Murica..That's Why." makes great camoflauge when you're out here hunting.

A lot of poker players don't know what you're capable of....

So, there's around $300 in the pot and the flop comes down J 2 4. The horse checks. I ship all in. He snap calls and rolls AJ. Rex and I's eyes light up because we've long wanted this custom mantle for our new years eve party. Now we have it. So, like I said above. We're on the road driving to the taxidermist and the turn card is a 3. The river card is a 5 giving the horse a suck out straight and sure enough the god dam motherfukker wakes up.

AHHHHHH!!!!! HE'S ALIVE!!!!!

By the time this horse is done escaping he scoops a 1.2k pot and leaves our whip completely destroyed.

Watch here for a visual presentation of the hand....

As I expected, the first carcass in Rex's trunk was none other than the fourth horse. "How'd you get him?" I asked. Rex replied, "He made it easy on me. Didn't even have to use any specialized lures, baits, or scents. It was pure tilt. He was giving Mike's money away tonight."

"So, who is the second one?" I inquired.

"You're never going to believe it," he replied. "He's a centerpiece for sure."

"A centerpiece?" I asked.

"A Detroit poker legend," he assured me. "Go on and take a look underneath Mike's horse if you want. You'll need to see it to believe it. It took him getting aces twice in a row or I'd have never been able to do it. The bastard always buys in for $300. Thankfully, I caught him right after he doubled up before he could signal for the hit and run."

"Wait. No. Impossible. You gotta be kidding me? Moe?" I exclaimed

"Yup." he replied. "Go on and take a look for yourself."

And sure enough he was telling the truth.

It had been over ten years since I last saw Moe lying dead in a trunk.

The only time I was able to stuff him was back in 2004 when I had just got out of Isabella County jail. Moe and I were deep in a $1/$2 No Limit Hold Em game and he was on the button. There was around six limpers so he made a big raise to $25. Three people including myself called which put about $110 in the pot to fight over. The flop came down As 7c 8c. Everyone checked to Moe. Moe bet $100 into the $110 pot. It got back to me and I went all in for $500 with 9c 10c which gave me a straight flush draw. Most of the time any club, any jack, or any six would win me the pot. But, this time I was in trouble. Moe had the Ac Jc in his hand. Meaning my flush outs (the clubs) were no good because if the flush hit he'd have a bigger one. He also had a jack in his hand blocking one of my jack outs. So, I really only had 7 outs (a 28% chance to win the pot). Moe was in a dominating position. Still, he was pondering the call.

I'll never forget when he said, "Do you have a set or a flush draw? Tell me the truth and I'll fold. I'm serious."

"I have a flush draw I replied. A straight flush draw." I replied. Essentially telling him the truth. But, hoping he'd believe I have a set and fold out any ace he could be holding or hoping he just put me on an ace and would then fold out his 1010-KK pair range.

So then he says, "Alrite. I believe you have a flush draw. So, I think I am going to call you. But, I have one favor to ask."

"What's that?" I reply.

Then he tells me, "Well, this is all the money I got in front of me and if I miss the flush draw I'm going to be broke. If I lose this pot is there any way you can throw me ten bucks for ciggarrettes and White Castle." Which if you go back ten years $10.00 was enough to get you a pack of cigs and some sliders for sure.

"I got you $10.00 if you lose the pot." I assured him.

"Alrite. I believe you," he said. "You're a good guy and a good player. I call."

Then he rolled over his AcJc.

I'll never forget what happened after I rolled over my 9c 10c.

He stood up, put on his coat because he knew he was leaving with 1k+ in his pocket or just $10.00 for cigs and White Castle, and then looked me straight in the eye from across the poker table.

"Don't worry kid. You'll win," he said. "I've been seeing you cash out with a lot of money lately. This is your time. In order to be a legend you've got to defeat a legend. You're a good player."

And as that two of diamonds hit on the turn and that beautiful jack of spades hit on the river to give us a straight I felt like I was The Ultimate Warrior and Moe was Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania Six. I had defeated a Detroit poker legend "1,2,3" in the middle of the table and to this day Moe and I have never even went past the flop against one another again.

A lof of people try to shame Moe's game. But, the truth is Moe has been and will continue to be more successful than most in the Detroit poker community. One of my favorite quotes of all time from him is, "Yeah, sure there's a lot of strategy that goes into the game you know. I've read it all. But, the truth is that at these levels the players are all idiots. They're bad bad bad bad players. You just gotta get in, get the money, and get out before one of these morons gets a lucky hand and catches you. Who cares what they think when you rack up with their money and leave. Fukk em all. That's what I say."

So, mantling a guy like that is worthy of a lifetime achievement award and explains why my boy Rex was happy as a dirty hippy chopping up low quality cocaine with his bridge card. So, after we finish getting the two dead bodies on ice we decide to hit a Detroit afterhours for a few beers. As we're leaving I'm approached by a bum on the street who ask me for thirty nine cents.

"Sorry. I only have a dollar." I reply.

"I'll take that." He says. "**. I'll take two. I'm hungry."

"Why did you ask me for thirty nine cents then?" I ask.

"I don't know. But, I'll take whatever you want to give me." He replies.

This sort of thing starts to wear on you after a while. To see so many people in my city broken down and defeated. To hear another human being reduce themselves to, "I'll take whatever you want to give me." To know he or she has absolutely no value in this system that's essentially left them for dead.

I go back and forth on my thoughts on welfare.

Sure, it's nice to believe if you took away government assistance people would become motivated to get an education or find a job. But, I think there's an overwhelming amount of people that are just too long defeated, too far gone, too weak, and already feeling far too entitled to pull themselves up from their bootstraps. These people aren't going to magically become "job ready" and qualified to find gainful employment. There is a greater chance the impoverished people you take government assistance away from will be marching down your christian streets to steal back what you middle class suburbanites vote to take away from them than there is them lining up to work the minimum wage jobs you offer. I can promise you that much. Even some of the staunchest conservatives will tell you it's better to keep these "animals" as you refer to them caged up in their homes with just enough money for food, cable tv, cell phones, internet, and whatever else they can afford to be pacified. What do you care if they hustle a little on the side for a new $hit tattoo they'll never get completed or a used 2008 Escalade with 195k miles and some nice rims on it?

There's better villains out there to hate and root against than these people.

Let me point out a few....

(To Be Continued Tomorrow)

Session #2

I wake up Friday morning at 6:00 am. It's the first time in years I've been up this early without being on some sort of upper. I have to catch a 7:30 am Spirit Airline flight from Detroit to to Las Vegas and I'm going to be cutting it so close I might need some Barbasol. As I cruise down I-94 East I am thankful to still be in the prime of my youth and able to use the twenty four hours in each day any way I choose. No wife, no kids, no masters, and no strings attached to us so it's time to venture into "The Great Wide Open" again much like Tom Petty in 1991.

As I board the aircraft I request a blanket from the flight attendant and she replies, "Go fuck yourself, welcome to Spirit Airlines." I shrug it off and go on to ask, "Well can I at least take a piss?" She snaps back, "That will be $15.00 sir." I reluctantly pay the fee and proceed to the bathroom where I ponder rubbing one out. But, I'm too exhausted and also worried the airline would find some way to upcharge me for it. So, I finish up, wash my hands, and make way to my seat where I'm packed in like a family of Mexicans in a 1992 Ford Pinto.

During the flight I decide to write a few stories and letters that I eventually store in my cell phone under "Working Titles To Be Determined." I should probably invest in an iPad to make my writing process easier. But, the truth is Mark Zuckenberg and Steve Jobs have pretty much ruined the world. So, I absolutely refuse to invest in any shit product Apple puts out and only use my Facebook to gauge just how materialistic, celebrity obsessed, ignorant, and distracted American society has become. Many men enjoy flexing in the mirror to admire their physique. I enjoy scrolling my Facebook feed to admire my intellect.

Go ahead and get mad about it.

If you're not confident you can do at least one thing better than others you're most likely a loser.

You probably have no edge.

That's why your girlfriend is going to end up leaving you for a man with a barbed wire tattoo that fights in low level MMA events or she's going to suck that other guys dick who drives a 4WD Dodge Ram with a Hemi in it. That same motherfucker who always speeds by you at 85 mph in the snow thinking the four wheel drive makes him invincible. Then you drive two miles up the road and do the Tiger Woods fist pump when you see his truck rolled over and hope he is laying dead in the ditch. Yeah, that dude is going to fuck your girlfriend if you don't stop being a pussy. So, if you don't like my posts go back to expressing yourself with worthless memes, recycled quotes, or the top forty two reasons why you're not a loser on your Facebook.

The people you add as friends who you haven't talked to since second grade will really care.

I promise.

You should even post some pictures of food for them.

To those of you who love Lotgrinder and want more, well here's how to order...

Make sure you go there to read my stories, blogs, etc with an interactive twist.

And now back to my story....
.
I check into my room at Bally's north tower. It's the same hotel I stayed in when all you fun loving swine bought me into the 2012 World Series of Poker. As you all know I am forever grateful for that and if you look in 2+2's Staking forum you'll see our WSOP dreams are still very much alive. "The People's Bankroll" is in good shape and weighing in at around $5,000.00 for tournament play this year.

Which is what brought me to Las Vegas. I am not afraid to admit it. I want a 10k+ tournament score as much as you married men with a teenage daughter want to fuck all her friends and much like Faith No More's 1992 track "Epic's" chorus, tournament success has been, "In my face, but I haven't been able to grab it."

Whether it's been sick suckouts or me failing to tighten my all in calling range accordingly late in the tournaments I've failed to bring you all home the big score. I haven't been able to send the critics scurrying back to their holes silent like church mice on Sunday when people gather to pat themselves on the back and pretend they are not swine.

Therefore, I decided to take this trip in order to get some batting practice in on a Venetian $200 buy in/12k chip stack tourney with 30 minute blind levels and a Bellagio $560 buy in/10k chip stack tourney with 40 minute blind levels. Both ended in failure despite me playing well, though. But, it felt good to be back playing some tournaments and I can't wait to get onto the next ones. The mental capacity of most my opponents at these levels are comparable to my left nutsack. So, my confidence is high as your teenage son when he's more waxed than a Chaldean club rat's eyebrows at MGM Grand Detroit's Club V Saturday night dance party.

Anyway, I think it's time we get onto the second cash game session of "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak." Sorry if it's taken a little too long. If you're having trouble paying attention you can always eat another ten milligrams of adderall. I won't tell your local pharmacist how you've been abusing your script. Even though I hate dealing with all you beady eyed bastards at the poker table.

Cheaters.

The lot of you.

So, we finally take our seat at Bellagio $2/$5 NLHE and buy in for $500. A hour into the session we catch a glimpse of an ace being dealt to the table nit and we now know one of his hole cards. Sure enough we wake up with pocket kings and raise to $15 to determine if the nit has AA or AK. After two people call our raise the nit 3bets to $75, we 4bet to $135, and the nit monkey shoves "all in" for over $1000.

We quickly throw our KK into the muck and escape losing only half of what a fast food worker has to work 40 hours a week for....$135.00 USD.

Sad how many of you laugh at them for wanting to make more than minimum wage.

Sad how many of you think you're so much better.

Sad how you can't realize how much more in common you have with them than you do the ultra rich CEO's whose ideals and policies you push.

I'd like to take the time to remind you that you will always be scoffed at and discarded by the real upper class.

You will never be elite.

You will never get to experience true luxury.

You will never bathe in wealth and excess.

You can keep patting yourself on the back that your ability to retain information, fill in blanks, memorize simple processes, and select the correct answers to multiple choice questions have given you a bigger house, nicer car, a few more vacations, and a lot more worthless material possessions than a minimum wage worker has if it makes you happy, though.

Sure, I can agree some people's skills are worth more than others.

Conversely, I'd argue everybody's time is worth a lot more than $7 or $8 a hour.

The civil war might have ended slavery. But, all it did was bring upon slave wages.

There is no doubt in my mind that each and every one of you reading deserves more than you make. So, why not be inspired by the fast food workers and ask for raises across the board at your own workplace? Which is what the powers that be really fear. As long as you look for reasons to hate one another and remain divided you will continue to be exploited. Most of you outside the ruling class will never subjugate. You will only serve. This beer here I am drinking is to the hope senator Bernie Sanders can save you all from yourself in the next presidential election.

Now onto the next hand where we wake up with AdQd under the gun and raise it to $25. We're called by an attractive woman on the button who looks like she hasn't had her clit licked the right way in years. This girl just looks like a bitch. I hope to take every last penny from her and send her on a downward spiral so vicious that she ends up on your computer screen starring in a Brazzers gangbang scene. So, of course I am looking for any opportunity to rattle her cage.

The flop comes down Ac 8c 7d. I lead out $40 and she calls. The turn card is a 6h. I check. She senses weakness and cuts out a $90 bet. I think for a minute and decide she is capable of floating the flop and looking for a scare card or check from me to rep the ace and try to fold out my KK-99 pair range. I determine she is capable of this by her appearance, her ipad, headphones, faux confidence, and her conversing with a local next to her. River card is a 5d. I check. She quickly grabs a $100 bill and is about to throw it in. Then she goes back for another $50 to add on top of it. I decide to look her up after she shoves her money in the pot and she yells, "If you call, you win."

After that she rolls over an 8d while her other card remains face down.

I stone face her and refuse to turn over my cards.

She says, "If you have the ace you're good."

I reply, "I'll wait until you turn over both cards."

She reiterates, "I said if you have the ace you're good."

I reply, "Go on and keep talking. My cards aren't being turned over until you turn over your other one. Like I said, I'll wait."

"Just show the ace and you win." She says. Clearly irritated now.

"That's ok. I'll wait." I reply.

"You serious?" She asks.

"Yup. I'll wait." I reply.

Finally with disgust she turns over a rag four. I turn over my AQ and scoop the pot.
A guy next to me compliments me and exclaims, "That was awesome." We go on to start a conversation and the same lady tries to butt in. But, I back her off with, "We're not talking to you." Clearly iRate she leaves the table and takes a walk. Soon after her chip stack resembled this Faith No More track from 1994.

I can't stand these poker skanks that think they're entitled to soft play and guys kissing their ass. If you're a female and not fucking me or sucking my dick. I'm not doing you any favors. Sorry, go have your friend zone buddy take you to Olive Garden or The Cheesecake Factory. God I remember when I was that guy. What an awful existence.

After this hand nothing worthy of note happens and we go on to grind out a $250 win in this six hour session. On our way back to the hotel room we stop at the burger joint located inside Bally's and order a $8.65 chocolate milkshake. We then retreat back to our hotel room and prepare for our flight home in the morning.

I'll be back with another update soon.

Session #1

I didn't get to the poker room until 8pm today. That's because after I made this thread I drove straight to the gym, collected some money owed to me, and eventually made my way to this chinese restaurant in Lincoln Park, MI known as Cathay House. My waitress wasn't attractive. So, I obviously can't recall anything about her existence other than the fact I wouldn't to duplicate the pornography I watched earlier in the day with her. But, I do remember a half order of general tsao's chicken and a coke set me back $16.95 + a $5.00 tip because after all I am a "Big Shooter," right?

Right.

So, I finally stroll into Motor City Casino's poker room and spot this ghetto looking white kid sporting a t-shirt that has a picture of one of his deceased friends on it who probably died drunk choking on his own vomit or from a heroin overdose. Don't question my opinion on things like this. I study my Facebook feed carefully. If a young black male dies these days it's from gang violence or police brutality. If a young white male dies it's from a school shooting, drug overdose, or suicide. That's because America as a whole and it's children are becoming more and more pussified. Probably why so many of you emos gotta water yourselves down with marijuana or other downers just to, "numb the pain." I mean some of you actually take the time to notify moderators I circumvent the profanity filter on this website. You're that pathetic. You all act like your wife fukked a biker or your girlfriend got fingerbanged buy a Big Boy dishwasher.

Get over it.

The mods will never ban me here.

My posting style is much like Michael Jordan going off in the 4th quarter of a NBA championship game. It can't be stopped. It can only hope to be contained. You might as well calm down, pop a xanax, and keep reading along you $hitheads.

Anyway, so I am fixated on this loser kid and his t-shirt for what seems like an eternity while I wait for my $2/$5 No Limit Hold Em seat to open up. I can't believe I still do this to people.I am hating this kid down to the bone, even though I don't even know him. What's worse is I'd hate him even more if he was one of those faggots that wears scarfs inside the poker room. It's actually depressing that I'm a grown man yet my mind still works like a small child when it comes to things like this. But, that's why you read my entries. I'm not afraid to admit how awful of a person I can be at times. No matter what I'm always going to kick you the real deal. You're always going to get a no holds barred look into my mind and the way I think. I don't care much about the repercussions anymore.

I've got no god that doesn't exist I have to follow. I've got no wife who hasn't sucked my dick in a decade I have to make happy. I've got no kids that hate me who I have to work and provide for. I've got no computer I have to punch my employee number into, no corporate guidelines I have to follow, no employee handbook I have to read, no after work festivities I am required to attend, and no boss that can ever crush my soul by asking me to come in on a Saturday morning or saying something like, "You know, I have a family I'd like to see more of as well. I know how close you are with your Grandmother. But, sometimes in this business we have to make sacrifices Justin."

No.

That's not true.

No.

You don't have a family you want to see more of.....

That's why you work seventy hour work weeks. That's why your wife is an alcoholic all strung out on prescription pills using a Hitachi Magic Wand to stimulate her clit instead of waiting for you to come home and fukk her. You know you never do anymore. That's because you pay to meet escorts in hotels on your lunch hour or fukk whatever female employee is kind enough to laugh at your pathetic jokes for the time being. That's why your son is all strung out on dope. That's why your high school daughter is fukking a 26 year old loser with no job and no car. That's why your Mother and Father know the next door neighbors better than they do you now days. That's why you hate your life. Those are the reasons why you want to be here at work all the time. It has nothing to do with sacrifice. I'm so happy that if you ever took the time to try to lie to me again I could look you straight in the eye and tell you to suck my dikk.

Now that's what I call freedom my friends.

Not the kind Johnny just got his limbs blown off for over in Iraq.

Real freedom.

And I still have it...

And I'm happy to be back hammering on this keyboard for you...

And as always, yes...

I promise you nothing as changed. I am still 100% the swine that you've all grown to love.But, as you know after I've taken time to reflect and really think things through. I usually get things right.
There was nothing wrong with that young kid or the t-shirt he was wearing yesterday. As I took my seat at the $2/$5 NLHE table I couldn't help but notice all the logos that surrounded me. The Polo horse, the Lacoste gator, the Nike swoosh, the New Balance "N" on my 990 shoes. There I was with all these people who had spent money to rep some $hit corporate brands and help CEO's live in wealth and excess. While this youth had took time out of his day to create his own shirt, head to a family owned t-shirt store, and contribute to his local economy.

You want to know who the loser was when I was thinking those thoughts about him earlier?

This guy, right here.

So, I channel my hate unto myself and let the poker session begin.

Whether it's hate directed at myself or another it keeps me focused, it keeps me motivated, it helps me compete at a high level, and it helps me feel no shame when I pull out whatever weapon needed from my arsenal at the poker table in order to break you. When I am at my best, I am often fueled by fury.

The session starts off with much to be furious about.

We end up getting Ad8d our very first hand in the BB. It's a six way limped pot and the flop comes down 8c 6d 8h. SB checks, I check, and it unfortunately it checks all the way around. The turn brings a 4. SB spazzes out and bets $45 into a $30 pot. I flat call to see if any other honkeys want to come along for the ride. But, they all fold out. River brings a meaningless deuce. The SB leads $45 again into a $120 pot. So, I'm thinking, "Yes, good for sure. Lets raise it to $145 here because this moron is never folding a weaker 8." I raise and he snap calls. He rolls over a turned straight. FML.

A half hour later I've managed to identify an exotic breed of life at the table and he's doing a lot of $10 to $15 opens. In this hand we are the BB again and he decides to straddle. We are sitting with Kh10h and by the time it gets to us there are 5 limpers. We decide to just flat call. The dude in the straddle makes it $35. We call and so do two others including the SB and button. Flop is K K 2 rainbow. Straddle dude makes it $25. OTB who is a thinking TAG capable of bluffing as I have history with him raises it to $125. I flat with K/10 kicker and only have around $200 remaining. I decide I am never folding. Turn is a blank 3 and button instantly says "All In." I decide he does not have KJ or KQ or AK obv because he didn't raise his OTB in a straddled pot. My guess is he has a complete airball or 22. I call. He rolls 22.

So, we're two hours into "Eat, Sleep, Break The Streak" and we're getting banged on like a chinese gong. To add to our dismay off our second $500 buy in we've dwindled down to $365 and are confronted by an Asian's 3bet when we open on the button to $30 trying to fold out 3 limpers. The Asian was in the BB and he sized his 3bet to $90. I have played with this kid before and he knows I am capable of raising light from near the button. I have also noticed his 3bet sizing has been lower than $90 when he had real premium hands. When he 3bet from $90 in the BB I put him on 99-QQ, air, or A2-AK. I really thought a 4bet shove for $365 could get him to fold out 99-JJ, air, and any ace except AK.

As I eyed him down and contemplated the $365 shove I thought about all the success I usually have against Asian players. Long time reader of mine "HarryThePro" even suggested I take on the name of "Lotzilla" instead of "Lotgrinder" because I've owned a heft amount of asian soul at the poker table. So, in honor of "HarryThePro" I shipped A2 offsuit "Arr In" and he folded faster than the Buffalo Bills in The Super Bowl.

Lotzilla strikes again.

From there on out things got good for "The People's Champ" and we were able to finish the six hour session up $700.

It's good to be back and I promise you haven't seen my best yet...

I'd have flatted the black man to keep his bluffs in and let him keep barreling.

With a loose cannon like him you just have to pay him off if he has it when it's under 100bb.

"All you read and wear or see and hear on TV is a product begging for your fat ass dirty dollars"....

As am I.

I'm just a hooker with a penis.

And I love saying what I want do...

So Hush...

Ty Ty.