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RedLinePhoenix

9 points

Comment | RedLinePhoenix commented on Journal

First, gl my friend

Jan. 2, 2023 | 6:30 p.m.

Comment | RedLinePhoenix commented on METAGAME

Hi Saulo, how much do you think things like professionalism (showing up everyday, putting in volume ecc) and mental game are important today compared to the strategic element?
I think professionalism is highly underrated while strategy is studied to a point that I don't understand. A lot of players prefers to study 100 hours and avoid playing at all, which to me doesn't make a lot of sense.

Dec. 13, 2022 | 11:03 a.m.

Dec. 9, 2022 | 7:10 p.m.

Why worry about how other people might or might not view life? You are in your own head, not in anybody elses. That thought of yours is quite weird too me.
Take responsibility for your own life, no one else. (Unless you have a family :), then things change).

I was telling these exact same things at some other people, because it's way easier to point the finger toward others. You are not attacking me obv, but I think unless you experience the same suffering, it's kinda difficult to put you in my position. This sounds like an excuse but in reality it isn't.
Yes I should do way more, but that doesn't mean that I don't fight or something. Imo for the vast majority of the people is very difficult to understand how life diffuculty change from peer to peer

How are you improving/working on your goals daily? Do you exercise enough? Do you sleep enough? Do you rest enough? Do you go for walks?
Do you work sufficiently on your poker game? Do you play enough? Plenty of stuff to improve on that have 0 to do with anyone else :)

I don't have goals to be honest, the long pain obliterated me, but I have no one to blame but myself for this.
I do exercise regulary, but my sleeping schedule is messy.

In the next post I will highlight my habits and my goals toward improving them, ty a lot for your time and for try to give me a hand mate

PS. My words don't make any sense to me because, thank God, you are sane

Dec. 7, 2022 | 9:35 p.m.

For many peoples I've changed a lot in a positive way, both IRL and in poker, but I feel stuck in the same place.
I don't know what exactly I'm looking for tbh, probably make sense out of my daily strugglings. I cannot understand how everyone's take their life so lightly, but probably the problem isn't others, it's me. I take it too seriously.
Dunno man, I have a lot of confusion (as you can see)

Dec. 6, 2022 | 5:47 p.m.

Dec. 2, 2022 | 5:04 p.m.

Make Peace With It

Notion's blog link

Nov. 25, 2022 | 9:53 p.m.

I'm posting my blog link in Discord and here you can find the Notion page, which is an enhanced version of the first post, which seems to be liked by many users.
I'm going to include the Notion link in every other entry

I Choose Poker Every Day

Nov. 22, 2022 | 9:25 p.m.

Post | RedLinePhoenix posted in Chatter: I Choose Poker Every Day

^ This is what my friends and my therapist say although I wasn't convinced about it. After some reflection, I think they are right even if my relationship with the game was really a loved/hated one.
What I believe is that poker is my true opportunity to change my life and yet, I haven't dedicated enough time to it, probably due to my self-sabotage mechanism being afraid to win at the game of life.

I've opened up a bunch of blogs before, with different usernames, in order to get a fresh start every single time, a start that didn't happen. I will link my previous blogs in my next entries but for now, here's a recap.
I've played for many years, small stakes exclusively, with mediocre results. I got lucky though, I never studied consistently and I've managed to stay afloat in some way.


Results in BBs


Results in $


Stakes breakdown

Roughly 6 years ago I've got sick with an unknown disease and I began to withdraw my money in order to get cured, while motivation and health declined really fast like my money availability. Right now I'm doing better but I still suffer physically every day.
What I did (and still do) is playing low stakes, a vicious cycle that I try to break for some reasons I cannot or I don't want, the mind could trip us up.

After years of failures, because playing millions of hands at low stakes is a failure, I have to step back and take an honest look at my journey and my life. I don't like where I am.


The last 2 months were a little bit better, but I don't feel I'm moving forward at all. I continue to feel stuck and completely apathetic

I'm the only one to blame for this, but I don't move my ass as I should, cannot pinpoint why, and here's the reason why I opened up this blog, to fully expose myself, and my weaknesses and allow others to help me out.
Deep down, I do think that I'm the only one who knows better, but let's face it, results are telling me that I'm wrong. I don't have any socials, I tend to talk about myself as little as possible so other guys cannot attack me because I know they would highlight all my shit.
My big, fragile, ego is afraid of being judged so he avoids confrontation completely. I need to accept that what I've done since then was wrong.

Even if I write to get help, I know I'm the only one responsible for his own salvation, so I would love to get help, but I have to acknowledge that it will be a gift, not something due. I've found out that talking to me in 2nd person seems to be more effective so I will do the same even here.
I will try to be more sincere and vulnerable as possible because I think this is the only way to change for good.

Thank you for reading this
GL

Nov. 20, 2022 | 8 p.m.

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