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Cyd

200 points

November 2022 - End of month update

Hello my friends,
And so we finally bring some good news and decent results !
Here is November :

Graph (BB)
Graph (Euros)
Stakes Breakdown

Always funny how just one short (and quite insignificant after all) month can do wonders for the mindset.

Of course it’s not only poker ; I finally have an apartment, so now the real journey is starting ! I basically only have a bed and a desk right now, but that’s enough to work, and to approach day-to-day life in a way more relaxed way.

Now I’ll try to take some time to set some goals for the near future. I’ve been planning close to nothing these last months.
Poker expectations were not met this year, but that’s alright, goals are not there to always be reached or to punish ourselves when they’re not. They’re here to push us to become better all the time, and to give us meaning, purpose in what we do.

Anyway, cheers to better times my friends ! Speak soon.

Nov. 28, 2022 | 8:31 p.m.

Hey belrio42, thanks for your comment.
You're absolutely right, I was certainly chasing losses last month, hiding behind reasons like completing RB challenges etc.
I corrected that this month and went back to my normal volume goals,
Still far from perfect, I will try to play shorter and more efficient days (mostly meaning less tables), even if that means playing more days in the month.

Nov. 28, 2022 | 2:07 a.m.

Hey buddy, thanks for your message !
Yup that's what I'm doing right now, practicing humility and patience ;)
And I'm always happy to meet fellow players too, don't hesitate to hit me up !
Cheers !

Nov. 16, 2022 | 7:18 p.m.

October 2022 - End of month update

Hey there boys and girls,
Another late update and another very difficult month, let’s not make it habit !

Graph (BB)
Graph (Euros)
Stakes Breakdown

Despite what I said last month, October was once again very challenging on all levels. I had a few very dark days, but I’m still here, thanks to the support of my stable and the people around me. The healing process is not finished, and that was to be expected, so let’s just be patient, and try to keep up with the consistency.

I might finally have some good news regarding my flat search, and I should sign a rental agreement very soon and finally move in ASAP. My future roommate is a great player, and I’m looking forward to see if this will drive me to work even harder.

Poker-wise the run is still awful, still tens of thousands of euros under EV since the beginning of the year as I’m writing these lines. But that shouldn’t be our focus or derail us from playing the best we can.

I’ll be playing more mid-stakes this month until I rebuild a little, not only the bankroll but mostly the confidence, and go back to a good performance average.

Take care and speak soon my friends !

Nov. 14, 2022 | 1:30 a.m.

Thanks my man, I'll be waiting for you in case she changes her mind ;)

Oct. 16, 2022 | 5:19 p.m.

September 2022 - End of month update

Oh man, I am really late on this one !
Once again, I was probably not very happy to share these results.

Graph (BB)
Graph (Euros)
Stakes Breakdown

I think that qualifies for the worst month of the year (so far !).
What can I say, I’m not good enough yet for my ambitions, and secondarily most probably in the bottom 5% of a normal distribution (maybe even bottom 2% haha).
But none of that is immutable ; every event is independent (remember your maths classes !).
We’re gonna work even harder, play our volume and even more if possible, enjoy life nonetheless, because that’s all we can do about it.

Now onto the good news :
Life is getting slowly better ; I arrived in Vienna about three weeks ago now, and even though I’m still at the hotel looking for a flat to rent (which ain’t easy when you’re a poker player), I am so extremely excited ! I love the city even more now than I did 5-6 years ago when I visited it, it really seems like the perfect fit to me, and I easily see myself staying here for many years to come.
My mental health and my German are (very) slowly improving as well, the environment is helping, and it will get much better as soon as I am settled.

Right now, I’m trying to stick to good habits, while still allowing myself to cut some slack when it’s good for the mindset and the network / future, as this is a big part of happiness for me. I am probably a rare species of way too social animal for a poker player !

Enough about me and this mediocre late update, I’ll do my best to bring more green numbers and good news early November.

Tschüss !

Oct. 13, 2022 | 1:46 a.m.

August 2022 - End of month update

Hello everyone, hope you’re all doing good.

I’m slowly but surely getting back on track here.
Very challenging summer for sure, but I’m trying to see this as an opportunity to grow, focus on the present, make plans for the future and become stronger.
And I’m making quick progress, thanks to the help of the people around me, the sessions with Dr Scipiao from BRPC, many of you guys’ messages of support, a pinch of will, and also the fact that my wife happens to be one of the kindest person on earth and therefore I have no doubt that this whole divorce process will be handled smoothly.

Before going further, here are this month's results :

Graph (BB)
Graph (Euros)
Stakes Breakdown

Swingy month, but scoring a « win » is very welcome for the mindset after four losing reports.
Of course this doesn’t mean much as always, and we’re still far from the goal we’ve set at the beginning of 2022, ie taking shots at 25/50 before the end of the year.
My few rare shots at 10/20 haven’t been working well so far, but we’ll keep on trying until it works of course.
It’s only a matter of time and game selection as the skill gap does not appear to be significant if there at all.

Regarding the (very) near future, I decided to move to Vienna !
I’ll be there on September 15, so if any of you are in Austria, please hit me up and I’ll be glad to meet fellow players.
I had Vienna in mind for a few years, and what better moment than right now for a fresh start ?

Lastly, I promise I’ll be taking some time in the near future to write more than just monthly updates. I might have some free time on the ferry ;).

Looking forward to meeting a lot of new people, wandering the streets of this beautiful city, and of course becoming altogether better poker players and human beings !

Take care.

Aug. 31, 2022 | 5:42 p.m.

Thanks a lot, everyone <3
Really appreciate all the support.
Let's focus on what we can control, as always ; time heals all wounds !

Aug. 6, 2022 | 2:30 p.m.

July 2022 - End of month update

Hello friends,

Here’s to the most challenging month of the year so far.

Graph (BB)
Graph (Euros)
Stakes Breakdown

Pretty terrible period life-wise and consequently poker-wise.
Currently in the middle of a break-up with my wife and 10-year partner, I moved out of my apartment three weeks ago but was lucky enough to have a friend who very kindly accepted to temporarily rent me a room in his house. So I’m experimenting house-sharing with other grinders for the first time, and it is great to not be alone in these troubled times.
Obviously mental game hasn't been on point lately, and I’m still struggling to sit down and play, which never really happened to me before.
So I've definitely been playing most sessions in B-Game for some time ; however my performances don’t seem as catastrophic as my recent results may suggest, it looks like I’m mostly running really really bad.

Pretty tough challenge life is throwing at me right now, but we’re gonna pull it together and get back on track slowly.
I’m taking as many days off as I can without missing my volume target, and trying to make plans for the near future.

Take care of your loved ones today my friends, as you’ll never know what life could throw at you tomorrow ;)

Speak soon.

July 31, 2022 | 5:36 p.m.

emsterdad
Well I think it is yes. In a way, making this "career" choice is kind of a long-term gamble :)

July 1, 2022 | 5:17 p.m.

June 2022 - End of month update

And just like that, half of the year was gone !
Hope everyone’s doing well and enjoying the summer.

Graph (BB)
Graph (Euros)
Stakes Breakdown

Breaking even (after RB) never felt so good !
Got destroyed again for most of the month, so the last days felt pretty good I must say, even if it doesn’t really matter.

After un-zooming a bit recently, I realised that I’m breaking even (in terms of BIs) for more than 220k hands now this year, and still down around 55 BIs since my last upswing.
But at the same time, my results at high stakes (5/10+) have been pretty sick so far : Graph / Stakes breakdown.

Don’t believe the hype guys ; even as professionals, we have no idea what variance can actually be. And it’s scary AF.
I really recommend this article from Patrick Howard on that subject, he explains it better than I would : Stop comparing your results to others.

Besides that, things are going fine, I (re)switched to an evening/night routine, and almost doubled my daily volume by doing that. That means I’ll be able to take full days off more regularly again, which will be great for the mindset and will allow me to enjoy the summer a bit more. It was also necessary for the workouts, as there’s no way you can do anything else than staying indoors with the AC blasting when it’s 40 degrees outside all day long haha.

And despite the poor results these last three months, I still love the game more than ever, I’m still getting better bit by bit, and I stay optimistic about the future. Many regs I use to be afraid of for a long time now start to appear quite weak, or at least not dangerous to me, and I rarely feel outmatched in my games anymore.
So, as always, let’s just focus on what we can control !

Take care everyone, there’s a topic I’ve been wanting to discuss for a bit : the competitive spirit in poker. I’ll take the time this month to write some words on this, don’t hesitate if you have any suggestions, questions or subjects we could brainstorm around.

Speak soon.

July 1, 2022 | 12:39 p.m.

Comment | Cyd commented on 2022 Poker & Fitness Goals

So glad for you my man ! Let's go !

June 18, 2022 | 10:29 a.m.

May 2022 - End of month update

Hey there, I’m late for the May update, I took a few days off in Rome last week (the city where I grew up), and maybe I was unconsciously not very eager to share those haha :

Graph (BB)
Graph (Euros)
Stakes Breakdown

Another tough month, the second in a row, and June is not starting strong either :)

However I have some news : I was recently approached by Max Lacerda from BRPC, and after talking a while with him and Saulo, I was pleasantly surprised by their methodology and overall organisation, and how they seem to constantly try to improve and aim for the best.
So even though I wasn’t really looking for another CFP contract, signing with them sounded like the right move for my upcoming career !

It’s not going to be easy though ; I will have to consistently play a lot of volume, while also studying on the side, attending the coaching calls, drilling the spots etc.
But there’s no reward for those who don’t sweat, we know that, and poker definitely doesn’t come cheap (for the long-run player at least).

Now it’s time to put the work in, and continue to move towards being « result independent ».

Take care and speak soon !

June 8, 2022 | 11:24 a.m.

Well done Patrick, that's awesome !

May 27, 2022 | 9:31 a.m.

April 2022 - End of month update

Hello everyone,

Here we’re about full honesty and transparence, even during rough patches. So here are the results for April.

Graph (BB)
Graph (Euros)
Stakes Breakdown

To these numbers, you can add (or should I say subtract) about 4,5k of live losses, and about 1,5k on GG. That should bring us to around -14k total.
I finally had my first 35BI downer of the year !
But that’s OK. It’s only numbers, small samples, and from yesterday I’m now back to full online mode, with the goal to improve as much as I can and get back on track.

I’m not very happy about how I played recently, both live and online. However I’m happy with how I handled the swings. I keep on remembering that I reached a point where it’s OK for me to drop 10k in a day. Sure it’s slowing me down, but it’s not crushing my life and soul.

Sun is shining, good times are ahead, now it’s time to show them what we’re made of !

Take care my friends.

May 2, 2022 | 2:34 p.m.

Hey friends, a quick update from Spain.

My one-week trip turned into a three-week trip, after catching Covid the first week (most likely) in the casino. I had almost no symptoms but decided to do a test just in case. So I extended my stay twice and rented an apartment on my own, waiting for this thing to leave my body. This morning I tested negative again, so I'll be heading home on Friday.

Besides that, the ESPT was a lot of fun overall. I played the Main Event (for fun), managed to run good and almost made a very nice score, busting 17th out of 784 on Day 3.
The cash games were also pretty sweet, even if I didn't run well. We mostly played very deep 10/20 games in the "private room" of the casino, felt like a big VIP whale haha,

Since then, I haven't played much online because grinding long hours on the laptop is not very pleasant, and I can only access Winamax from here, but still managed to score a bit over 10k hands,
It's a good exercise after all, I'm trying to play four tables only, the best I can, and do more study as well. Even took a RIO Elite sub for the first time ever :)

Hope everyone is doing well, see you soon at the tables !

April 11, 2022 | 11:27 a.m.

March 2022 - End of month update

Hello my friends !
The online grind is over for me this month, tomorrow I’ll be heading for Madrid for Pokerstars' ESPT festival and finally play some (hopefully good) live games again !

Graph (BB)
Graph (Euros)
Stakes Breakdown

Another good month so far, but I’m sure I have enough of one week to punt everything at 10/20 live haha.
It will be nice to catch a break and leave the island for a few days.

Actually, just knowing that I would go significantly improved my mood recently (that, along with the announcements of two upcoming festivals in Malta next month).
It means novelty, change, going out, seeing people, networking, all these things I love to do and that I was eager to find again in poker. But I guess I already mentioned that !

Anyway, reach out and say hello if you’re in Madrid this week !

Take care.

March 27, 2022 | 4:44 p.m.

Meliodas
Hey bro, OK I think I get it.
Just wanted to add that this "vision" I have doesn't bring me suffering or frustration (at least not anymore).
Just thought it'd be interesting to share some ideas here, and I don't have any issue with people not embracing the same mindset ;)

March 3, 2022 | 11:57 a.m.

Discomfort Thanks ! I'm playing mainly Pokerstars (EU and FR), and a bit of Winamax.

March 2, 2022 | 6:13 p.m.

February 2022 - End of month update

And... the shortest month of the year is over (although it didn’t feel that short).
Everything is going well so far, another good month in the books !

Graph (BB)
Graph (Euros)
Stakes Breakdown

What’s funny is my run at 500nl on Stars.Fr, which is usually the stake where I had one of my highest WR. It especially concerns a couple of regs I play all the time that are experiencing the most god-like run against me, maybe they’ll recognize themselves haha.
Otherwise I (again) played a bit too much for my standards, and didn’t take enough time to study off the tables. I need to correct that as this is what renews my enjoyment, learning new strategies and trying to apply them.

Otherwise I’m getting a bit tired of the winter, as always around that time of the year. However I’m really happy to see that most major events are coming back this year ; we’ll have two small festivals in Malta in the second half of April, as well as others in Europe, so I’m currently trying to see which ones I’ll be able to attend and find other players to share accommodations.
I miss traveling and live poker a lot, and the beauty of our lifestyle is that it allows us to combine business and pleasure this way !
That’s what I loved about music too, and certainly what also motivated me almost five years ago now to try to become a full time poker player.

Hope you guys are all doing well, and maybe meet some of you IRL this year.

Speak soon.

March 2, 2022 | 12:53 p.m.

Meliodas
Hey thanks man, all the best to you as well !
You're right about the fact that most poker players only see the money, that's partly why I thought that sharing these questions could be interesting.
What do you mean by "another Don Quixote" ? That I sound delusional in my vision of poker ? Too idealistic ?

Feb. 22, 2022 | 3:34 p.m.

The « Bodoggate », or when the source dries up.

Some of you might have heard about the recent wave of bans occurring on Bodog/Ignition accounts. I don’t know the exact reasons for this « clean up », but apparently these two sites decided to enforce the rules and froze a large number of « illegal » accounts, meaning players playing from restricted countries under a different name for example, or using VPNs etc.
Many players I know have now a large part of their bankroll locked, and while it's unlikely they confiscate the funds, at the moment they’re in the dark.

Even in unpleasant events like this, I believe there is something to learn.
Many of us are ready to compromise safety for game quality. Wel’ll be ready to play on borderline shady sites or apps and/or get around regulations by using VPNs or aliases to get more fish at our tables.
Without even judging if this « ethically acceptable » for you, my question is : are you ready to take the gamble ? Is it worth it ?

I know that it can be frustrating to live in a country where you don’t have access to the sites you want ; I felt the same when I was in France. You’re locked in a small pool, have very few sites to play on, pay higher rake, often get worse promotions / rakeback, while countless regs from many other countries are (for some reason) free to register on your restricted network and feast on the local weak players.
But is it worth it to be getting around the laws and risking to lose your funds and everything you've worked for ?

While I don’t think it is fair that sites wake up some day and decide to freeze suspicious accounts after not caring for years, I also think these kinds of practices just shouldn’t be available in the first place.

There is another point I’d like to bring to the table, which might be a bit controversial. Where is the value for us aspiring professionals or professional players ?
It is of course, as everyone likes to remind us, in selecting good games to play in. Certainly, if you’re the 6th best player in the world and always sit along the top 5, you’ll be losing in the game.
However, what if you’re in the top 100, and sit among complete beginners or top 1000 only ? Are you going to progress ? Are you going to be incentivized to get better and rise through the ranks to reach the top 5 ? How will you even know if you’re getting better if the competition is so low ?
I believe the true value for us passionate players is to invest in our abilities.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how much you made this month or this year if you’re unable to repeat the effort in the future. The only guarantee of you being able to consistently win at poker in the long run is becoming the best possible player.

If you’ve been playing for a very long time exclusively on very soft unknown sites, and someday you’re forced to switch to z500 on Stars for instance, you’re in for a rude awakening.

Good day friends, and feel free to share your thoughts on this rant.

Feb. 22, 2022 | 2:27 p.m.

Hey man,
First, I think that if it was that easy, everyone would be playing 5/10 ;)
Most courses online (even the very good ones) often stay on the surface, and never really give you the "insider's tips", because they don't really have any incentive to do so.
You'll often hear things like "if you have reasons to believe your opponent will overfold/call here, then do this....".
Then the community is really important. If I just sent you a bunch of lines to apply in certain situations and tell you to stick to them, you'll probably try for a while and then start deviating when you hit the first small downswing simply because you don't have enough proofs that these strats work. We like to doubt everything and seek exceptions everywhere. The only way to counter our tendencies is to constantly see the results of other players in your group that take the same path and succeed.
And of course, the support of these same players to help you with your doubts and technical misunderstandings.

Feb. 1, 2022 | 12:04 p.m.

January 2022 - End of month update

Hello friends !

We're back for the first monthly update of this new year.
I am now fully on my own after finishing my contract with Poker Detox on the 3rd of January, so this one is a bit special for me.
Of course, right after I got off stake, I experienced a nice 20 BI downswing haha. But not complaining, as I ran very well the rest of the month and even managed to book what I think is my best month ever in online CG.

Graph (BB)
Graph (Euros)
Stakes Breakdown

So starting the year on a nice heater for sure. As you can see I mixed up quite a lot of 200nl this month for bankroll reasons, but got lucky enough to run very well at 500nl and 1Knl, so hopefully my 200nl days are gone for good. ;)

I now have a decent bankroll to play 500 as my main game by myself, and I'll keep on taking shots at 1k when the tables are good. Obviously I have to be a bit more conservative now BRM-wise, but I still intend to stay on the aggro side of things as the goal is moving back higher quickly.

Regarding level of play, I'm not extremely happy with myself, my redline is dropping a bit and I've probably been too passive many times. I'll work on that.

Life-wise, we took a few days off in Madrid this month with some of our best friends and had a great time. The plan is to try to do more of these little escapades, like a few days every two months or so. I feel like this way more beneficial for the mindset than taking several weeks in a row once a year (and you come back to poker with a refreshed mind without having forgotten how to play !).
Still haven't gotten back to the language learning or music, but it's in the plans (just like answering you RoleTide, sorry for the delay).

Anyway life is good, I hope you guys are enjoying this time of the year as well ! Speak soon.

Jan. 31, 2022 | 1:01 p.m.

Hey man, no worries that's a completely legit question.

First of all, as you mentioned a CFP is not only about staking, otherwise it's only a staking agreement, and you can definitely find one cheaper than that ;)
Second, you can also opt in for a CFP without being staked, which will get you a far better deal money-wise.

As for the "is it worth it" question, my answer is pretty straightforward : I certainly wouldn't have been able to reach nl1k by myself in 2021 without it. So the math of playing 200 unstaked or 500 on stake isn't really relevant IMO. It is always better to play as high as you can, because skill gained is not something you can lose like the money you put on the table. The experience is far more valuable than the amount in Euros.

As for how I felt, I don't see a big difference now that I play on my own from when I played on staked ; I still see the money on my accounts as my "player credits" as I did back then. Sure the amount is a lot smaller, but I'm still able to play 500nl and it's just fine by me. I wasn't going degen mode when I was on stake, because the money (or at least part of it) was still my "salary" anyway. So I had no incentive to go nuts and potentially lose it all in one night.
Conversely, now I have no reason to be too nitty either, because I'd just waste potential gains by playing too low.

For us in poker, money is just a means to an end. It is the tool of the trade, not the absolute goal. What will always be more important than the amount on your account is the skills you've worked for and the experience you're gathered. Just like in any other domain, those are what make a valuable actor out of you, or don't.

Those are my two cents ;)

Jan. 15, 2022 | 12:36 a.m.

Comment | Cyd commented on Hard Work Pays Off

LFG man !

Jan. 3, 2022 | 12:41 p.m.

GocceGocce Thanks my man ! Best of luck to you too.

Jan. 3, 2022 | 12:39 p.m.

2021 Yearly Results and goals for 2022

Alright, here’s the big report !

Graph (BB)
Graph (Euros)
Stakes breakdown

You may not see anything impressive about these results, and there isn’t really in a vacuum ; however this year has certainly been the most important of my starting career as a poker player.
I started as a 100NL player taking febrile shots at 200NL and ended it as a confident 1klNL player taking shots at 2kNL. Certainly more than I expected.
Overall, I am especially proud of what I managed to achieve at high stakes so far.

After three years of struggling and mostly breaking even, I am now confident I can make a living from this game and compete at a high level. I at least 10x'ed my poker knowledge this year, thanks to Poker Detox, all the work I’ve done, and of course all the great players I’ve met or kept in touch with throughout this journey.
And I certainly do not intend to stop there and get lazy, but instead keep on improving and compete with the best in the world.

So, the poker goal this year will be to take shots at 5kNL before the end of 2022. This will be extremely challenging for many reasons.
First, the gap is obviously huge between 1k and 5k, and some missed shots could potentially ruin the entire year’s efforts. And 10/20 games are not very easy to find, as few sites include this stake and tables are rarely running.
Second, the more we try to move towards excellence, the more work it requires to gain only small edges. I will have to work a lot harder and understand the game at a much deeper level to go from 1k to 5k compared to what I needed to do to go from 100NL to 500NL.
And lastly, my contract with Poker Detox will be over in a few days, meaning I will have to send most of my bankroll (staking money) back to them. I will be left with very little money to play the stakes I’m playing now, and will probably have to start the year back at 500NL or maybe even lower, I’m not sure. Or maybe I’ll try to find a bit of staking.
Anyway I’ll have to stick to a very aggro BRM if I wanna move higher and reach my goals, so let’s hope things don’t go too bad for me in the upcoming months ;)

As for other life goals, I have a few things I’d like to add back to my life to diversify my activities outside of poker.
I’m thinking of getting back into music a bit. As a complete recreational of course. I might be taking some singing lessons again to get back on track and/or try to find some people to write songs with or just play for fun.
Also, I’ve been slacking on my language study these last months. I was practicing regularly for a long time and almost didn’t do anything since November.
I would like to reach at least a strong B2 level in Spanish and German (the latter will be way harder, not only because the language itself is a lot more difficult for me, but also because I’m almost starting from scratch). That will involve doing more than just working with an app like I did so far, and finding some native speakers to chat with and improve actively.
Regarding sports, I’ve been working with a company called RPS for two months now, and it’s been really motivating. The programs are evolving, shaped to my goals and performances, and the follow-up is really pro. I’ve just switched to a 5-day/week schedule, which is really challenging but I wanna give it a shot and stick to that for a while.

That’s pretty much it for now. I don’t have anything drastic to change or incorporate, as I strongly believe these resolutions never lead to anything. So we’ll keep on getting better step by step.

Again, I wish you all the best for this new year, and thank you so much for reading this blog.
Have a great one my friends !

Jan. 1, 2022 | 3:03 p.m.

December 2021 - End of month update

First of all, happy new year my friends ! May 2022 be filled with joy and success.

Graph (BB)
Graph (Euros)
Stakes breakdown

I managed to finish the year pretty well, that’s always good for the mindset.

In addition to my usual sites, I also played 5/10 on GG Poker this month, played 30k hands there and dropped around 13 BIs (-7 after RB), helped by the most ridiculous run ever.
For several days now my account has been frozen for « verification », despite me providing a shit ton of documents… Let’s see how this works out.

Anyway, I’m happy I pushed myself and didn’t play anything below 500NL for the entire month, and kept on taking a few shots at 2kNL.

OK, I’ll be back in a moment with another post to reflect on the whole year and share the overall results.

Speak soon !

Jan. 1, 2022 | 1:35 p.m.

Haha yeah the last option isn't very fruitful for the future, and I've done my fair share of it too.
I also think it's important not to see things in a way that's too "binary". For me it's not about striving for perfection or even avoiding the eventual (and inevitable) "relapses" ; it's just that they get scarcer as we become more present.

Dec. 28, 2021 | 12:02 p.m.

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